Farting ban in Malawi...

[Worthy4England]

Malawi row over whether new law bans farting

Two of Malawi's most senior judicial officials are arguing over whether a new bill includes a provision that outlaws breaking wind in public. Justice Minister George Chaponda says the new bill would criminalise flatulence to promote "public decency". "Just go to the toilet when you feel like farting," he told local radio.

However, he was directly contradicted by Solicitor General Anthony Kamanga, who says the reference to "fouling the air" means pollution. "How any reasonable or sensible person can construe the provision to criminalising farting in public is beyond me," he said, adding that the prohibition contained in the new law has been in place since 1929.

The Local Courts Bill, to be introduced next week reads: "Any person who vitiates the atmosphere in any place so as to make it noxious to the public to the health of persons in general dwelling or carrying on business in the neighbourhood or passing along a public way shall be guilty of a misdemeanour."

Mr Chaponda, a trained lawyer, insists that this includes farting. "Would you be happy to see people farting anyhow?" he asked on the popular "Straight Talk" programme on Malawi's Capital Radio.

He said that local chiefs would deal with any offenders. When asked whether it could be enforced, he said it would be similar to laws banning urinating in public.

Oh dear...

[Lord Kangana]

Straight Talk.

Sounds like Malawi's version of TalkSport.

Is there some kind of quota that every territory has to have a statutory number of these kind of lunatics before they can be accepted by the international community as a country?

[seanworth]

Saw that last week. Thought is was pretty funny.

[KeeeeeeeBaaaaaaab]

How would you enforce it/bring evidence? Would it be through the use of forensics, or the age old "He Who Smelt It Dealt It"?

Which would then give rise to "Your honour, members of the jury, please bear in mind that He Who Said The Rhyme Committed The Crime". Countered by "He Who Denied It Supplied It". The legal system would be a right old mess.

[seanworth]

It seems you are allowed to let the odd one slip. It is the habitual farters they are after. Not too sure if that means that the first few times you are pulled up for farting you get get off with a warning, or that you have to let a bunch go in rapid succession.

[KeeeeeeeBaaaaaaab]

It seems you are allowed to let the odd one slip. It is the habitual farters they are after. Not too sure if that means that the first few times you are pulled up for farting you get get off with a warning, or that you have to let a bunch go in rapid succession.

What if you're dealing with someone who is an expert in Silent But Deadlies? Would they be let off?

[seanworth]

It seems you are allowed to let the odd one slip. It is the habitual farters they are after. Not too sure if that means that the first few times you are pulled up for farting you get get off with a warning, or that you have to let a bunch go in rapid succession.

What if you're dealing with someone who is an expert in Silent But Deadlies? Would they be let off?

One way or the other I guess so.

[thebish]

It seems you are allowed to let the odd one slip. It is the habitual farters they are after. Not too sure if that means that the first few times you are pulled up for farting you get get off with a warning, or that you have to let a bunch go in rapid succession.

What if you're dealing with someone who is an expert in Silent But Deadlies? Would they be let off?

One way or the other I guess so.

[KeeeeeeeBaaaaaaab]

I'll set 'em up, you knock 'em in!

[bobo the clown]

ooooops !!

Thank goodness I'm not in Malawi, that's what I say !!

[TANGODANCER]

All which brought to mind the Peter Sellars " It wasn't me" elevator scene. It took forever to make that scene for the film because they were all helpless laughing all the time. Must be a clip of that somewhere?.

[bobo the clown]

All which brought to mind the Peter Sellars " It wasn't me" elevator scene. It took forever to make that scene for the film because they were all helpless laughing all the time. Must be a clip of that somewhere?.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViYclyAkkDg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

and with commentary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TtZgs8k8dU&NR=1" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Bijou Bob]

Had lunch in Nawaab in Levenshulme yesterday (If you're into Indian food, give it a go, 12 quid for the all you can eat buffet - nice place, amazing food) and being a tad tight, decided I was going to get my 12 quids worth if it killed me.

I walked out with enough heartburn to slay an elephant and walked straight into the Tesco next door for some Rennie. Unfortunately, there was a long queue. Or at least there was until I released the cause of said heartburn into the atmosphere. It was that bad I was nearly sick. Fortunately, they all seemed to blame the fat woman behind me. Result, but guilty as charged Your Homour.

Toilet humour: It can still make me laugh.