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Mar · Post by **Mar** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 3:00 pm

Mof,

Thats quite a freaky thing to have happen if it does actually happen.

Snakes contain the poison to kill there prey, not themselves. The cold blooded nature means that the venom attributed with the common snakebite won't be as affective as if it was in a warm blooded creature (snakes can't regulate there own bodyweight as opposed to being cold blooded), so the poison will take a lot longer to take affect on a snake than it would its prey. The snake also in general carries the anti-venom to its bite in its fangs. You've seen people extracting the cure from snakes fangs to heal poison, well this sort of thing would come naturally for a snake allowing it to counteract the affects of the poison.

This is also the reason why the common territorial snakefight often results in one owning the territory rather than two dead snakes.

(be wary of the two headed snakes..)

mofgimmers · Post by **mofgimmers** » Fri Sep 23, 2005 3:08 pm

Thankyou! A genius you are!

mummywhycantieatcrayons · Post by **mummywhycantieatcrayons** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 11:36 am

Dear Mar,

Why does eating spicy food give one a runny nose?

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 1:47 pm

dear Mar

I've got this lass who just doesn't get football. Just can't comprehend the passion and obsession I have for my beloved whites.

She thinks that my footy pitch door mat, footy-shaped phone, framed signed "white hot" headline t-shirt, signed match balls, Nat Lofthouse signed cigarrette card and 58 cup final programme make me in some way odd.

Trouble is she's a damn fine tup.

what should I do?

communistworkethic

Mar · Post by **Mar** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 5:56 pm

Mummy,

Some of the spicy foods have effects associated with certain parts of the body. In your case the spicy foods have an effect on your sinus' and will cause the body to flush any potential harmful substances within the spicy foods by releasing the fluids in your nose causing them to run. Similarly for particular spicy foods the reaction with my body is it gets too warm causing hot flushes and with that triggers a sort of stinging pains in the upper body. The way I see it, the more you have the spicy foods the less likely your nose is to run because of it. Your body will adapt to the spicy foods and you'll have less of a reaction to it. (p.s. drinking milk will help with the reaction apparently)

http://www.pamf.org/health/toyourhealth ... lergy.html

Mar · Post by **Mar** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:04 pm

CWE,

Many lasses don't understand Football. They look at it and are clueless. Simiarly as blokes we can't understand the fascination of a new pair of shoes or a certain sort of skirt in a certain colour. I wouldn't be too critical of her judging you for it because you know that if she liked a certain colour too much you'd think her a little kooky.

Now you've got a lot of football stuff, putting too much emphasis on them will make you seem a little odd. But thats only because she believes its supposed to be in moderation. We all know what we're thinking of when 3 o'clock comes on Saturday.

Try not to make too big a deal of it and tone it down a little in front of her, but other than that just enjoy the fact that you've got it and got her.

..and then when she leaves the room to go to the toilet. Pull out the 1958 FA Cup replica from under the bed, put on your signed 1958 FA Cup Final Bolton Wanderers kit and hold it aloft and shout 'f'kin YESSSSS!'

Mar · Post by **Mar** » Sat Oct 01, 2005 1:59 pm

Think that may just be a bit too much to ask. But if you're not looking to tone it down maybe you can try and find a bird that is willing to do those sort of things that you like so much. And as for women all being obsessed with pink, just the kooky ones.

mummywhycantieatcrayons · Post by **mummywhycantieatcrayons** » Sat Oct 08, 2005 2:15 am

Mar wrote:Mummy,

Some of the spicy foods have effects associated with certain parts of the body. In your case the spicy foods have an effect on your sinus' and will cause the body to flush any potential harmful substances within the spicy foods by releasing the fluids in your nose causing them to run. Similarly for particular spicy foods the reaction with my body is it gets too warm causing hot flushes and with that triggers a sort of stinging pains in the upper body. The way I see it, the more you have the spicy foods the less likely your nose is to run because of it. Your body will adapt to the spicy foods and you'll have less of a reaction to it. (p.s. drinking milk will help with the reaction apparently)

http://www.pamf.org/health/toyourhealth ... lergy.html

Cheers, I remembered about asking this at a curry house tonight.

