Ask Mar

[born_2_be_a_wanderer]

Mar........ how do i get rid of a nagging knee injury i have had since you kicked me at football training.................

please respond instantly as we have a big game this weekend!!!!

[Mar]

B2BAW,






Theres a few things i'll need to know..

1. Where the injury point is on that diagram
2. What movements make the pain flare up
and
3. The extent of the injury (whether it stops movement / walking pains, etc).

Using this might also help but it is for cartilidge injuries, (RICE = rest, ice, compression and elevation)



Any experience with inside of the ankle injuries? I twisted my left foot back last time I came training and have played football all of twice since with it flairing up on both occassions.

(Oh, and btw sorry 'bout the injury)

[Bench]

What is the best way of skinning a cat? I ask only for future reference.

[Mar]

Bench,

The most commonly used technique is to grab by the legs and then wait till it stops moving (either that or a quick snap of the neck). Followed by a slight incision down its belly to its mouth with a scapel and then it should peel off, but you have to remove the insides that connect it together, few slices with the knife aswell. Which'll leave you with a nice pelt.

Note: thats the technique to skinning a bison, I should imagine it would work with other things to, but seeing as i haven't tried it you never know. Plus if you try it with something big enough, you can turn it into the outside of a boat. (watching someone make a boat out of a bison and a few twigs is something that stays with ya ).

[Bench]

Bench,

The most commonly used technique is to grab by the legs and then wait till it stops moving (either that or a quick snap of the neck). Followed by a slight incision down its belly to its mouth with a scapel and then it should peel off, but you have to remove the insides that connect it together, few slices with the knife aswell. Which'll leave you with a nice pelt.

Note: thats the technique to skinning a bison, I should imagine it would work with other things to, but seeing as i haven't tried it you never know. Plus if you try it with something big enough, you can turn it into the outside of a boat. (watching someone make a boat out of a bison and a few twigs is something that stays with ya ).

Strange how you adopt the 'skinning of a bison' for my conundrum there Mar. In fact, is it actually possible to hold up a bison with your strength alone? I'm not entirely sure. However, I digress. I do believe that there is more than one way to skin said cat. If this is the best way, what are the other less efficient methods?

[burnden58]

I like this thread.

Mar, I think I am in love with my next door neighbour, I've done the old 'leaning on the fench when she's in the garden' bit, I've posted anonymous letters of affection through her letter box etc

Can you help? ( I've not told my wife yet, do you think I should tell her?)

[Mar]

Bench,

(you lift up the bisons hind legs allowing access to the skin as it strengthens for a neat incision, not the full bison)

sure there are less-efficient methods..

Cheese-grater, let your partner do this one, otherwise you'll be there for a while, she'll be there for longer.

Knife in cat flap, u have to scare the cat first, i cannot stress this enough. Otherwise you end up with a very effective doorstop.

The automatic sander, quick, effective and it'll remove a rash in a flash.

The butcher, it'll cost you a bit, but you'll have clean hands and a doggy bag to take home any leftovers.

[Mar]

Burden,

If youre infatuation has gone far enough to get you posting letters through the door then you're probably at the stage where you probably should tell your wife before she finds you brushing up against the fence moaning.

Don't tell her enough to scare her of course as she means a lot to you (i imagine, otherwise ya wouldn't have married her), just tell her enough to get communication going so you can get it out of your system and hopefully look forward to getting that sort of spark back with your missus.

Telling her can put a strain on your relationship but being open will probably see you strengthening it, so it could go either way, depending on your wife.

If you are looking to get it out of your system without telling her, then try new things, like hiding postet notes around the house starting under her pillow and leading to some chocolates or something. Pack of postet notes £1, box of chocolates £2, watching your wifes face light up, probably worth it.

Just try it for a while, if planning these and watching your wifes reaction doesn't take the next door neighbour off your mind then ask me again, i'll provide some more tidbits for ya. Failing that i've got tonnes of placebo's.

[burnden58]

Thanks, I'll try that tonight, i'm off to the co-op for some chocs

[Careh]

Mar,

I have had sex with one of my mates mothers (true). Should I tell the son? and/or my mates?

[Mar]

Depends on the woman and how tactful you wanna play it.

Tactfully you keep your friend, boned his mum and a potential funny story when he's not about.
Less tact, you get bragging rights a potential lost friend and probably a good set of bruises.
Very tactless, you lose a friend, a damn good beating, a photo album £10 for another night with his mum. Oh, an a mint under the pillow.

If you are going to tell them, then do it in a better way than 'hehe i did ur mom' or when having an argument 'your mother' or something equally as tactless.

As long as you can hold your tongue in a drunken stupor or in an argument (or both) then I don't see any reason why they should know.

If you are gonna tell your friends then its better not done using bragging rights (or the opposite depending on the mom), thats taking into consideration you still wanna keep the friend.

Either way, if the mum is likely to tell the son then you're better off letting her do it than yourself. He'll probably like you less if you actually start a conversation with his mum and sex involved, as its not the choice topic for anyone (other than southern americans).

[mofgimmers]

Dear Mar

I'm concerned with the recent brou-ha-ha surrounding Kylie Minogue's breast cancer scare. Now i know that it isn't a nice thing to happen to ANYONE, but my point is, no-one seems bothered that a certain Jeremy Beadle has been recently diagnosed with Luekemia.

