Ask Mar
Moderator: Zulus Thousand of em
-
Soldier_Of_The_White_Army
- Legend
- Posts: 7042
- Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2005 10:36 am
- Location: HULL, BABY!
- Contact:
-
dioufs nbr 1 fan
- Hopeful
- Posts: 25
- Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2005 5:28 pm
- Location: Bolton
- Contact:
Re: Ask Mar
okay, here goes nothing.Mar wrote:Having problems, come share it with thewanderer and Ask Mar...
About a year and a half ago, something happened which turned my life kind of upside-down (the event still galls me, so I'd rather not write it down. suffice to say though that I was not to blame).
I lost all of my friends overnight (i didn't have lots, but "you don't know what you've got, till it's gone"), and it really shook me. more than i thought it could. I've never really felt like i needed anyone around me and although these were not all 'best'-friends to me, there were some who i was really close to. I'd known one of them almost all my life. Closest thing I've ever had to a brother now I come to think of it. Sounds cheesy, I know.
I've always had a problem with stress and worrying about various things, but after this happened I got really depressed. I have been ever since, I think. Sometimes it's worse than others and i've coped on and off.
Now i've got a whole new bunch of friends. I can't imagine the same thing happening again because of the nature of what happened, but all the same I find myself reluctant to let people in to far. I keep them all at a distance just in case they turn on me. Leave me alone again.
I guess it's the same as with my dad. My parents split up when I was quite young and although I don't remember him living with us, I still remember him being there. He saw us regularly but my relationship was always distant with him and I regretted it until about two months ago. when he forgot my twenty-first birthday. I haven't cried in some time, but that's the closest i've come to tears. I haven't spoken to him since.
I guess I just needed to tell somebody all this. Get it off my chest, and out of my head. I won't be able to sort things out till I've written it down, so there it is.
Thanks.
Xeus,
Its often a cold winter spent naked in Russia before some people admit to needing people. But we all do. We all seek touch and affection from those around us. Its the nature of life as human beings. Whether you get it from your immediate family, your friends or online doesn't matter we're all basically searching for the same things.
Problem is, we all tend to lose sight of the things that matter and in time tend to lose contact with those who once meant a lot to us. We lose best mates as we grow further apart and end up resting on our laurels knowing things won't be the same but cherishing what we once had.
But its often harder to forget than it is to forgive. We go around nuturing the inner turmoil thats left better resolved. Take your father for instance. He messed up, you know he messed up and rather than getting to grips with it and getting over it, you're left punishing yourself and him for something that doesn't matter all that much.
21st birthdays are a day marked on the calendar to sell cards and have a great pissup before settling into a life of hardships and grafting. Yet you've taken it upon yourself to removing the one thing that actually mattered to you. You and you're father didn't have a relationship where he knew it meant that much to you and he didn't remember for whatever reason. Yet rather than trying to establish the sort of relationship you wanted in the first place, you've set about removing the entire thing over something that pales in comparison.
I know it seems bad on reflection but the reasons were there and you did what you felt was right.
Now i'm not saying forget about the incident, but there's no point in holding a grudge and losing your father over it. There's always something to be said about having parity for parities sake. Every family has there problems and its how they go about overcoming these problems which defines them.
I seriously recommend restoring some parity with your father and then allowing yourself to judge what sort of relationship you would like. You should not be punishing yourself for societies expectations of a father figure that he hasn't lived up to. We all have flaws, that was one of his. There's no such thing as a superdad, but the easier you find forgiving him for his flaws and his failures, the more and more it becomes apparent that he's a better bloke than you're willing to admit.
I'd recommend doing the same with your friends but you've given me very little to work with as far as thats concerned.
Better to maintain some sort of parity than dwell on the things that are weighing on your mind.
Its often a cold winter spent naked in Russia before some people admit to needing people. But we all do. We all seek touch and affection from those around us. Its the nature of life as human beings. Whether you get it from your immediate family, your friends or online doesn't matter we're all basically searching for the same things.
