Dog Owners then.

[coffeymagic]

Two types of people you can't tell ANYTHING to. Smokers and dog owners.

Smokers know the dangers of puffing away 'You've got to die of something' my father-in-law used to tell me. I don't think he thought it would involve blooed pissing out of every hole in his body but there you go. Y'cannae whack a tab.

Likewise dog owners. Dog owners please try and comprehend this little piece of information. I do not want your dog leaping all over me, my kids or my property. I don't want it sniffing my bollocks, I don't want it slavvering all over me and I don't want to sit there while you talk constantly about 'your boys' in lieu of any actual family life.

I can understand why people own cats. You buy a cat you know what you're getting. An animal about this big by this big that eats, shits and occasionally takes a swipe at you if you're tormenting it.

Buy a dog you could be getting anything. A little fecking yappy waste of space that's going to make you a laughing stock every time you take it for a walk or a savager that's only a split second away from tearing your face off.

'Oh, he's a big softie, he's only pla-arrrgh! Arrgh! ARRGH!'

I was walking home from school once when I saw a bloke with a pit bull. The mutt had clamped itself on to the sleeve of the guy's leather jacket and wasn't for letting go. He'd removed the jacket and wats twizzing the hound through the air like a shot putter. It wouldn't let go. When I left he was whacking it against a lampost bu t the dog didn't even feel it.

Every day you'll see a story about some nugget with the time old favourite of 1,000's of years of breeding to kill plus new baby.

What goes through these people's minds? Tearful family members turning up at a house when Tyson (always Tyson) has ripped the throat out of Tysonella.

Can't you see this coming? You're dog is called a PIT BULL TERRIER.

The clue's in the name. Pit (hole in the ground with a) Bull (in it) that's living in Terr(ier)or from this dog. And you want to let it play with a child?

Of course it's not the dog's fault - like I say the animals been bred for fighting and yet you think it's ok to have as a pet?

You muppet. You get all you deserve.

Problem is it's never them is it? Go for a walk on any field and you're up to your ankles in turds, or there's a randy labrador tyring to shaft you or..or...or.

Dogs are ALWAYS doing something to you. Whether it's eat/fornicate or brankrupt you there's never a time when it's just peaceful. Even when it's asleep it's farting out stinks like you've never smelled after a night on Guinness and pork pies.

And why do you need to know every time someone walks past your house?

Four doors up from us they have a Rottweiler (with a 6yr old daughter natch) that flings itself at the window every time you come within 20yards of their drive. It must cost them a fortune in window blinds.

Take that dog out. I don't care what you do with it. Railway line, motorway, river bed just don't come back with it.

My mate's son had a dog that resulted in him getting 20 stitches in his face. The conversation went like this.

'What happened?'
'I was ragging it with a football and it went for me.'
'You'll have to get rid of it.'
'No - cos if it'd do that to me - just think what'd do to a burglar!'

There ladies and gentlemen is your dog owner.

I wrote this in a one-er, I'm not going to re-read it or check it for spelling/grammatical errors I'm just going to press 'submit'. I hope you like it. Half of you will, half of you won't.

I don't care.

Just keep that fecking thing away from me and my family.

[mrkint]

you forgot to sign in as a1

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Only a tiny percentage of dogs are homicidal maniacs. The other 99.9% are just dogs. Get a grip man.

[coffeymagic]

You made me do it! It's just gone 10am on a Mondy morning, I've not even had a cup of tea yet and I'm ready to leap out of the window!

Calm down Coffey lad. Calm down.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

You made me do it! It's just gone 10am on a Mondy morning, I've not even had a cup of tea yet and I'm ready to leap out of the window!

Calm down Coffey lad. Calm down.

You did to yourself. You started it.

[BWFC_Insane]

I'm with Coffey here actually. It's not the dogs that are the problem, it is SOME of the owners. Used to live near (not that near thankfully) some folks who had 5 dogs. The noise from their house and garden was just abysmal. Howling, barking. It was really dreadful. Neighbours moved out (we were just about far enough away to not be too bothered). Police visits were common with complaints about the noise.

Usual answer was "what dya want us to do about it, they're just dogs". And this is the problem. If you have a dog fine. But having one doesn't give you the right to spoil someone else's life in any way. If someone doesn't want to hear a dog barking or howling or see them shitting, they have every right. And as a dog owner you should do sommat about that.

