last night of freedom

white blood · Post by **white blood** » Wed May 10, 2006 11:43 am

I know this is pretty lame coming on here for inspiration but I thought it might be a funny thread.

We have a stag do coming up in Spain and we have been trying to come up with the perfect stag night stitch up for the groom. Everyone has heard of being stripped naked and handcuffed to a lamppost, or shown up by a stripper (with or without a cock) etc. its all a bit of a cliché, we need something original and hilarious. We want him to be massively inconvenienced, embarrassed, ashamed, and pissed off, hopefully with something still to show for it at his wedding? We are not too concerned about health & safety, nor any financial implications to his own pocket – we just wanna stitch him up big time for our amusement only!

We have talked about intercepting his case on the way out and either swapping all the clothes for dresses or sabotaging the clothes with paint and scissors? We thought we could maybe put him on overnight fishing trawler to somewhere? And we discussed lying about flight times and coming home without him, but taking all his clothes with us? Like I said, pretty lame. So come on folks, ideas please.

Lennon · Post by **Lennon** » Wed May 10, 2006 11:45 am

Drug him, then amputate one of his arms while he's asleep.

CrazyHorse · Post by **CrazyHorse** » Wed May 10, 2006 12:26 pm

white blood wrote:I know this is pretty lame coming on here for inspiration but I thought it might be a funny thread.

We have a stag do coming up in Spain and we have been trying to come up with the perfect stag night stitch up for the groom. Everyone has heard of being stripped naked and handcuffed to a lamppost, or shown up by a stripper (with or without a cock) etc. its all a bit of a cliché, we need something original and hilarious. We want him to be massively inconvenienced, embarrassed, ashamed, and pissed off, hopefully with something still to show for it at his wedding? We are not too concerned about health & safety, nor any financial implications to his own pocket – we just wanna stitch him up big time for our amusement only!

We have talked about intercepting his case on the way out and either swapping all the clothes for dresses or sabotaging the clothes with paint and scissors? We thought we could maybe put him on overnight fishing trawler to somewhere? And we discussed lying about flight times and coming home without him, but taking all his clothes with us? Like I said, pretty lame. So come on folks, ideas please.

Thank the lord you didn't have anything to do with the organising of my stag do!

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Wed May 10, 2006 1:03 pm

Don't do anything where he'll be involved with the law. Spanish police are renowned for their jolly sense of humour....not. My mate was having a drink in a Spanish bar after just arriving there, he still had his suitcase with him, when the police arrested every young Englishman on the street because some idiots had kicked off in a bar. It took his father three months and a fortune in visits over there to get him out of jail and he hadn't done a thing.

Find a bar where the Brits hang out do what you're going to do there. That's if you want to see him in the next three months, or take him up to one of the hill villages where they don't speak English and leave him there. That'll be an ordeal in itself.

Montreal Wanderer · Post by **Montreal Wanderer** » Wed May 10, 2006 1:26 pm

I don't enjoy being old but I realize there are compensations...

white blood · Post by **white blood** » Wed May 10, 2006 1:56 pm

TANGODANCER wrote:Don't do anything where he'll be involved with the law. Spanish police are renowned for their jolly sense of humour....not. My mate was having a drink in a Spanish bar after just arriving there, he still had his suitcase with him, when the police arrested every young Englishman on the street because some idiots had kicked off in a bar. It took his father three months and a fortune in visits over there to get him out of jail and he hadn't done a thing.

Find a bar where the Brits hang out do what you're going to do there. That's if you want to see him in the next three months, or take him up to one of the hill villages where they don't speak English and leave him there. That'll be an ordeal in itself.

Like it!

hisroyalgingerness · Post by **hisroyalgingerness** » Wed May 10, 2006 1:59 pm

tattoo with the mother in law to be's name works for me

Backgammon · Post by **Backgammon** » Wed May 10, 2006 2:57 pm

hisroyalgingerness wrote:tattoo with the mother in law to be's name works for me

What about a sunburn tattoo instead? Get him pissed (or drug him). Drag his carcass into the sun, then carefully right the name of his least favourite football team on his back in sun cream.... Home made tattooing!

white blood · Post by **white blood** » Wed May 10, 2006 3:06 pm

Backgammon wrote:
hisroyalgingerness wrote:tattoo with the mother in law to be's name works for me
What about a sunburn tattoo instead? Get him pissed (or drug him). Drag his carcass into the sun, then carefully right the name of his least favourite football team on his back in sun cream.... Home made tattooing!

good un, but maybe across his forehead, a large M U F C on his bonce for the wedding photos would be quality!! but we need something bigger, we can can do that anyway as a side stunt.

Backgammon · Post by **Backgammon** » Wed May 10, 2006 3:12 pm

white blood wrote:good un, but maybe across his forehead, a large M U F C on his bonce for the wedding photos would be quality!! but we need something bigger, we can can do that anyway as a side stunt.

I'm sorry, but there simply isn't anything worse than getting married with MUFC burnt on your face.... Living Hell...

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Wed May 10, 2006 3:15 pm

why not get him shagged by a hooker with an STI and a goat, film it and post it to his prospective wife and inlaws. I'm sure they'll all piss themselves laughing.

Or why not make a fake but realistic looking bomb and hide it in his hand luggage it willbe hilarious!! Just imagine his face when he gets surrounded by 6 coppers with Heckler & Koch MP5 semi automatics and his kicked to the ground, 'cuffed and thrown in a cell.

Or why not fill the lining of his suitcase with johnnies filled with a white powder on the way home, customs will see the funny side when they realise it's talc or flour, honest.

white blood · Post by **white blood** » Wed May 10, 2006 3:54 pm

we thought of the drug thing too, but we figured we might get in bother ourselves, it would be quality if he got 'the glove' though!