Problem is, we all tend to lose sight of the things that matter and in time tend to lose contact with those who once meant a lot to us. We lose best mates as we grow further apart and end up resting on our laurels knowing things won't be the same but cherishing what we once had.
But its often harder to forget than it is to forgive. We go around nuturing the inner turmoil thats left better resolved. Take your father for instance. He messed up, you know he messed up and rather than getting to grips with it and getting over it, you're left punishing yourself and him for something that doesn't matter all that much.
21st birthdays are a day marked on the calendar to sell cards and have a great pissup before settling into a life of hardships and grafting. Yet you've taken it upon yourself to removing the one thing that actually mattered to you. You and you're father didn't have a relationship where he knew it meant that much to you and he didn't remember for whatever reason. Yet rather than trying to establish the sort of relationship you wanted in the first place, you've set about removing the entire thing over something that pales in comparison.
I know it seems bad on reflection but the reasons were there and you did what you felt was right.
Now i'm not saying forget about the incident, but there's no point in holding a grudge and losing your father over it. There's always something to be said about having parity for parities sake. Every family has there problems and its how they go about overcoming these problems which defines them.
I seriously recommend restoring some parity with your father and then allowing yourself to judge what sort of relationship you would like. You should not be punishing yourself for societies expectations of a father figure that he hasn't lived up to. We all have flaws, that was one of his. There's no such thing as a superdad, but the easier you find forgiving him for his flaws and his failures, the more and more it becomes apparent that he's a better bloke than you're willing to admit.
I'd recommend doing the same with your friends but you've given me very little to work with as far as thats concerned.
Better to maintain some sort of parity than dwell on the things that are weighing on your mind.
-
knobpolisher
- Reliable
- Posts: 687
- Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2005 1:52 pm
- Location: Sunny Southport
IMO set peices are categorised as Direct and In-Direct. Try not to get confused with the terminology relating to free kicks.
In the Direct Set Peice, the ball ends up in the back of the net as a result of the player heading/volleying/clumsily knocking the ball into the back of the net. Other contact can be made with the ball as long as the ball is still travelling towards the net (such as deflections, parries, o.g.'s).
In the Indirect Set Peice, the ball ends up in the back of the net as a result of the problems attributed with so many people being in the oppositions half. E.g. N'Gotty goes up for the free kick, Speed crosses in, Delaney heads away, falls to Stelios outside of the box, he crosses in for Diouf to head home. Diouf scores the goal because Delaney was marking N'Gotty therefore not marking Diouf as well as he could. The man advantage caused by the extra players being within the box can indirectly be attributed to assisting in the goal as it allowed Diouf to receive the free header. Anytime the scoring team receives a boon from the set-peice can be considered an Indirect Set Peice goal.
And thats the way I think it works. Set peices end when the attacking team stop getting a benefit from the set peice.
In the Direct Set Peice, the ball ends up in the back of the net as a result of the player heading/volleying/clumsily knocking the ball into the back of the net. Other contact can be made with the ball as long as the ball is still travelling towards the net (such as deflections, parries, o.g.'s).
In the Indirect Set Peice, the ball ends up in the back of the net as a result of the problems attributed with so many people being in the oppositions half. E.g. N'Gotty goes up for the free kick, Speed crosses in, Delaney heads away, falls to Stelios outside of the box, he crosses in for Diouf to head home. Diouf scores the goal because Delaney was marking N'Gotty therefore not marking Diouf as well as he could. The man advantage caused by the extra players being within the box can indirectly be attributed to assisting in the goal as it allowed Diouf to receive the free header. Anytime the scoring team receives a boon from the set-peice can be considered an Indirect Set Peice goal.
And thats the way I think it works. Set peices end when the attacking team stop getting a benefit from the set peice.