Sadly in my experience a lot don't seem to see it like that.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

I'm with Coffey here actually. It's not the dogs that are the problem, it is SOME of the owners. Used to live near (not that near thankfully) some folks who had 5 dogs. The noise from their house and garden was just abysmal. Howling, barking. It was really dreadful. Neighbours moved out (we were just about far enough away to not be too bothered). Police visits were common with complaints about the noise.

Usual answer was "what dya want us to do about it, they're just dogs". And this is the problem. If you have a dog fine. But having one doesn't give you the right to spoil someone else's life in any way. If someone doesn't want to hear a dog barking or howling or see them shitting, they have every right. And as a dog owner you should do sommat about that.

Sadly in my experience a lot don't seem to see it like that.

[Beefheart]

If I'm in the park and I find a dog invading my personal space I tend to accept it goes with the territory. I remember when I was a kid we were sat on the swings when we saw from a distance this pit bull running straight for us, of course, we legged it. The dog then decided he would bite the seat of the swing and wouldn't let go. The owner of the dog then proceeded to have a go of us for not picking up the swing seats out of reach of his dog.

[BWFC_Insane]

I'm with Coffey here actually. It's not the dogs that are the problem, it is SOME of the owners. Used to live near (not that near thankfully) some folks who had 5 dogs. The noise from their house and garden was just abysmal. Howling, barking. It was really dreadful. Neighbours moved out (we were just about far enough away to not be too bothered). Police visits were common with complaints about the noise.

Usual answer was "what dya want us to do about it, they're just dogs". And this is the problem. If you have a dog fine. But having one doesn't give you the right to spoil someone else's life in any way. If someone doesn't want to hear a dog barking or howling or see them shitting, they have every right. And as a dog owner you should do sommat about that.

Sadly in my experience a lot don't seem to see it like that.

And it's true the same does apply to children or more accurately parents as well. The difference is that a) kids don't usually shit in the street. b) They don't bark c) Don't usually run up and try and jump all over you, or attack the postman.

[Beefheart]

I'm with Coffey here actually. It's not the dogs that are the problem, it is SOME of the owners. Used to live near (not that near thankfully) some folks who had 5 dogs. The noise from their house and garden was just abysmal. Howling, barking. It was really dreadful. Neighbours moved out (we were just about far enough away to not be too bothered). Police visits were common with complaints about the noise.

Usual answer was "what dya want us to do about it, they're just dogs". And this is the problem. If you have a dog fine. But having one doesn't give you the right to spoil someone else's life in any way. If someone doesn't want to hear a dog barking or howling or see them shitting, they have every right. And as a dog owner you should do sommat about that.

Sadly in my experience a lot don't seem to see it like that.

And it's true the same does apply to children as well. The difference is that a) kids don't usually shit in the street. b) They don't bark c) Don't usually run up and try and jump all over you, or attack the postman.

And you never hear of a kid having bitten a dogs face off.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

And it's true the same does apply to children or more accurately parents as well. The difference is that a) kids don't usually shit in the street. b) They don't bark c) Don't usually run up and try and jump all over you, or attack the postman.

Splutter.
I've seen plenty of kids crapping in the street.
They might not bark, but they make horrible loud noises.
They do run up and try and jump all over you, and kick you, and thump you, and then grin like it's fun to assault a stranger and what the fxck are you gonna do about it - especially in pubs: when did pubs become the new creches, fecking parents abandoning their offspring for barstaff and customers to look after while they themselves fxck off for a quiet beer and lounge about in the beergarden, feckless bstard parents.

[BWFC_Insane]

And it's true the same does apply to children or more accurately parents as well. The difference is that a) kids don't usually shit in the street. b) They don't bark c) Don't usually run up and try and jump all over you, or attack the postman.

Splutter.
I've seen plenty of kids crapping in the street.
They might not bark, but they make horrible loud noises.
They do run up and try and jump all over you, and kick you, and thump you, and then grin like it's fun to assault a stranger and what the fxck are you gonna do about it - especially in pubs: when did pubs become the new creches, fecking parents abandoning their offspring for barstaff and customers to look after while they themselves fxck off for a quiet beer and lounge about in the beergarden, feckless bstard parents.

