General Chit Chat

[Dujon]

I am going to invent a television or computer screen that is measured by width and height, not diagonals. Pythagoras or Euclid (or one of those Mediterranean chappies) has a lot to answer for when it comes to marketing.

Incidentally, I did invent a heated toilet seat. Unfortunately it involved a third party sitting before the owner, which was, apparently, inconvenient for some.

I am currently involved in the development of an AI controlled device that, when a vehicle driver makes a mistake, shouts "DUCK" through the audio system, even if it is turned off. I reckon that should save a few lives.

[Enoch]

Be handy if you could develop a 'bollocks' filter for internet forums.

It would certainly earn its corn!

[Enoch]

I note that the Poles have arrested a Huawei employee on charges of spying.

I wonder where this fits in to the picture.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

I note that the Poles have arrested a Huawei employee on charges of spying.

I wonder where this fits in to the picture.

Diagonally, I presume

[Enoch]

I note that the Poles have arrested a Huawei employee on charges of spying.

I wonder where this fits in to the picture.

Diagonally, I presume

Damn clever them Chinese...

...but shifty with it!

[Enoch]

I now note the Chinks have sacked said employee.

No Sir, nothing to do with us. We don't do that kinda stuff. No way Sir.

[Enoch]

Browsing used cars for a grandchild's first car stumbled across this:

Service history with 7 services from new with the last in April of this year.

Seems like a very fair approach to selling your old wheels.

[Dujon]

Sounds like a mare to me.

[Enoch]

Is it just me, or is Davos uncomfortably close to Davros!

[Enoch]

So Mr Liang Hua, chairman of Huawei Technologies, has said the company might pull out of western countries.

I can see that particular horse galloping through the open gate.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

So Mr Liang Hua, chairman of Huawei Technologies, has said the company might pull out of western countries.

I can see that particular horse galloping through the open gate.

Him, James Dyson, and Kim Jong-un sitting in a restaurant eating genetically modified prawns and fried seaweed in the Democratic People's Republic of Singapore... discussing the next step on the great march forward.

[Hoboh]

Violent crime on the rise by 19% latest figures show, where's Pru when you need him

Hang 'um high, no repeat offenders.

[TANGODANCER]

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/20 ... es-family/

My own views may be a little biased on this topic but, since it's in the national news, any comments?

[Enoch]

My only observation, being as how your average stately home generally passes down the line, it kinda points toward hetrosexual relationships.

I imagine few doubt there's plenty of bumming and bean flicking going on too but don't the boys just take holy orders, or a naval commission and the girls, well, who knows!

[Enoch]

I note the club secretary at FC Nantes took time off from his mourning to serve papers.

It's just business.

[Enoch]

I love, Simon Kemp.

He's so cool.

[Enoch]

The Welsh League of Hope have proscribed boys from participating in the netball tournament at their upcoming National Sports Festival.

Girls, however, are allowed to participate in the football tournament.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

The Welsh League of Hope have proscribed boys from participating in the netball tournament at their upcoming National Sports Festival.

Girls, however, are allowed to participate in the football tournament.

Maybe the boys could self declare themselves transvestites. That way win, win, win. Or possibly lose, win, draw... or draw, draw, win... or lose, lose, win... or...............

[Lost Leopard Spot]

The Welsh League of Hope have proscribed boys from participating in the netball tournament at their upcoming National Sports Festival.

Girls, however, are allowed to participate in the football tournament.

Maybe the boys could self declare themselves transvestites. That way win, win, win. Or possibly lose, win, draw... or draw, draw, win... or lose, lose, win... or...............

Meanwhile in The English League of Despair, Phil Parkinson privately prays for women to join his side.

[Hoboh]

Unrepentant former London schoolgirl, 19, who ran away to join ISIS with two friends flees last-stand battle while 'nine months pregnant with third baby' after two more children died in Syrian warzone and begs to come home

Just rot you mother fcuker and the fcuking idiots on the radio this morning calling for the UK to rescue you.