-
Batman
-
Frankie Wanderer
- Hopeful
- Posts: 131
- Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2005 6:57 pm
LoL, Batty.Batman wrote:Mar,
what is the best way to cook a bacon sarnie. i prefer a bit of cheese, ketchup and mustard, and i find that most satisfactory, especially when the bacon is crispy.
could you comment on this?
Mar when you have replied I will be sure to get Miss F to follow you exact instructions.......
and should you find yourself down "Frankie - Way" you can come and sample Miss F´s efforts with your recommendations
Frankie says " on the day that your mentality catches up with your biology, come round. "
Batman,
The best way to cook a bacon sarnie is seperately. Everything (barring the cheese) needs to be made in a way that not only matches the desired texture that makes a good sarnie but also to highlight the individual flavours of the bacon.
You need to have the right ingredients before starting the proper bacon barm. There is quite a range of bread and don't believe that just because its white its right. Hovis, Warbies, etc. We all have our favourites but the best bread i've tasted was from Marks and Spencers (its wierd because its like the only time i've actually bought anything from that overpriced place). Anyway, the bread was of a squish texture. As bread goes stale the more and more it turns into a green sort of mush. Fresh bread usually helps with a little bit of tweaking.
You need proper bacon too. None of the really thin stuff that falls apart when cooking. I prefer the thicker stuff. It only requires one slice of bacon to be put on the sandwich and it makes it less crispy. If you like the crispy, I suggest you try the same method with the thinner bacon.
Ingredients:
2 slices of fresh bread of preference.
1 slice of thick bacon or 2 slices of thin bacon.
1 block of cheese.
(Ketchup & Mustard are optional)
Instruments:
Cheese grater.
Pan & Hob.
Grill.
Tin foil.
Deep fat frier (just kidding)
Method:
Take your fresh bread. Put it on the tin foil covered tray that goes under the grill. Now be very careful here. Bread goes toasty very quickly and getting the mix right without bronzing up the bread makes things very difficult. You have to aim for completely white but strong bread. Sort of like you know its hardened up under the grill but hasn't affected any of the taste of the bread too much. Take the bread out when it reaches this stage to allow the bread to harden and prevent soggyness later.
Take the cheese grater and the block of cheese. Your making small strips of cheese here. Pick the hole you want to create the size of cheese and grate accordingly. When you're happy with the amount of cheese and the size of cheese, turn your attention to the bacon.
With the bacon, cook as normal on the hob. When cooking, aim for midrange, don't over do it or under do it. Make sure its cooked though and making that sweet smell and sizzling. When you finish cooking the bacon, take out, place on the tin foil and take the strips of cheese. Sprinkle the cheese on the bacon and place under the grill, enough for the cheese to wrap itself around the bacon and give you a mixed texture. Don't leave it too long or the cheese will lose its texture. Take it out and place between the slices.
Apply ketchup/mustard accordingly and eat. I prefer without when cheese is on, but if ketchups your preference then I recommend trying both.
There you have, my bacon sarnie (as cooked on open top flame at home, in the woods of kearsley and Wales (Tastes sooo much better when you have to wait half an hour for it)). Mmmmmm.
The best way to cook a bacon sarnie is seperately. Everything (barring the cheese) needs to be made in a way that not only matches the desired texture that makes a good sarnie but also to highlight the individual flavours of the bacon.
You need to have the right ingredients before starting the proper bacon barm. There is quite a range of bread and don't believe that just because its white its right. Hovis, Warbies, etc. We all have our favourites but the best bread i've tasted was from Marks and Spencers (its wierd because its like the only time i've actually bought anything from that overpriced place). Anyway, the bread was of a squish texture. As bread goes stale the more and more it turns into a green sort of mush. Fresh bread usually helps with a little bit of tweaking.
You need proper bacon too. None of the really thin stuff that falls apart when cooking. I prefer the thicker stuff. It only requires one slice of bacon to be put on the sandwich and it makes it less crispy. If you like the crispy, I suggest you try the same method with the thinner bacon.
Ingredients:
2 slices of fresh bread of preference.