Look I'm sure all those things happen. And it's fecking annoying I agree. But I don't think kids on the whole do those things to the same extent. I also think a child crying in their house is LESS likely to cause disturbance than a dog barking all night in the garden or whatever.

I have no problem with dog owners like my neighbour who is considerate and realises that their dog is their responsibility and not their right to annoy people. And I appreciate most dog owners are like that. But I've come across a siginificant number that think having a dog gives them rights over and above others. Sadly these tend to be the same people who own dangerous breeds of dogs (and I don't get the point or attraction of owning said breeds but anyhow....) or at least big fook off pain in the arse dogs.

On a side note a cat from down the road likes to lie on our drive during the day and in the summer when our cars are there will take refuge in the shade under them. I'm always paranoid about running the bugger over. Can't be good for neighbourhood relations that.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

And it's true the same does apply to children or more accurately parents as well. The difference is that a) kids don't usually shit in the street. b) They don't bark c) Don't usually run up and try and jump all over you, or attack the postman.

Splutter.
I've seen plenty of kids crapping in the street.
They might not bark, but they make horrible loud noises.
They do run up and try and jump all over you, and kick you, and thump you, and then grin like it's fun to assault a stranger and what the fxck are you gonna do about it - especially in pubs: when did pubs become the new creches, fecking parents abandoning their offspring for barstaff and customers to look after while they themselves fxck off for a quiet beer and lounge about in the beergarden, feckless bstard parents.

Look I'm sure all those things happen. And it's fecking annoying I agree. But I don't think kids on the whole do those things to the same extent. I also think a child crying in their house is LESS likely to cause disturbance than a dog barking all night in the garden or whatever.

I have no problem with dog owners like my neighbour who is considerate and realises that their dog is their responsibility and not their right to annoy people. And I appreciate most dog owners are like that. But I've come across a siginificant number that think having a dog gives them rights over and above others. Sadly these tend to be the same people who own dangerous breeds of dogs (and I don't get the point or attraction of owning said breeds but anyhow....) or at least big fook off pain in the arse dogs.

On a side note a cat from down the road likes to lie on our drive during the day and in the summer when our cars are there will take refuge in the shade under them. I'm always paranoid about running the bugger over. Can't be good for neighbourhood relations that.

Thou shalt not kill thy neighbour's cat almost made it in as the eleventh commandment.

[Bijou Bob]

As a dog owner, I try to be responsible I jsut wish my colleagues who are parents could be as considerate. What really pishes me off is those people who come in and have to tell the whole office what funny little thing their darling offspring has done that morning. Every, single, ******** day.

[white blood]

ive a dog and a child. they both bring me enormous happiness. so get f ucked.

[Bijou Bob]

NB Epic rant though. Well done sir

[Lost Leopard Spot]

ive a dog and a child. they both bring me enormous happiness.

That's a perfectly cogent argument that demonstrates what a nicely balanced social individual you are...

so get f ucked.

And then you went and spoiled it all. And with it you've just demonstrated why it is that BWFCi can qualify what he says with "But having one doesn't give you the right to spoil someone else's life in any way".

Me me me me.

[TANGODANCER]

Not sure why taking a wee dog for a walk makes you a laughing stock Coffee? I take a shih-tzu out twice a day, nobody laughs, and even if they should I'd put it down to their own failings, not mine. Dogs are animals and if some are unfortunate enough to get brainless and un-caring owners; not exactly their fault is it? Mark Twain had it about right, "The more I see of man, the more I love my dog"...Anyway, going to have a cigarette now, and later, I'll walk the dog. Live and let live buddy.

You all have a nice day now.

[thebish]

Not sure why taking a wee dog for a walk makes you a laughing stock Coffee? I take a shih-tzu out twice a day, nobody laughs,

i went to a zoo the other day - it only had one dog in it.....

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Not sure why taking a wee dog for a walk makes you a laughing stock Coffee? I take a shih-tzu out twice a day, nobody laughs,

i went to a zoo the other day - it only had one dog in it.....

No no no no no.
This is how it goes:

You: whats the definition of a shih-tzu?
me: I don't know, what is the definition of a shih-tzu?
You: It's only got one animal in it.