Women as explained by engineers.

superjohnmcginlay · Post by **superjohnmcginlay** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 8:46 am

InsaneApache · Post by **InsaneApache** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 9:24 am

class.

keveh · Post by **keveh** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 9:45 am

The old ones never fail.

Love them.

Gertie · Post by **Gertie** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:27 am

Ooooooooh mean, but very funny...

Anyways when we've had too much to drink:

WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH............
1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.

2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING
OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE
AROUND.

3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND
HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.

4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE
LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO

5. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM
SOOOOO MUCH.

6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A
NEW SONG PLAY'S BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT
TO US.

8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

9. WE YELL AT THE BARMAN, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING
US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE
GIN.

10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE
THE KITCHEN FLOOR (or the mop?)

11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON
IT.

12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT
THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

I'm afraid I'm guilty of lots of these

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:34 am

Gee Gertie. You have to be drunk to do all that? I thought it was jst normal behaviour in women. Only time you can really tell a woman is drunk, the nagging stops for a short time.

CrazyHorse · Post by **CrazyHorse** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:35 am

Gertie wrote:I'm afraid I'm guilty of lots of these

It's not just women Gerts. I can cross one or two (maybe even six or seven) of those off my list too.

Gertie · Post by **Gertie** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:39 am

Oooooooooooh Crazy, can I guess which ones you do???

The crazy dancing, the lying on the kitchen floor, the crying and telling people that you love them??

Tango, surely we don't nag ALL the time, what about when we're asleep or there is a sale on in LK Bennet???

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:41 am

I think all of these over simplify the insanity of women.

superjohnmcginlay · Post by **superjohnmcginlay** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:44 am

communistworkethic wrote:I think all of these over simplify the insanity of women.

I think its the closest we can get though.

CrazyHorse · Post by **CrazyHorse** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:46 am

Gertie wrote:Oooooooooooh Crazy, can I guess which ones you do???

The crazy dancing, the lying on the kitchen floor, the crying and telling people that you love them??

4 out of 4! Not bad.

There are still a few more in there though...
Smoking, cheating barman and the kick someones ass. Plus swap lost purse for lost keys and that'll be the full set.

superjohnmcginlay · Post by **superjohnmcginlay** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:48 am

Gertie wrote: Ooooooooh mean, but very funny...

Anyways when we've had too much to drink:

WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH............
1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.

That seems to happen when youre sober.

Gertie · Post by **Gertie** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:52 am

Well SuperJ,

Why have a dog and bark yourself??

Mackem_and_proud · Post by **Mackem_and_proud** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 1:41 pm

15 Reasons why a Beer is Better Than a Woman:

1. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer

2. When you go to a bar you know you can ALWAYS pick up a beer

3. A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breathe

4. You dont have to wine and dine a beer

5. If you pour a beer right you'll always get a good head

6. Hangovers go away

7. When you're finished with a beer the bottle is still worth 5 pence

8. You dont have to wash a beer before it tastes good

9. A beer always goes down easy

10. You can share a beer with your friends

11. You always know your the first one to pop a beer

12. Beer is always wet

13. A frigid beer is a good beer

14. You can have more than one beer and not feel guilty

15. You can enjoy beer all month long

Gertie · Post by **Gertie** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 1:55 pm

Aaaaaaaaaah but does a beer cook your dinner, wash & iron your clothes, remind you to buy a card for your mum's birthday, renew your passport/car insurance/car tax, laugh at your jokes, have boobs????

You still need us.

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 2:00 pm

Beer don't give blow jobs

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 2:16 pm

Typical feminine behaviour.

On one of those sad days you can't actually get out og going shopping:

She wants a new dress/skirt/shoes/handbag,,,whatever. Goes in first shop, sees something she likes. Great! Buy it and move on? No way, she has to view another dozen shops to find something better. Three hours later she decides shop 1 was the best choice. Goes back, item has been sold. Result: "I'll go on my own next time", as if it's somehow your fault.

Man, same thing. Buys it in first shop and is ready for home, pub,match. Np problem.

I know the Gap diagram said the same thing, but it's happened too many times to be just a joke. It's reality.To women, shopping is heaven. To men, the worst sort of hell.

keveh · Post by **keveh** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 2:27 pm

TANGODANCER wrote:I know the Gap diagram said the same thing, but it's happened too many times to be just a joke. It's reality.To women, shopping is heaven. To men, the worst sort of hell.

I love shopping.

But I have to be on my own or with another guy, because of the reasons you have just given.

picaro · Post by **picaro** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 2:52 pm

keveh wrote:
TANGODANCER wrote:I know the Gap diagram said the same thing, but it's happened too many times to be just a joke. It's reality.To women, shopping is heaven. To men, the worst sort of hell.
I love shopping.

But I have to be on my own or with another guy, because of the reasons you have just given.

i'm with you on this one keveh. shopping rocks

especially if you have a sugar-mama

Bwfc in the bloodline · Post by **Bwfc in the bloodline** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 3:01 pm

Gertie wrote:Aaaaaaaaaah but does a beer cook your dinner, wash & iron your clothes, remind you to buy a card for your mum's birthday, renew your passport/car insurance/car tax, laugh at your jokes, have boobs????

You still need us.

My girlfreind only does two of the things you listed, thats laugh at my terrible jokes. and she has huge boobs. But never the less, ive got a bump deal if your bloke gets all of the above. Do you think i should trade her in for a new one?

CrazyHorse · Post by **CrazyHorse** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 3:07 pm

Bwfc in the bloodline wrote:
Gertie wrote:Aaaaaaaaaah but does a beer cook your dinner, wash & iron your clothes, remind you to buy a card for your mum's birthday, renew your passport/car insurance/car tax, laugh at your jokes, have boobs????

You still need us.
My girlfreind only does two of the things you listed, thats laugh at my terrible jokes. and she has huge boobs. But never the less, ive got a bump deal if your bloke gets all of the above. Do you think i should trade her in for a new one?

Not if she's got huge boobs, no.

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Women as explained by engineers.

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