Joke thread

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Re:

Post by 2399 » Sun Feb 19, 2012 2:10 pm

Andy Waller wrote:I went to the zoo and all there was, was a little dog sat there.

It was a shit zoo.
I didn't get it....



This is how it's done:
communistworkethic wrote:bloke goes to the zoo, there was only a dog there


it was a shit-zu
From Wed Nov 09, 2005 3:17 pm!!!

Let's combine the two to make a super joke!
I went to the zoo and all there was, was a little dog sat there.

it was a shit-zu

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Re: Re:

Post by TANGODANCER » Sun Feb 19, 2012 3:01 pm

2399 wrote:
Andy Waller wrote:I went to the zoo and all there was, was a little dog sat there.

It was a shit zoo.
I didn't get it....



This is how it's done:
communistworkethic wrote:bloke goes to the zoo, there was only a dog there


it was a shit-zu
From Wed Nov 09, 2005 3:17 pm!!!

Let's combine the two to make a super joke!
I went to the zoo and all there was, was a little dog sat there.

it was a shit-zu
:shock:
Myself, when young, did eagerly frequent, Doctor and Saint and heard great argument
About it and about: but evermore, Came out by the same door wherein I went.

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Re: Joke thread

Post by davroduk » Sun Feb 19, 2012 9:35 pm

Dujon wrote:A young mother was taking her four years old daughter for her daily walk when the daughter stopped to watch some ants running up and down a plant. "What are those ants doing, Mummy?", she asked. The mother explained that the ants were probably milking the aphids that lived on the bush and then described what was going on. "Gosh you're clever, Mummy," she paused for a moment and added "are all mummies as clever as you?" "Yes, darling, all mummies are clever as they have to pass a Mum Test before they are allowed to become mothers."

The pair ambled on, the youngster deep in thought. Suddenly she piped up, her face problem free, "Oh, I get it! Those who don't pass the Mum Test have to become daddies."
:conf: :conf: :conf: :conf:
TALKING BALLS AS ALWAYS

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Re: Joke thread

Post by 2399 » Mon Feb 20, 2012 3:59 am

It's a Joke for Mothers and Women Basically.

My Partner laughed at it

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Re: Joke thread

Post by 2399 » Mon Feb 20, 2012 12:29 pm

I told some jokes to a friend today (from the first 5 pages here/.)

He told a very Crude one.

I said I should post it here and both he and my Partner said 'No Way!' and that I would get death threats and even banned if I were to post it.


So I'll Post a riddle:

What's In the Past, In Today, at the end of every Era; But not in the Future????????????????





























Wait until next week to Find out!!!!


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8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o
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8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o
8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o
8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o
8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o 8) :pray: :o :cry: :crazy: :pray: :? :D :o
















Nah ; It is the Letter A

:?

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Re: Joke thread

Post by malcd1 » Mon Feb 20, 2012 12:31 pm

That was an easy one.

I thought you were barred from this forum anyway? :wink:
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Re: Joke thread

Post by thebish » Tue Feb 21, 2012 5:50 pm

Image
Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Gooner Girl » Tue Feb 21, 2012 6:53 pm

malcd1 wrote:That was an easy one.

I thought you were barred from this forum anyway? :wink:
he should be purely for that new signature! ;)

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Re: Joke thread

Post by 2399 » Tue Feb 21, 2012 10:52 pm

The Signature I posted was fake.

(So I could add a few seconds extra to the riddle)

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Montreal Wanderer » Wed Feb 22, 2012 5:15 pm

2399 wrote:The Signature I posted was fake.

(So I could add a few seconds extra to the riddle)
It didn't require that many.
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Montreal Wanderer » Wed Feb 22, 2012 5:15 pm

There comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband. For example...

A wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.
From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two.
She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.


As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

Hi Darling", he says, "Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Prufrock » Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:21 am

Just walked in on my illiterate brother sobbing about how difficult his English exam is going to be. I gave him a big hug and said, "There, their they're."

He'll never know the difference.
Basically, if you can't make your meaning plain with all the richness of the English language and you have to resort to cartoon faces made with punctuation marks then you're a dick.

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Re: Joke thread

Post by TANGODANCER » Thu Feb 23, 2012 11:13 am

Worth repeating a classic in memory of Frank Carson:

"Did you hear about the Irishman who reversed into a car-boot sale and sold the engine." :D
Myself, when young, did eagerly frequent, Doctor and Saint and heard great argument
About it and about: but evermore, Came out by the same door wherein I went.

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Re: Joke thread

Post by thebish » Thu Feb 23, 2012 11:56 am

TANGODANCER wrote:Worth repeating a classic in memory of Frank Carson:

"Did you hear about the Irishman who reversed into a car-boot sale and sold the engine." :D

lolz... that'd be because all Irishmen are thick, right??
Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Worthy4England » Thu Feb 23, 2012 12:05 pm

thebish wrote:
TANGODANCER wrote:Worth repeating a classic in memory of Frank Carson:

"Did you hear about the Irishman who reversed into a car-boot sale and sold the engine." :D

lolz... that'd be because all Irishmen are thick, right??
Depends - sometimes it's just Kerrymen...

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Andy Waller » Thu Feb 23, 2012 12:10 pm

thebish wrote:
TANGODANCER wrote:Worth repeating a classic in memory of Frank Carson:

"Did you hear about the Irishman who reversed into a car-boot sale and sold the engine." :D

lolz... that'd be because all Irishmen are thick, right??
Nah, he had a Porsche.
What a hero, What a man...... Ooooh, what a bad foul...

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Gary the Enfield » Thu Feb 23, 2012 12:13 pm

thebish wrote:
TANGODANCER wrote:Worth repeating a classic in memory of Frank Carson:

"Did you hear about the Irishman who reversed into a car-boot sale and sold the engine." :D

lolz... that'd be because all Irishmen are thick, right??

Tick

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Re: Joke thread

Post by TANGODANCER » Thu Feb 23, 2012 12:30 pm

thebish wrote:
TANGODANCER wrote:Worth repeating a classic in memory of Frank Carson:

"Did you hear about the Irishman who reversed into a car-boot sale and sold the engine." :D

lolz... that'd be because all Irishmen are thick, right??
No, just because Frank Carson was an Irishman with a sense of humour. My dad was also one.
Myself, when young, did eagerly frequent, Doctor and Saint and heard great argument
About it and about: but evermore, Came out by the same door wherein I went.

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Re: Joke thread

Post by thebish » Thu Feb 23, 2012 12:32 pm

TANGODANCER wrote:
thebish wrote:
TANGODANCER wrote:Worth repeating a classic in memory of Frank Carson:

"Did you hear about the Irishman who reversed into a car-boot sale and sold the engine." :D

lolz... that'd be because all Irishmen are thick, right??
No, just because Frank Carson was an Irishman with a sense of humour. My dad was also one.

... not just that though - cos you'd also have to be thick to sell your engine... surely? the joke IS that Irishmen are thick isn't it? :conf:
Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

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Re: Joke thread

Post by boltonboris » Thu Feb 23, 2012 12:32 pm

thebish wrote:
TANGODANCER wrote:Worth repeating a classic in memory of Frank Carson:

"Did you hear about the Irishman who reversed into a car-boot sale and sold the engine." :D

lolz... that'd be because all Irishmen are thick, right??
You can be a right tosser at times
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