elvis = shite

[communistworkethic]

the king of rock and roll?? My arse.

I believe he has re-enter the hit parade with "Hard Headed Woman", please do search out a rendition of this track and marvel at how you kno0w the tune exactly, despite believing you'd never ehard this track before.

Then sit back and realise it's fecking "Hound Dog" but with different lyrics! The fat idle fried peanut butter sandwich eating dead on a toilet charlatan!

[boltonboris]

Elvis = Shite

That's what the coroner said

[Batman]

Hovis Presley is miles better

[Bruce Rioja]

Even bigger bag of shite = Elvis impersonators. Let's face it, even Joe Pasquale could do Elvis's singing voice. Even so, you'll note that these impersonators can only impersonate the 'fat-bastard, rhinestone, drug-addled, Vegas period', and never the 'banned from the waist down on American TV' period.

[ratbert]

Hovis Presley is miles better

Erm, was

[Batman]

Still is, even in death

[Bruce Rioja]

Hovis Presley is miles better

Erm, was

Err, would one of you care to explain? I've seen HP a couple of times and have also been fortunate enough to meet him as he's a pal of an old school-pal. I'm concerned!

[Zulus Thousand of em]

Not a nice way to find out Bruce - but there it is.

http://hovispresley.co.uk/

[Batman]

http://hovispresley.co.uk/


First paragraph

[Batman]

As good things go, she went," was a typical ditty from the poet and stand-up comedian Hovis Presley, who has left the building prematurely aged just 44. An unusual and down-to-earth talent, he appealed to audiences of all backgrounds and ages.

Pathologically unambitious, he nevertheless managed to support John Shuttleworth on tour, appear on television on the BBC3 poetry show Whine Gums and Channel 4's stand-up showcase Gas, and broadcast frequently on local and national radio (Mark Radcliffe was a huge fan). He also published a collection of his work, Poetic Off-Licence, in 1993 (updated and reissued in 1997 as Poetic Off-Licence Holiday Annual), to unanimous praise.Born Richard Henry McFarlane in Bolton in 1960, he impressed his teachers so much with an early sketch he had written that they wanted to include it in the end-of-year revue. Reluctant to accept such a public endorsement of his talent, he acquiesced only with the promise of five Curly Wurlys: not for personal consumption, but because they'd make amusing props in the ultimate production of the piece.

At the age of 29 the Bard of Bolton ambled shambolically on to the burgeoning North-West comedy scene, which began at the Buzz Club. He helped set the template for what is now a flourishing circuit alongside such emerging talents as Steve Coogan, Martin Bigpig, Caroline Ahearne and Dave Spikey (who recently described him as the best comedian in the North-West). Peter Kay's homespun lack of pretension and Johnny Vegas's pathos-riddled idiot savant can both trace their lineage directly back to Presley.The immense skill of his lugubrious performance style was that it seemed effortless. Physically reminiscent of Michael Moore after a night asleep in a hedge, he had a crumpled, shabby demeanour that was beguiling because he seemed genuinely unaware that he was funny. As he peppered his poetry with pithy one-liners, his hangdog indifference enabled him to turn outrageous puns into sublime nuggets of genius. He performed his compositions with all the gusto of the cartoon character Droopy on Mogadon:

Trumpets sound,

Doves take flight, Lisa Stansfield sings,

And Bobby Charlton's haircut forms the five Olympic rings

was as excited as he got about the Manchester Olympic bid.

His poems were infused with bittersweet, dry, Northern wit, eschewing the satirical edge and thrusting zeal of his friend John Cooper Clarke in favour of self-effacing humanity.

"I Rely On You", an unromantic yet beautifully humdrum piece, contains such gems as:

I rely on you like a handyman needs pliers

like an auctioneer needs buyers

like a laundromat needs driers

like The Good Life needed Richard Briers.