1 slice of thick bacon or 2 slices of thin bacon.
1 block of cheese.
(Ketchup & Mustard are optional)
Instruments:
Cheese grater.
Pan & Hob.
Grill.
Tin foil.
Deep fat frier (just kidding)
Method:
Take your fresh bread. Put it on the tin foil covered tray that goes under the grill. Now be very careful here. Bread goes toasty very quickly and getting the mix right without bronzing up the bread makes things very difficult. You have to aim for completely white but strong bread. Sort of like you know its hardened up under the grill but hasn't affected any of the taste of the bread too much. Take the bread out when it reaches this stage to allow the bread to harden and prevent soggyness later.
Take the cheese grater and the block of cheese. Your making small strips of cheese here. Pick the hole you want to create the size of cheese and grate accordingly. When you're happy with the amount of cheese and the size of cheese, turn your attention to the bacon.
With the bacon, cook as normal on the hob. When cooking, aim for midrange, don't over do it or under do it. Make sure its cooked though and making that sweet smell and sizzling. When you finish cooking the bacon, take out, place on the tin foil and take the strips of cheese. Sprinkle the cheese on the bacon and place under the grill, enough for the cheese to wrap itself around the bacon and give you a mixed texture. Don't leave it too long or the cheese will lose its texture. Take it out and place between the slices.
Apply ketchup/mustard accordingly and eat. I prefer without when cheese is on, but if ketchups your preference then I recommend trying both.
There you have, my bacon sarnie (as cooked on open top flame at home, in the woods of kearsley and Wales (Tastes sooo much better when you have to wait half an hour for it)). Mmmmmm.
-
Montreal Wanderer
- Immortal
- Posts: 12940
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 12:45 am
- Location: Montreal, Canada
I believe that when in Rome one should do as the Romans so, as a newcomer to TW, I try to understand the mores of the board and do nothing to offend. Thus, when I see posters use terms like “Japs” (racist in today’s politically correct world) I say nothing. When I see double standards applied I am also silent. An example of this might be the dictum against making personally offensive remarks to members, but does not seem to apply to people like fanz of whom it appears anything can be said (fanz seems to have had an unfortunate experience during toilet training and never really recovered). We are also asked not to correct people’s spelling. We all understand that typos occur in forums like this, but when a word is so consistently misspelled that others begin using the error it becomes very painful to those who love the language. In particular, I find myself (on a daily basis) wanting to scream: “There is no ‘a’ in ‘definitely’!” What should I do, Mar?
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
Monty,
1. You should definately consider hunting down those people who use the spell 'definitely' wrong and sort them out.
2. Sort them out good ol' Jap fashion.
3. Maybe then we can all go down to the local, pick on the nearest hobo.
5. Attribute as many racist remarks you can think.
6. Strive to change things in the world using military dictatorship.
7. Proving once and for all the only way to get things done is to napalm the area and clean up afterwards.
Or maybe, just maybe. You could take what I just said with a pinch of salt. Disregard the use of Jap, the missing 4 in the list and the mispelt version of 'definitely' and understand that forums are littered with illiterate people who shouldn't be writing for the media. After all, if we all got hung up on the original definitions of words we wouldn't be seeing the likes of 'color' or the overuse of 'z' in the American diction.
So, sit back, put your feet up and be grateful you're not having to put up with speaking to some illiterate f**kwit when you can completely ignore whatever they're saying by scrolling past there name in the threads.
1. You should definately consider hunting down those people who use the spell 'definitely' wrong and sort them out.
2. Sort them out good ol' Jap fashion.
3. Maybe then we can all go down to the local, pick on the nearest hobo.
5. Attribute as many racist remarks you can think.
6. Strive to change things in the world using military dictatorship.
7. Proving once and for all the only way to get things done is to napalm the area and clean up afterwards.
Or maybe, just maybe. You could take what I just said with a pinch of salt. Disregard the use of Jap, the missing 4 in the list and the mispelt version of 'definitely' and understand that forums are littered with illiterate people who shouldn't be writing for the media. After all, if we all got hung up on the original definitions of words we wouldn't be seeing the likes of 'color' or the overuse of 'z' in the American diction.