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Sun Oct 09, 2005 11:33 am

Mar wrote:Think that may just be a bit too much to ask. But if you're not looking to tone it down maybe you can try and find a bird that is willing to do those sort of things that you like so much. And as for women all being obsessed with pink, just the kooky ones.

I chose to ignore your advice Mar, some may calls this reckless abandon "foolhardy", "irresponsible" or "ill-judged". Suffice to say, Wanderers shirts don't half build up some static.

Don Alonso · Post by **Don Alonso** » Fri Oct 14, 2005 12:32 am

Dear Mar.

No matter how many times I watch the "Flashing Blade" the good looking, talented, anti-hero Don Alonso always ends up being subjected to some fairly amateurish invasive surgery by a foopish French traitor armed with a rapier that results in his untimely, and I'd like to think unwelcome, demise in the penultimate episode.

I should never have offered the French git his sword back after I'd disarmed him. Damned chivalry, it gets you into all sorts of bother.

After 35 years it's beginning to piss me off.

Any suggestions?

Yours, deadly,

Don Alonso
(Deceased)

Mar · Post by **Mar** » Fri Oct 14, 2005 5:58 pm

Don Alonso,

Always look on the bright side of death, just before you take that terminal breath..

Nah, sod that, its been done. Those 'cheeky monty pythonny fellows' can have it.

Here's what you do. Start up a theatre remake of the Flashing Blade promising the original actor who played the foopish french traitor half of what the theatre brings in. Then as soon as you start production tell the cast and crew you're hiring a Spanish director and its being made into a 2 part tv show.

Now rejoice in the remake of the program and when that final scene nears, swap you're slightly sharpened fake sword for the real thing. When it comes about on the scene, mess it up and as soon as the director shouts 'cut', take it literally. Etch away you're on 'Don Alonso' across his chest before 'pretending' you didn't realise it was a 'real' sword.

Now due to you controlling the budget restraints claim the show must go on with the scene intact. Move the body and end up finishing the program off where the Don should be.

Therefore getting revenge on the foolish guy who played Frenchie and setting the story straight.

Don Alonso · Post by **Don Alonso** » Sun Oct 16, 2005 10:38 pm

I'm on it.

Revenge and profit!

Soldier_Of_The_White_Army · Post by **Soldier_Of_The_White_Army** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 8:02 pm

Hi Mar, this isnt a great problem, and certainly wont stop the world from turning but its something that really puzzles me. Why do they post motorway signs on the left hand side of the road? This is something that has bothered me for years. Has anyone else had a sign they need to see, only to miss it due to a huge HGV that has got in the way!!

Cant these people see that if they were to post all signs in the central reservation, both HGV and all other vehicles could see every sign with it getting blocked by HGV's.

So my question is simple, why do they post motorway signs on the left hand side of the road when it would surely be a benifit to all if they were posted in the central reservation?

boltonboris · Post by **boltonboris** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 10:48 pm

communistworkethic wrote:dear Mar

I've got this lass who just doesn't get football. Just can't comprehend the passion and obsession I have for my beloved whites.

She thinks that my footy pitch door mat, footy-shaped phone, framed signed "white hot" headline t-shirt, signed match balls, Nat Lofthouse signed cigarrette card and 58 cup final programme make me in some way odd.

Trouble is she's a damn fine tup.

what should I do?

communistworkethic

Are we seeing the same woman?? or are all women the same?? In a way its a good thing, because she doesnt try to get involved in "a mans game" (sory natasha) so she doesnt mind th bozzy football all dayers and my sunday league moanings about gettin rough treatment from big hairy centre halfs with two and half teeth! all in all it may be a good thing! dont let her touch your football things tho mate! thats bang out!! tell her theres only one set of balls where shes concerned!!