Presley lost count of the number of couples who requested permission to use the poem in place of traditional wedding vows.After he had successfully straddled the poetry and stand-up scenes for some years, his second Edinburgh Fringe show - 1997's Wherever I Lay My Hat, That's My Hat - looked set to cement his reputation. To no one's surprise but his own, it became a critically lauded sell-out hit, won universal five-star reviews and was tipped to win the Perrier Award. Opening the show by deadpanning, "Well, you could cut the atmosphere with specialist atmosphere-cutting equipment", he was hailed as a genius by The Guardian. The precipice of success had a giddying effect on this most unassuming of men. Presley vanished, and the shows had to be pulled. Concerned for his safety, the police instigated a search, eventually finding him shaken and unwilling, or unable, to perform.For all his insight and on-stage ability, Hovis Presley was an innocent: a shy, selfless man uncomfortable in a world of slick media executives and bogus schmoozing.

Latterly, he promoted smaller, more intimate gigs, mixing poetry, comedy, music and darts matches. It was a disorganised but inclusive approach, far more his style than the increasingly homogenised and corporate comedy clubs that inevitably sprang up in the wake of the circuit's early success.He threw himself into charity functions for no charge, supported experimental performance nights and was a well-liked teacher. As a lifelong football fanatic he was tickled by the fact that one of his students became the Tannoy announcer at his beloved Bolton Wanderers. When teaching a drama module at Salford University he used his influence to facilitate spots for his young charges at comedy clubs like the Frog and Bucket and XS Malarkey, always showing up to lend his support.

He had a large and loyal circle of friends, and had travelled the world extensively. He recently said, "If I'd known life at 44 could be this much fun I wouldn't have spent so much of my teens worrying." Shortly after, he suffered from a heart attack, and, after six weeks in a coma, as good things go, he went.

[TANGODANCER]

Even bigger bag of shite = Elvis impersonators. Let's face it, even Joe Pasquale could do Elvis's singing voice. Even so, you'll note that these impersonators can only impersonate the 'fat-bastard, rhinestone, drug-addled, Vegas period', and never the 'banned from the waist down on American TV' period.

Even worse, never the young rythmn and blues Elvis of Mystery Train, Money Honey, I gotta Woman etc. Elvis was a victim of his own success ; he believed the myth. He could have matured the way Sinatra, Shirley Bassey and Dean Martin did but went down the rhinestone "don't ya know I'm a sex-symbol" path, and whover persuaded him into those womens pyjamas and cloaks wants certifying.

Most of his impersonators are young enough to be his sons and he was dead before most of them knew who he was; and they also believe the myth. It's a disease, be careful not to catch it. He was okay for about ten years then lost it. Took Britney Speers about three years to do the same. Price of fame. Tom Jones went almost the same path, he really did have a voice good enough to sing with choirs and was well respected by the black blues singers (no pun intended). He just couldn't let go of the sex-symbol thing. Waste of a great voice. Good singers only need to stand there and sing. Just my opinion of course.

[Bruce Rioja]

I'd no idea

I last met him two Christmases ago in The Ainsworth. I'd seen him perform a couple of months before hand at Bury Met, he was superb. Whan I met him in The Ainy he was with an old schoolmate of mine, and he just proved to be a one-man stand-up, and one that stood his round to boot. He told me of a weekly comedy night that he was hoping to arrange upstairs in the Balmoral on Bradshawgate. He sent me an envelope with a flier in it addressed to 'Phil's mate (sorry mucker I've forgotten your name) at my address. I didn't go, and assumed that that's why I hadn't heard anything from him since. RIP fella (and no, I don't earn my living by picking the chewing gum from the underside of Bury shop windowledges).

[CrazyHorse]

Even bigger bag of shite = Elvis impersonators. Let's face it, even Joe Pasquale could do Elvis's singing voice. Even so, you'll note that these impersonators can only impersonate the 'fat-bastard, rhinestone, drug-addled, Vegas period', and never the 'banned from the waist down on American TV' period.

Even worse, never the young rythmn and blues Elvis of Mystery Train, Money Honey, I gotta Woman etc. Elvis was a victim of his own success ; he believed the myth. He could have matured the way Sinatra, Shirley Bassey and Dean Martin did but went down the rhinestone "don't ya know I'm a sex-symbol" path, and whover persuaded him into those womens pyjamas and cloaks wants certifying.