So, sit back, put your feet up and be grateful you're not having to put up with speaking to some illiterate f**kwit when you can completely ignore whatever they're saying by scrolling past there name in the threads.
-
mofgimmers
- Reliable
- Posts: 987
- Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:54 am
- Location: Burnden Paddock
-
mummywhycantieatcrayons
- Legend
- Posts: 7192
- Joined: Fri Jun 03, 2005 12:31 pm
- Location: London
Don't rise to it Monty!Mar wrote:So, sit back, put your feet up and be grateful you're not having to put up with speaking to some illiterate f**kwit when you can completely ignore whatever they're saying by scrolling past there name in the threads.
It gets to me to me too, but as Mar says, we should probably just try and look past it. We have some excellent posters on here whose spelling is quite bad, but more than adequate for them to get some good points across. I'm sure Soldier won't mind my using him as an example: he's a very well respected poster, but insists on spelling 'sense' with a 'c'.
Prufrock wrote: Like money hasn't always talked. You might not like it, or disagree, but it's the truth. It's a basic incentive, people always have, and always will want what's best for themselves and their families
-
Montreal Wanderer
- Immortal
- Posts: 12940
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 12:45 am
- Location: Montreal, Canada
I am familiar with soldier's spelling (I use the word loosely) but he plays quotes on Friday so is above criticism.mummywhycantieatcrayons wrote:Don't rise to it Monty!Mar wrote:So, sit back, put your feet up and be grateful you're not having to put up with speaking to some illiterate f**kwit when you can completely ignore whatever they're saying by scrolling past there name in the threads.
It gets to me to me too, but as Mar says, we should probably just try and look past it. We have some excellent posters on here whose spelling is quite bad, but more than adequate for them to get some good points across. I'm sure Soldier won't mind my using him as an example: he's a very well respected poster, but insists on spelling 'sense' with a 'c'.
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
-
Soldier_Of_The_White_Army
- Legend
- Posts: 7042
- Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2005 10:36 am
- Location: HULL, BABY!
- Contact:
I must admit I do suffer from slight dyslexia, mostly with words that look the same but have different meanings, for example: sense/sence forward/farward. As an NCO in the Army I am classed as middle management and considered to have an above average intellect. This I am sure is the same with alot of the site members who struggle at times with their spelling or grammer. I shall repeat what I have stated in another thread:
Unless someone is using lazy text (how r u) or their message is incomprehensible, every effort should be made to read the point that person is trying to make. Judge the persons message, not how it's written.
Unless you wish to add an entrance test to the New Members forum.
P.S please dont think this a rant of any kind, I was actually quite chuffed with the comments made. I simply wish to point out a couple of facts that may not have been taken into consadirotion
Unless someone is using lazy text (how r u) or their message is incomprehensible, every effort should be made to read the point that person is trying to make. Judge the persons message, not how it's written.
Unless you wish to add an entrance test to the New Members forum.
P.S please dont think this a rant of any kind, I was actually quite chuffed with the comments made. I simply wish to point out a couple of facts that may not have been taken into consadirotion
YOU CLIMB OBSTACLES LIKE OLD PEOPLE FXCK!!!!!!!!!!!
I know this !!! Its coz the table's legs / your legs are not long enough.. when you drop the toast, the bread cannot rotate completely around in time for the buttered side to be face up again...mofgimmers wrote:Mar, why does toast always land butter side down?
if gravity were weaker or tables were higher up then it might change and land butter side up instead...
i think i found this answer offa HOW2 when carol vorderman were on it .. although i think Gaz 'Top' Jones did the experiment...
-
mofgimmers
- Reliable
- Posts: 987
- Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:54 am
- Location: Burnden Paddock
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 156 guests