Mar · Post by **Mar** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 3:51 am

Soldier_Of_The_White_Army wrote:Hi Mar, this isnt a great problem, and certainly wont stop the world from turning but its something that really puzzles me. Why do they post motorway signs on the left hand side of the road? This is something that has bothered me for years. Has anyone else had a sign they need to see, only to miss it due to a huge HGV that has got in the way!!

Cant these people see that if they were to post all signs in the central reservation, both HGV and all other vehicles could see every sign with it getting blocked by HGV's.

So my question is simple, why do they post motorway signs on the left hand side of the road when it would surely be a benifit to all if they were posted in the central reservation?

I'm under the impression there are a few reasons that this has been done in this way. Here are a few:

It forces drivers to filter into the left hand lane stopping people making rash decisions on the motorway when deciding to turn off.
People reading English immediately look to the top left of the page when reading, its where your eye has been trained to focus and it is where your brain will cause your eyes to look first.
In the olden days there used to be only country roads and it saved money putting it to the left rather than covering the top of the road.

ratbert · Post by **ratbert** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 11:47 am

Mar,

I am told there is more than one way to skin a cat. Which other ways are there, and which is most effective?

(My friend Mr Aziz of Kings Heath Curry Emporium is especially keen to hear your answer)

Mar · Post by **Mar** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 2:30 pm

I've already answered this on page 2, but here it is again..

The most commonly used technique is to grab by the legs and then wait till it stops moving (either that or a quick snap of the neck). Followed by a slight incision down its belly to its mouth with a scapel and then it should peel off, but you have to remove the insides that connect it together, few slices with the knife aswell. Which'll leave you with a nice pelt.

Note: thats the technique to skinning a bison, I should imagine it would work with other things to, but seeing as i haven't tried it you never know. Plus if you try it with something big enough, you can turn it into the outside of a boat. (watching someone make a boat out of a bison and a few twigs is something that stays with ya ).

Bruce Rioja · Post by **Bruce Rioja** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 3:23 pm

Dear Mar

The man that invented the drawing board. What did he go back to when he made a bollocks of it?

Zulus Thousand of em · Post by **Zulus Thousand of em** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 4:45 pm

LMFAO!

Soldier_Of_The_White_Army · Post by **Soldier_Of_The_White_Army** » Fri Nov 04, 2005 10:07 pm

Mar wrote:
Soldier_Of_The_White_Army wrote:Hi Mar, this isnt a great problem, and certainly wont stop the world from turning but its something that really puzzles me. Why do they post motorway signs on the left hand side of the road? This is something that has bothered me for years. Has anyone else had a sign they need to see, only to miss it due to a huge HGV that has got in the way!!

Cant these people see that if they were to post all signs in the central reservation, both HGV and all other vehicles could see every sign with it getting blocked by HGV's.

So my question is simple, why do they post motorway signs on the left hand side of the road when it would surely be a benifit to all if they were posted in the central reservation?

I'm under the impression there are a few reasons that this has been done in this way. Here are a few:

It forces drivers to filter into the left hand lane stopping people making rash decisions on the motorway when deciding to turn off.

When drivers who have missed signs due to HGV's see their last and final sign for their turnoff, surely this is when drivers panic and accidents happen, expecially when drivers move into the middle lane from the third one only to find two HGV's trying to overtake each other.

People reading English immediately look to the top left of the page when reading, its where your eye has been trained to focus and it is where your brain will cause your eyes to look first.

I take it by your indication that the fact drivers read from the top left of a sign means the sign should without doult be on the left hand side of the road!! Im sorry Mar but this simply fuels my point that it does not matter which point of a sign a person reads from if there is a huge bloody HGV in the way!! (something that would not happen if all signs were presented on the central reservation).

In the olden days there used to be only country roads and it saved money putting it to the left rather than covering the top of the road.

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