Another classic 'jonny' trick is one we did to someone on a previous lads adventure - our victim was completely bolloxed, unconscious, naked, and conveniently lying on his front on a bed. We got a jonny, unravelled it, and randomly spat in it (I think there was a touch of shaving foam too for effect) then we took a toothbrush and expertly pushed the end a little bit up his arse, then we left two empty beer bottles and a used ashtray (he dosent smoke) on the bed side cabinet and left the room. Imagine how quiet our friend was the next morning, unfortunately we couldn’t contain our giggles and he sussed us out, but we still pinned the photo on the pub notice board when we got back!

CrazyHorse · Post by **CrazyHorse** » Wed May 10, 2006 3:57 pm

white blood wrote:we thought of the drug thing too, but we figured we might get in bother ourselves, it would be quality if he got 'the glove' though!

Another classic 'jonny' trick is one we did to someone on a previous lads adventure - our victim was completely bolloxed, unconscious, naked, and conveniently lying on his front on a bed. We got a jonny, unravelled it, and randomly spat in it (I think there was a touch of shaving foam too for effect) then we took a toothbrush and expertly pushed the end a little bit up his arse, then we left two empty beer bottles and a used ashtray (he dosent smoke) on the bed side cabinet and left the room. Imagine how quiet our friend was the next morning, unfortunately we couldn’t contain our giggles and he sussed us out, but we still pinned the photo on the pub notice board when we got back!

I just pray to God you used the handle end of the toothbrush...

mofgimmers · Post by **mofgimmers** » Wed May 10, 2006 4:15 pm

white blood wrote:we thought of the drug thing too, but we figured we might get in bother ourselves, it would be quality if he got 'the glove' though!

Another classic 'jonny' trick is one we did to someone on a previous lads adventure - our victim was completely bolloxed, unconscious, naked, and conveniently lying on his front on a bed. We got a jonny, unravelled it, and randomly spat in it (I think there was a touch of shaving foam too for effect) then we took a toothbrush and expertly pushed the end a little bit up his arse, then we left two empty beer bottles and a used ashtray (he dosent smoke) on the bed side cabinet and left the room. Imagine how quiet our friend was the next morning, unfortunately we couldn’t contain our giggles and he sussed us out, but we still pinned the photo on the pub notice board when we got back!

...a good addition to that is to get some brave soul to rub deep heat on his ricker, push the nodder up his arse and steal a tenner off him.

No-one say anything, but allude to him going off with a bunch of lads on his own... then wait...

white blood · Post by **white blood** » Thu May 11, 2006 1:01 pm

CrazyHorse wrote:
white blood wrote:we thought of the drug thing too, but we figured we might get in bother ourselves, it would be quality if he got 'the glove' though!

Another classic 'jonny' trick is one we did to someone on a previous lads adventure - our victim was completely bolloxed, unconscious, naked, and conveniently lying on his front on a bed. We got a jonny, unravelled it, and randomly spat in it (I think there was a touch of shaving foam too for effect) then we took a toothbrush and expertly pushed the end a little bit up his arse, then we left two empty beer bottles and a used ashtray (he dosent smoke) on the bed side cabinet and left the room. Imagine how quiet our friend was the next morning, unfortunately we couldn’t contain our giggles and he sussed us out, but we still pinned the photo on the pub notice board when we got back!
I just pray to God you used the handle end of the toothbrush...

thats your second prayer already, are you religious?

CrazyHorse · Post by **CrazyHorse** » Thu May 11, 2006 1:32 pm

white blood wrote:
CrazyHorse wrote:
white blood wrote:we thought of the drug thing too, but we figured we might get in bother ourselves, it would be quality if he got 'the glove' though!

Another classic 'jonny' trick is one we did to someone on a previous lads adventure - our victim was completely bolloxed, unconscious, naked, and conveniently lying on his front on a bed. We got a jonny, unravelled it, and randomly spat in it (I think there was a touch of shaving foam too for effect) then we took a toothbrush and expertly pushed the end a little bit up his arse, then we left two empty beer bottles and a used ashtray (he dosent smoke) on the bed side cabinet and left the room. Imagine how quiet our friend was the next morning, unfortunately we couldn’t contain our giggles and he sussed us out, but we still pinned the photo on the pub notice board when we got back!
I just pray to God you used the handle end of the toothbrush...
thats your second prayer already, are you religious?

No, not at all! Let me rephrase it...
I hope the poor sod didn't have to clean his teeth with the brush end after he'd been violated with it. Then again, that was probably the least of his worries!

Le Snake · Post by **Le Snake** » Fri May 12, 2006 6:35 pm

'Spain' is quite large - care to be a little more specific?

boltonboris · Post by **boltonboris** » Fri May 12, 2006 6:45 pm

Rent him a scooter for the weekend, take down the registration and inform the police of some "reckless foreigner scootin around p*ssed as a fart" hopefully a hollywood style police chase will ensue, your buddy will crap himself and possibly do himself some serious harm...... hahahah.........ermmm...... then you can advise the police afterwards that this wasnt the guy after all! one downside to this is he may actually be drunk with the police collar him then problems will arise

white blood · Post by **white blood** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 12:15 pm

Sorry to drag this up again but its only a week away now and we still havent had much inspiration. we have got him an old ladies dress, marigolds, and wellies to wear to the airport and on the flight, but we still need the piece de resistance stunt for when we are there? any ideas?

white blood · Post by **white blood** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 12:16 pm

Le Snake wrote:'Spain' is quite large - care to be a little more specific?

Benidorm! - of course?