Batman has been to court -now with legal bollocks on p3-

Worthy4England · Post by **Worthy4England** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 2:29 pm

TANGODANCER wrote:
Bruce Rioja wrote:And don't forget to ask the judge if he'd like to buy a copy of The Watchtower.
Now that was pretty smart Brucie.

Looking at the "facts" of the case, you should have this one off pat, just pretend your giving evidence against your favourite Bolton Midfielder....

He drunk, he's been fecking drunk for the best part of two and a half years. He has no fecking spatial awareness, can't drive forwards or back, never wins from a standing start at the lights because he has no fecking pace. He stays in the same lane on the motorways coz he doesn't know how to pass anything, Oh and did I mention he has no positional sense otherwise he wouldn't have hit my fecking car, which although was only at about 10 MPH, is the hardest thing he's hit all season.....

Easy peasy

mummywhycantieatcrayons · Post by **mummywhycantieatcrayons** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 2:50 pm

No need for a suit, smart casual is fine.

Batman · Post by **Batman** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 2:50 pm

might take my camera, and add some choice shots to the TW album

aye im fairly nervous, never done owt like this before

been told take a book to pass the time, as though i've been called for 0930hrs there's no guarantee i'll be home for Diagnosis Murder

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 3:00 pm

Worthy4England · Post by **Worthy4England** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 3:02 pm

Batman wrote:might take my camera, and add some choice shots to the TW album

aye im fairly nervous, never done owt like this before

been told take a book to pass the time, as though i've been called for 0930hrs there's no guarantee i'll be home for Diagnosis Murder

Correct. The solicitor should have an idea whether you're first up or last up for the days running order - they can't/don't actually guarantee that you'll be on tomorrow btw....keep any reciepts for travel etc. you can claim them back along with day subsistence etc.

clapton is god · Post by **clapton is god** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 3:13 pm

In all probability you won't get to make an appearance. You'll be sat outside the court for an hour and then the CPS will come to you and tell you that you can go now. The 'defence' side will be wanting to test you simply to see if you show up. If you don't show then their client gets off scott free but if you do they will throw their hand in and plead guilty. Don't sweat over it.

If you do have to give evidence then the procedure is that the CPS gets to ask you questions first and then the defence gets a go. Just stick to your guns and give positive answers. Don't waffle and say 'I think so' etc.

And don't forget to fill out your expenses sheet and hand it in before the trial.

Batman · Post by **Batman** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 3:27 pm

court is 2mins drive away, so only expenses will be grub and a day off work

Batman · Post by **Batman** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 11:40 am

son of a bitch

2hrs sat in a feckin waiting room

mongaloid pleads guilty after 2 fooking hours, and only gets a fine!!!!

f ucking technicality BOLLOCKS

bobo the clown · Post by **bobo the clown** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 11:48 am

Batman wrote:son of a bitch

2hrs sat in a feckin waiting room

mongaloid pleads guilty after 2 fooking hours, and only gets a fine!!!!

f ucking technicality BOLLOCKS

Did you get his address ? we could firebomb it !!

Batman · Post by **Batman** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 11:52 am

next door neighbour

Worthy4England · Post by **Worthy4England** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 12:13 pm

Batman wrote:son of a bitch

2hrs sat in a feckin waiting room

mongaloid pleads guilty after 2 fooking hours, and only gets a fine!!!!

f ucking technicality BOLLOCKS

-NOT, happens in majority of cases. I think there should be legislation passed that says if you change your plea on the day of the fecking hearing you get double bubble on your punishment and 14 days in the nick for wasting every feckers time.

mummywhycantieatcrayons · Post by **mummywhycantieatcrayons** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 12:49 pm

Worthy4England wrote:
Batman wrote:son of a bitch

2hrs sat in a feckin waiting room

mongaloid pleads guilty after 2 fooking hours, and only gets a fine!!!!

f ucking technicality BOLLOCKS
-NOT, happens in majority of cases. I think there should be legislation passed that says if you change your plea on the day of the fecking hearing you get double bubble on your punishment and 14 days in the nick for wasting every feckers time.

The guidelines say that the sentence should be reduced by no more than a tenth if the guilty plea is "at the door of the court" or after the trial has started.

See midway down page 9: http://www.sentencing-guidelines.gov.uk ... deline.pdf

Batman · Post by **Batman** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 12:51 pm

either way it's f ucked up my day

arsehole

Montreal Wanderer · Post by **Montreal Wanderer** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:09 pm

Batman wrote:either way it's f ucked up my day

arsehole

But you knew that was 99% likely to happen and forewarned, etc.

Batman · Post by **Batman** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:11 pm

yeah but still

i wanted JUSTICE

hes lucky he got home safely on the night, and didnt knock someone down

Bruce Rioja · Post by **Bruce Rioja** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:12 pm

Hey Batty. Did you not find yourself in the dock for being in possession of an offensive suit?

Batman · Post by **Batman** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:14 pm

you never heard of Double Jeopardy?

finlayson · Post by **finlayson** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:50 pm

Does the chap still live next door? I imagine it could be quite awkward if he did!

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:59 pm

finlayson wrote:Does the chap still live next door? I imagine it could be quite awkward if he did!

Aye, especially if he knows Mario Pudzianowski.

americantrotter · Post by **americantrotter** » Mon Jan 07, 2008 2:35 pm

As shitty as it is, count yourself lucky you don't have to go to court about a co-worker who murdered her kids. (Allegedly) That was a part of my 07 that will I'm sure come up again in 08.

Hopefully he paid for your car, as that sentence sucks.

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