Most of his impersonators are young enough to be his sons and he was dead before most of them knew who he was; and they also believe the myth. It's a disease, be careful not to catch it. He was okay for about ten years then lost it. Took Britney Speers about three years to do the same. Price of fame. Tom Jones went almost the same path, he really did have a voice good enough to sing with choirs and was well respected by the black blues singers (no pun intended). He just couldn't let go of the sex-symbol thing. Waste of a great voice. Good singers only need to stand there and sing. Just my opinion of course.

Aye. Plus Jones has reinvented himself to keep it fresh which I'm not sure Elvis ever did. Well, apart from reinventing himself as a cholestorol making machine that is.

[TANGODANCER]

Aye. Plus Jones has reinvented himself to keep it fresh which I'm not sure Elvis ever did. Well, apart from reinventing himself as a cholestorol making machine that is.

With more face lifts than Ruby Wax, Joan Collins and Cher put together. He didn't need any of it if he'd just sung.

[TANGODANCER]

"Thats Alright"......and it was, then.

[CrazyHorse]

Aye. Plus Jones has reinvented himself to keep it fresh which I'm not sure Elvis ever did. Well, apart from reinventing himself as a cholestorol making machine that is.

With more face lifts than Ruby Wax, Joan Collins and Cher put together. He didn't need any of it if he'd just sung.

Aye, fair doos.
Love the fact that it all came out a while back that he's been secretly married for 40 odd years too. Classic!

[TANGODANCER]

Aye. Plus Jones has reinvented himself to keep it fresh which I'm not sure Elvis ever did. Well, apart from reinventing himself as a cholestorol making machine that is.

With more face lifts than Ruby Wax, Joan Collins and Cher put together. He didn't need any of it if he'd just sung.

Aye, fair doos.
Love the fact that it all came out a while back that he's been secretly married for 40 odd years too. Classic!

Been common knowlege for donkeys (no pun) years Hoss. Also well known that his wife's been turning a blind eye for the same length of time to his philandering.

[Batman]

So Mrs Jones, what first attracted you to the millionaire Mr Jones?

[Dave Sutton's barnet]

Even bigger bag of shite = Elvis impersonators. Let's face it, even Joe Pasquale could do Elvis's singing voice. Even so, you'll note that these impersonators can only impersonate the 'fat-bastard, rhinestone, drug-addled, Vegas period', and never the 'banned from the waist down on American TV' period.

Even worse, never the young rythmn and blues Elvis of Mystery Train, Money Honey, I gotta Woman etc. Elvis was a victim of his own success ; he believed the myth. He could have matured the way Sinatra, Shirley Bassey and Dean Martin did but went down the rhinestone "don't ya know I'm a sex-symbol" path, and whover persuaded him into those womens pyjamas and cloaks wants certifying.

Most of his impersonators are young enough to be his sons and he was dead before most of them knew who he was; and they also believe the myth. It's a disease, be careful not to catch it. He was okay for about ten years then lost it. Took Britney Speers about three years to do the same. Price of fame. Tom Jones went almost the same path, he really did have a voice good enough to sing with choirs and was well respected by the black blues singers (no pun intended). He just couldn't let go of the sex-symbol thing. Waste of a great voice. Good singers only need to stand there and sing. Just my opinion of course.

Aye. Plus Jones has reinvented himself to keep it fresh which I'm not sure Elvis ever did. Well, apart from reinventing himself as a cholestorol making machine that is.

The 68 comeback was something of a return to form, but it was the wrong route thereafter.

[Dave Sutton's barnet]

Aye. Plus Jones has reinvented himself to keep it fresh which I'm not sure Elvis ever did. Well, apart from reinventing himself as a cholestorol making machine that is.

With more face lifts than Ruby Wax, Joan Collins and Cher put together. He didn't need any of it if he'd just sung.

Love the fact that it all came out a while back that he's been secretly married for 40 odd years too. Classic!

Been common knowlege for donkeys (no pun) years Hoss. Also well known that his wife's been turning a blind eye for the same length of time to his philandering.

As you'd have to...