Local Darwin Awards
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- Lost Leopard Spot
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Local Darwin Awards
I'd like to nominate for the Derbyshire 'shallow end of the gene pool' 2017 the dick driving the Renault Megane behind me in Darley Dale tonight.
Not ten minutes ago, sat third in a queue at roadwork temporary traffic lights on a long straight road (the A6). It's got to be said that whoever set the interval has got it badly wrong, and I'm the first to admit that I get frustrated waiting at lights for five minutes when you can see there's no fxcker coming the other way.
Anyway, the car behind had already shown some really aggressive driving on the way from Bakewell (he must have been four or five cars behind me at Bakewell roundabout, and was just behind me at Rowsley, and I'd consistently been driving at ten-to-twenty above the speed limit along with everybody else on the way down).
Anyway we got to the traffic lights just as they changed to red. At least two cars in front went through on red, but we ground to a halt with Mr Dick fourth in the queue, sticking out slightly to the right coz he'd thought of overtaking the three in front of him (inc. me), who'd stopped at red, to drive through anyway.
So we sat waiting. Then the lights changed to green. Only the first car didn't move off. So we sat and waited, and the second car started to pull out to go round the first, but equally stopped dead, stuck slightly over to the right. Which gave me a clear view down the road. Horns sounded behind me, Mr Dick clearly impatient to be off, but now I could see in the distance the flashing blue lights of an emergency vehicle heading towards us (but because he was stuck out on the right, and the 2nd vehicle obscured his sight line, Mr Dick was blissfully unaware of his forthcoming doom).
Seconds went by, a faint noise of sirens began to build, and Mr. Dick decided enough was enough, the lights had been on green for over seven seconds ffs! so he pulled out and went past me. The second car in line must have noticed him because he stuck his nose out further to block Mr. D. and blared his horn in warning.
I could clearly see Richard 'the dick' Dickhead, give a continuous horn blast back whilst gesticulating furiously with his other hand. How he steered around car two I don't know, but he did. Just in time to meet the emergency vehicle (now clearly a police car) head on. Except by some fxcking miracle the police driver just avoided Mr. D. and continued on southwards.
Mr. Dick however, after a powered swerve worthy of the Dukes of Hazard, ran headlong into the thing that's got the batteries what power temporary traffic lights. It was quite a bang! Unfortunately the cxnt, seemingly uninjured to any great extent staggered out of his crunched up steaming car, only to somehow manage to dance out of the way of the ambulance that followed the police car.
What a wanker. I just hope he manages to kill himself before he gets to procreate.
Not ten minutes ago, sat third in a queue at roadwork temporary traffic lights on a long straight road (the A6). It's got to be said that whoever set the interval has got it badly wrong, and I'm the first to admit that I get frustrated waiting at lights for five minutes when you can see there's no fxcker coming the other way.
Anyway, the car behind had already shown some really aggressive driving on the way from Bakewell (he must have been four or five cars behind me at Bakewell roundabout, and was just behind me at Rowsley, and I'd consistently been driving at ten-to-twenty above the speed limit along with everybody else on the way down).
Anyway we got to the traffic lights just as they changed to red. At least two cars in front went through on red, but we ground to a halt with Mr Dick fourth in the queue, sticking out slightly to the right coz he'd thought of overtaking the three in front of him (inc. me), who'd stopped at red, to drive through anyway.
So we sat waiting. Then the lights changed to green. Only the first car didn't move off. So we sat and waited, and the second car started to pull out to go round the first, but equally stopped dead, stuck slightly over to the right. Which gave me a clear view down the road. Horns sounded behind me, Mr Dick clearly impatient to be off, but now I could see in the distance the flashing blue lights of an emergency vehicle heading towards us (but because he was stuck out on the right, and the 2nd vehicle obscured his sight line, Mr Dick was blissfully unaware of his forthcoming doom).
Seconds went by, a faint noise of sirens began to build, and Mr. Dick decided enough was enough, the lights had been on green for over seven seconds ffs! so he pulled out and went past me. The second car in line must have noticed him because he stuck his nose out further to block Mr. D. and blared his horn in warning.
