Funny Quiz Show Answers

[BWFC_Insane]

Answers from British Quiz Programmes:





*DANNY KELLY SHOW (RADIO WM)
*Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival
every year?
Contestant: I don't know, I need a clue.
Kelly: OK. What do beans come in?
Contestant: Cartons?

*BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
*Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester.

*BBC NORFOLK
*Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don't know.
White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your
hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm.
White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?
Contestant: Strong.
White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant: Louis.
White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song
What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

*LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
*Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?
Contestant: France.
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is
the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris.

*UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
*Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and
'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset
with you.

*THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
*Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all
written books about their experiences in what: prison, or the
Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.

*BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)
*DJ Mark: For Pounds 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

*THE WEAKEST LINK
*Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'J' is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway?

*UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
*Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?

*GWR FM (Bristol)
*Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

*RTE RADIO 2FM (IRELAND)
*Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about
pensioners: Last Of The ....?
Caller: Mohicans.

*QUIZMANIA*
Greg Scott: We're looking for a word that goes in front of 'clock'.
Contestant: Grandfather.
Scott: Grandfather clock is already up there, say something else.
Contestant: Panda.

*PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)
*Phil: What's 11 squared?
Contestant: I don't know.
Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant: Is it five?

*RICHARD AND JUDY
*Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
A: Forrest Gump.

*RICHARD AND JUDY
*Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: Er . . .
Leslie: He makes bread . . .
Contestant: Er . . .
Leslie: He makes cakes . . ..
Contestant: Kipling Street?

*MAGIC 52 (NORTHEAST ENGLAND)
*Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?
Contestant: Erm . . ..
Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964.
Contestant: 1965?

*SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV)
*Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held?
Contestant: Six.
Tufnell: Higher!
Contestant: Five.

*FORT** BOYARD** (CHALLENGE TV)
*Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word - CHED
And PIT.
Team: Chedpit.

*LINCS FM PHONE-IN
*Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

*RADIO 1 EARLY MORNING SHOW
*Presenter: How many toes would three people have in total?
Contestant: 23.

*NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM)
*Jeff Owen: In which country is Mount Everest?
Contestant (long pause): Er, it's not in Scotland, is it?

*THE MICK GIRDLER SHOW (BBC RADIO SOLENT)
*Girdler: I'm looking for an island in the Atlantic whose name includes
the letter 'e'.
Contestant: Ghana.
Girdler: No, listen. It's an island in the Atlantic Ocean.
Contestant: New Zealand.

*NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
*Question: What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant: The Pacific

*ROCK FM (PRESTON)
*Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a
famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

*THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
*Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta.

*JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
*O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... er ... er
... three?

*NATIONAL LOTTERY
*Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and what?
Contestant: Jelly.

*RICHARD ALLINSON SHOW (RADIO 2)
*Allinson: What international brand shares its name with the Greek
goddess of victory?
Contestant (after long deliberation): Erm, Kellogg's?

*BLIND DATE (ITV)
*Girl: Name a book written by Jane Austen.
Boy: Charlotte Bronte.

*CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)
*Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear
that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er ... Mexico?

*DOG EAT DOG (BBC1)
*Ulrika Jonsson: Who wrote Lord of the Rings?
Contestant: Enid Blyton

*PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)
*Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

*NATIONAL LOTTERY
*Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing what?
Contestant: Basketball.

*NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ
*Jeff Owen: Where did the D-Day landings take place?
Contestant (after pause): Pearl Harbour?

*DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
*Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.

*PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
*Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er . . ..
Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . ..
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant: Walked?

*NATIONAL LOTTERY
*Dale Winton: Skegness is a seaside resort on the coast of which sea:a)
Irish Sea, b) English Channel, c) North Sea?
Contestant: Oh, I know that, you can start writing out the cheque now,
Dale. It's on the east coast, so it must be the Irish Sea.

*THE VAULT
*Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the
sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia.

*LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
*Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant: Jewish.
Presenter: That's close enough.

*BREAKFAST SHOW, RADIO 1
*Chris Moyles: Which 'S' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?
Contestant: Ummm . . ..
Moyles: It begins with 'S' and rhymes with 'perm'.
Contestant: Shark.

*STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
*Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging
character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus.