Ask Mar

[BoltonBilly]

With golf its never the same shot youre trying to achieve so its a little difficult to practice hitting a certain position each time, but think of your standing position, the position of the cross you hit on the previous shot and judge the power and curl accordingly.

Many is the time you want exactly the same shot so I think your advice is going to come in very handy.

I'll try what you say tomorrow and let you know.

Thank you very much.

[BoltonBilly]

Well I followed the advice as best as I could Mar and played the best golf in ages. I came 2nd in the singles on Tuesday, and if my partner had been any cop we could've won the doubles. Yesterday I won the singles out right. but there was no doubles. So thanks buddy - excellent.

Shame about the horses though I lost £320!!!!!!!!

[Mar]

Glad it helped.

As for the horses. :S

[Mar]

Afternoon,

I was just wondering if anyone would be so kind as to offer some words of wisdom to your beloved TZK?

Without going into too many details, you never know who is reading this, I am in a bit of a predicament. I recently started a new job and have found myself romantically involved with a gorgeous blonde. Problem is, she's married and I'm in a long term relationship.

Help!!

TZK,
It seems your in quite the pickle.

While dating this new woman means exploring new and exciting possibilities and sexual avenues you haven't previously explored it does however tend to take things out of perspective.

You see, problems like this tend to rear their ugly head at the wrong time and leave a hell of clean up job afterwards.

Your job, your relationship and this other bird are getting put into a situation where you could lose them all on how things work out.

While i'm sure you'd like to continue seeing both of them and live out a Mormon-esque lifestyle of your own, I do think you're gonna regret it if you do.

You see, Polygamy breeds insecurity, and with that a heck of a lot of trust issues that go awry. Hell, why should you trust someone when you know first hand whats likely to hurt someone.

Lets start with the other woman, she's gorgeous, she's sexy, she's Married. Yep Married. While that means less and less every year, it still holds true the values that have been prevalent for many a decade. The sexual ambiguity maybe the in-thing with divorces being the counterpoint, but its always gonna stick with you.

Divorce Increases highest number of divorces since 1997


http://www.britain.tv/statistics_commun ... ates.shtml

You see, in her situation, she's in a marriage where shes not too sure she wants to be in (if she wanted to leave she'd've divorced already). Which means you're the guy thats exciting her life at the moment. It doesn't mean anything else. When push comes to shove, you're the one likely to be without her. And if you're thinking of a happy ending, well how many happy endings involve divorce in the start. Even if she does leave him for you, whats to say you won't become boring and cause her to stray once again? It'll always be on your mind and after that exciting periods gone, well theres gonna be arguments on either side with huge trust issues, and you gotta think whether or not you want to be around that.

Your situation however. Well, as much as you care for the original girl in the longterm relationship, she's obviously not satisfying a need that you want. You know where you stand with her and you know what its all about being with her, so the excitements not there anymore. Were looking at the same situation as the married woman is in, without the marriage. The emotional involvement will hurt just as much and you've gotta decide what it is you want.

Your girlfriend might be able to forgive you if you get out of your own accord and try to patch up the problems that made you stray in the first place, but 'As males we can stop chasing it, but when its chasing us we can't run that fast.' (Chris Rock).

If you do decide to take things up with the long-term relationship then you've gotta start thinking whether or not its worth building a relationship on a foundation of lies or whether or not you should just tell her and try to sort things out.

Try finding a firm footing in your situation, and the steps in the right direction should become a heck of a lot easier.

[Mar]

Dear Mar,

I'm getting more and more concerned about the lack of people needing help that i've started posting in third person, what should I do?

[Mar]

Well Mar,

You needn't do anything. Its the rest that need to post.

Now, like my friend the mighty pirate here says, get to your posts you scumdogs!

[mofgimmers]

Dear Mar

I recently found a random photo of a person on the pavement near work. I'm already obsessed with it, but fear this is unhealthy.

What should i do?

[Mar]

Mof,

it seems you need something to seperate yourself from the attachment to the problem before you end up like this fine gentleman..



Heres what I suggest you do (in no particular order):

Start a cult following, yep, its easy, fun and you can recreate the picture wherever you please.

Persue a life of hobo-ism where you can learn the comfort of a pavement for future needs.

Seek out the person who is in the photo and start a commemorative montage of his life for future reference and enjoyment.

Join a self help program where you will eventually start running it to further Jeremy Beadles plight.

[Enzo Gambaro]

Dear Mar,

Over the last few years when summer has been upon us and Big Brother has graced our screens I have reluctantly become interested in watching a group of carefully selected nobodies talking about sod all in a house. However, this year something strange has happened.

I haven't watched any of the show but have occasionally been switching channels and seen a couple of minutes of it here and there. Anyway, it appears that there is some chancer in the house called Maxwell (I think that's his name). This miserable excuse for a human being makes me very angry. I have probably only seen about 5 minutes of this character in action but I despise him with every part of my being. Even when there is nothing else on television, I can't watch Big Brother even for a few seconds for fear of seeing this loathsome individual. Seriously, I have never been a violent person but if I saw him in the street I don't think I'd be able to stop myself violently attacking him.

What worries me is that I can feel such a passionate dislike for somebody I have never met, know nothing about and have only seen for a few minutes. Is this natural or should I seek some kind of professional help?

Cheers.

[ratbert]

Mar.

Does a room cease to exist when no-one is in it?

[Mar]

Enzo,

I know your plight all too well. I don't know what it is to make a TV program get a rise out of someone enough to literally want to be aggressive towards someone, but theres a few that do it for me.

Knight and Riley, Michael Howard (why can't the tories put in a decent leader!) and that silly cow that went from Emmerdale, to binge eating to Candid Camera.

Either way you're not alone in this one.

I fear a revolt coming on. Where men, women and children alike will strike back at the filth on TV.

TV will not be a safe place to be. We'll have Vanessa Feltz hiding under the carpet in fear. Big Brother contestants will shield their eyes in horror as they see objects reigning down upon them.

We'll have the crocodile hunter tracking down frogs in an effort to find the ring-ading-ding frog, those that don't talk will be given electric shocks.

We'll have Lindsey Lohan lookalikes strategically placed across tarmac covered carpets across hollywood bulevard in recognition of a better society. Yep, you know the ones starring in countless remakes of cinderella for children while tragically destroying a peice of history just like a 5 year old in a school play performing Shakespeare.

You see, the time for a stand is now. And like the good book says, Judgement day will be upon us soon (maybe it does say that whatever), either way, my believing brother, we must unite to get rid of this filth in order to have a better society where the average child doesn't grow up understanding the numeric system by what comes first on their phones and whatever new text fad is needed.

Lets get to a stage where Scally kids are like this:


(i'd certainly consider opening a chain of frisbee outlets...)

[Mar]

Ratbert,

Existence is derived from observation and experience.

There is nothing to prove that anything else other than yourself exists. When you see someone walking down the street, theres nothing that tells you this person being there is an absolute truth.

For all you know, you could be a thought in a four-headed monkeys dream and that this other 'person' is just something within that dream.

Which leads me to point out my new understanding of the four-headed monkey philosophy.

Take one monkey head, it could think whatever it wants to think, its a monkey head. It doesn't understand anything about what its thinking and is therefore clueless as to what the monkey head is trying to tell it.

The monkey head, knows that there are other monkey heads living a similar existence to itself, but because there is nothing to tell the current monkey head that the other monkey heads are part of its own life then it is constantly doubting the information being fed to it by the other monkeys.

Because the monkey head has no true and clear picture of the life its living its never able to be truly happy. Instead it has to consider the questions like 'Do I exist' and do these other monkies 'exist'. Instead of putting its feet up and enjoying what it has been led to know. Which is what I suggest you do..

[plodder]

Mar how can you stand putting time and effort into all us newbies when we can't be arsed to ask anything??

Oh and by the way these bloody smilyemotimovicon thingys are cool!!!

[Bench]

Mar,

I'm taking the easy way out (read lazy) on this one. Referring you to mofs latest Avatar - what is Bill Cosby not (allegedly) guilty of?

[Mar]

Plodder,

Thats an easy one. Its no real effort in replying because there's not too much being asked. But basically its a nice way to put a funny spin on random questions while at the same time helping people with proper problems, whenever people decide to ask.

Bench,

Bill Cosby is allegedly guilty of over-acting, having a big mouth and being black.

On a more legal note he's been accused of drugging a woman and fondling her.

The woman, of canadian origin, alleged that in January 2004 Cosby gave her some medication that made her feel dizzy, then fondled her. She said she later woke up to find her bra undone and her clothes in disarray.

Whatever happened won't make too much difference in terms of jailtime or anything like that I should imagine. It just looks like she's trying to discredit Bill Cosby's name as he's one of the major outspoken actors within the black community (not that its the reason of course).

http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/03/08/bill.cosby/index.html

[keveh]

Oh and by the way these bloody smilyemotimovicon thingys are cool!!!

prepare for some new ones to be added soon.

[Kylofski]

sorry head in hands

just thought you didnt like new posters

just here at work all day bored s/less and bolton not doing anthing just wanted to chat, banter, cos all my wife does is shout.

Thanks Guys Much better than 606

Surely you see the irony in where you have just posted this...

If you have marital problems, ask Mar - "results guaranteed".

Help Mar

[Mar]

Okay, if you have marital problems you're gonna have to give me a little more detail about the types of problems you are having and the likely cause of them. Otherwise I'm left guessing and the last thing you want is someone to guess your way out of the problem.

[Kylofski]

under the thumb all the time just for a little quiet life!!!!


work is my only escape!!

[Mar]

Does she have a job or anything?