I could clearly see Richard 'the dick' Dickhead, give a continuous horn blast back whilst gesticulating furiously with his other hand. How he steered around car two I don't know, but he did. Just in time to meet the emergency vehicle (now clearly a police car) head on. Except by some fxcking miracle the police driver just avoided Mr. D. and continued on southwards.
Mr. Dick however, after a powered swerve worthy of the Dukes of Hazard, ran headlong into the thing that's got the batteries what power temporary traffic lights. It was quite a bang! Unfortunately the cxnt, seemingly uninjured to any great extent staggered out of his crunched up steaming car, only to somehow manage to dance out of the way of the ambulance that followed the police car.
What a wanker. I just hope he manages to kill himself before he gets to procreate.
That's not a leopard!
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Re: Local Darwin Awards
I think a quick email to the British Insurance Association with registration number, details of the location and evidencing his negligence, should get his claim invalidated nicely. Just saying like........
Uma mesa para um, faz favor. Obrigado.
- Abdoulaye's Twin
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Re: Local Darwin Awards
In the middle lane of 3 going round a roundabout. Loon over takes from the right (would be left in UK) and cuts us up as we try to exit the roundabout. He veers in front of us into the left lane of 2 on the road we exit on to. As we're trying to go right he then veers across our lane and cuts us up again. 200 yds down the road, 2 lanes at the lights to turn left and he cuts us up again as the lights change. Feckin wanker and sadly standard driving here. You take your life into your hands every time you step in a car here
- BWFC_Insane
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Re: Local Darwin Awards
Someone driving erratically infront of me yesterday. Speeding and and slowing down (to inappropriate speeds) for no obvious reason. Coming to a virtual stop for no reason.
Very odd. After a few miles of this I have a passing opportunity and go past only to see a middle aged lady with a tablet of some description on her lap. She was staring at the thing and only momentarily looking up at the road.
Glad I went past safely.
Very odd. After a few miles of this I have a passing opportunity and go past only to see a middle aged lady with a tablet of some description on her lap. She was staring at the thing and only momentarily looking up at the road.
Glad I went past safely.
- Lost Leopard Spot
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Re: Local Darwin Awards
That's as maybe, but I didn't get his registration plate... and as it was clearly witnessed by a cop car, I'll let them sort out the legal crap, if they can be bothered.
That's not a leopard!
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- Lost Leopard Spot
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Re: Local Darwin Awards
Not so local, actually worldwide. But duh! Some women complaining that women are being picked on because some women have had Facebook accounts banned under hate speech rules because they've posted that "all men are scum".
There really are some thick fxckers out there. All women are geniuses, not.
[It's ok, I've got a Venn diagram all prepared]
There really are some thick fxckers out there. All women are geniuses, not.
[It's ok, I've got a Venn diagram all prepared]
That's not a leopard!
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- TANGODANCER
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Re: Local Darwin Awards
One for you Spots. Coming down Plodder Lane at teatime, (an always busy crossroads junction, more so with the current fiasco at Moses Gate) watched the lights change to red and traffic stop. Lead car then changed his mind and accelerated off through the red, followed by a second, then a third which escaped being tail-ended by an equally eager sprinter of the green crossing the junction, by no more than a coat of paint. Crazy, crazy behaviour.
Si Deus pro nobis, quis contra nos?
- Lost Leopard Spot
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- Joined: Wed May 09, 2012 11:14 am
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Re: Local Darwin Awards
I've noticed that red light jumping is getting more frequent. It's almost like most people nowadays seem to equate lights turning to Red as a signal that four more cars can get through.TANGODANCER wrote: ↑Wed Dec 06, 2017 6:52 pmOne for you Spots. Coming down Plodder Lane at teatime, (an always busy crossroads junction, more so with the current fiasco at Moses Gate) watched the lights change to red and traffic stop. Lead car then changed his mind and accelerated off through the red, followed by a second, then a third which escaped being tail-ended by an equally eager sprinter of the green crossing the junction, by no more than a coat of paint. Crazy, crazy behaviour.
That's not a leopard!
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