How can i direct people towards his plight, and maybe earn him a knighthood?

[Mar]

Ah if only Lukaemia was a boob related disease and if only Beadle was sexy.

Sadly though neither are true and it is probably the reason why he's not getting much press attention.

You're already directing people towards his plight, for example, i didn't know, and many that read this will also be clued in. Good goin, keep this up and his troubles will be shared.

As for a knighthood, there are plenty lying around camelot.

[bwfc...sue :o)]

Mar
What is the secret to eternal youth? My brain refuses to grow up and act responsilble, am afraiid my body has an other motives!
have heard that drinking ones own urine is good for the complexion, is this advisable???? Or is someone just taking the piss out of me?
Please help me....im becoming a prisoner within my own body!!!!! HHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!!!

[Mar]

Sue,

As far as feeling young and being young it is important to realise that the most important thing is to feel young rather than look it. Start dieting, not one of those lose weight diets, but one that will make you feel better (not fatty foods), stuff like fresh fish and specific vegetables that have been known to improve a persons mental wellbeing.

One of the worst things about being old is the feeling that you are old. Youth is where you never contemplate how old you are in a bad way and it reflects on your happiness, each time you are looking at your age its done under the impression society has given it, which is detrimental to how you feel and continues in a cycle of negativity (certain cultures don't consider age to be a bad thing and that reflects in their eldars). The less you worry about it and the more you concentrate at enjoying yourself the better you'll feel and the younger you'll feel.

Another major thing to take into consideration is sex drive. It diminishes with age and is sometimes not seen as a bad thing but it is a definite contributor to mental happiness. While you're body won't be as willing as it used to be, it is important to note that part of youth is always being distracted by sex and getting it. It is also by far the best way to alleviate stress. See if you can sort your sex drive out to being something that is not only interesting but new, try different things to open up a host of new opportunities to yourself to take your mind off age related matters. I'm not talking around the clock but just simply picking up of certain items like a set of rose petals to cover the bed with (american beauty (class film)) or something equally as different to youre nightly routine.

The anticipation of something happening thats new and exciting and stress relieving as you can make it will pay dividends to your mental happiness and how young you feel.





On a lesser note..



Apparently urine content is actually good for you, whether or not its effective enough to make you take the plunge is up to you. There are recognised healing content in Urea which is found in urine that allows for a natural healing process.

It is also recommended that you don't drink someone elses, so if someone else is taking the piss out of you, make sure you flush it .

My suggestion to you is go with your instinct when it comes to messing with urine. But I recommend taking a look at some help sites if you are, like so:
http://www.wfmu.org/LCD/19/urine.html

Its also known as an aphrodisiac believe it or not, apparently a certain tribe drinks baboon piss to stimulate its members sex drive. Personally, I'll stick with a good bottle of wine, a fireplace an a lovely lady.

[bwfc...sue :o)]

Mar
I live alone with my children, could you please explain how by putting rose petals on my bed would help with my sex drive...ha ha! What the hell is that gonna do for me, its not bloody flowers i need!!!!!
You are a very well educated person, a minefield of information, and am sure you can come up with a solution.

[Mar]

While I wrote the one above I considered the possibility of you living with just your children. But still I found it fitting to write what I did.

Basically, roses offer a certain smell to an overly familiar environment. Basqueing in new smells and differing changes in your bedroom environment will take away that aspect of sleeping alone and replace it with a more comfortable environment to introduce others too.

As a result of this you'll feel better when approaching people with that aim in mind.


Try cutting down on bad habits such as smoking/drinking/etc, basically anything that induces bad smells, this will over time improve your sense of smell and taste and make you feel happier and more willing for change, especially where smoking is concerned. As far as drinking goes, the more sociable drinking the better.

Special events for charitys like Cancer or Luekemia (mr. beadle ) are a good start as they are often held in local pubbish environments and there are a wide variety of people there for you to mix with and there are regulars, plus its also a great excuse to take friends to accompany you if you are feeling unsure as to whether or not you should go. Sharing tables is better too.



For the roses on the bed thing, don't use special sprays or anything like that. While they may smell nice they won't make you feel all too different. The idea of picking something like a set of flowers or something fresh is a lot better mentally than using an artificial solution as its more a state of mind than a certain sense that you're wanting to achieve, this applies to the whole house aswell.

For the most part just try freshening up different aspects of your lifestyle and it should pay dividends.

[bwfc...sue :o)]

So is there an up and coming charity event for Mr. Beadle?
Also...what if i suffer from hayfever?
Would you be intersted in becoming my therapist? Think your top!

[Mar]

Sue,

I'm not too sure if there is an upcoming charity for mr. beadle, but you should watch out, he is about.

If you suffer from hayfever try having things that look nice but are simple instead. Try getting a lot of fresh air to the room and maybe some fake plants for show.

Would you be intersted in becoming my therapist? Think your top!

Careful, you'll inflate my head. I've seen what happens, its not pretty, take Robert Earnshaw for example.

[bwfc...sue :o)]

comedy value on here is fantastic...better than a satday neet owt in bowton!