Top 5 of all time...

[Gooner Girl]

See, most of my favourite crisps have either been discontinued or are now a piss-poor imitation of their former selves.

If I could walk out through the smoke dressed as Cher whilst turning back time, my favourite crisps are / were;

1: Warburton's Salted Crisps in Sunflower Oil. Years ahead of their time - the dawn of the posh crisps market was a good 20 years away. The forerunner of current 'kettle' crisps, and the best by far. Bring them back, Jonathan.
2: Monster Munch Roast Beef. "Hunks of beef" "The Biggest Snack Pennies Can Buy" said the TV ads, and they were. Well, they were when they were made by Smiths. Taken over and completely ruined by Walkers since 1995. Now a tiny, pale and tasteless imitation.
3: Seabrook Canadian Ham. The only good thing to come out of Bradford other than for Rita, Sue and Bob too. Sadly, as the premium crisps market has gone from strength to strength, these penny-piching Yorkshire c*nts have decided to make their product as cheap (and subsequently as poor) as is possibly by setting the potato slicer to 'gossamer' and adjusting the pour rate of the flavour-powder machine to, well, Yorkshirean. Now just translucent, flavourless and particularly greasy. Awful.
4: Ringos Cheese and Onion. It's ridiculous that whatever the current abominations are, that they're allowed to go by the same name. These firm, circular, starchy beauties used to leave you sucking flavour off of your fingers for endless hours afterwards. Sadly, Golden Wonder went into Administration in 2006 and is now a subsidiary of the Northern Irish company Tayto, who, being Irish and that, you'd like to think might know a thing or two about serving up potato based stuff. Ruined beyond all recognition. Absolute shite. Horrible.
5: Quavers. Just what the feck has gone on here? When a 12 pack has less density than a helium-filled balloon, something's gone seriously awry here. As with Monster Munch, these were bloody lovely when made by Smiths (and you'd always get either a green one or a rock hard one, sometimes both, in every packet). Deep-fried potato starch smothered in spray-dried cheese powder at its very best, only to be ruined beyond all recognition upon acquisition by Walkers in 95. Now the absolute epitome of a bag of fresh air. Just nowt, nothing, nada.

So, that's that off my chest. What's next?

You’ve clearly thought a lot about this, Cher.

Why don’t you chose the next category?!

[Worthy4England]

Can't believe we've got this far on this stupidity without

#1 Wotsits and
#2 Salt n Vinegar

Wotsits are for kids and salt and vinegar are awful. They belong on fish and chips, not crisps!

Bizarrely enough, I don't have vinegar on chips and am allergic to fish....

[Worthy4England]

Can't believe we've got this far on this stupidity without

#1 Wotsits and
#2 Salt n Vinegar

Do they make your top 5 then Worthy?!

I don't actually eat them anymore, but yes, they'd have been in my top 5...

[Burnden Paddock]

See, most of my favourite crisps have either been discontinued or are now a piss-poor imitation of their former selves.

If I could walk out through the smoke dressed as Cher whilst turning back time, my favourite crisps are / were;

1: Warburton's Salted Crisps in Sunflower Oil. Years ahead of their time - the dawn of the posh crisps market was a good 20 years away. The forerunner of current 'kettle' crisps, and the best by far. Bring them back, Jonathan.
2: Monster Munch Roast Beef. "Hunks of beef" "The Biggest Snack Pennies Can Buy" said the TV ads, and they were. Well, they were when they were made by Smiths. Taken over and completely ruined by Walkers since 1995. Now a tiny, pale and tasteless imitation.
3: Seabrook Canadian Ham. The only good thing to come out of Bradford other than for Rita, Sue and Bob too. Sadly, as the premium crisps market has gone from strength to strength, these penny-piching Yorkshire c*nts have decided to make their product as cheap (and subsequently as poor) as is possibly by setting the potato slicer to 'gossamer' and adjusting the pour rate of the flavour-powder machine to, well, Yorkshirean. Now just translucent, flavourless and particularly greasy. Awful.
4: Ringos Cheese and Onion. It's ridiculous that whatever the current abominations are, that they're allowed to go by the same name. These firm, circular, starchy beauties used to leave you sucking flavour off of your fingers for endless hours afterwards. Sadly, Golden Wonder went into Administration in 2006 and is now a subsidiary of the Northern Irish company Tayto, who, being Irish and that, you'd like to think might know a thing or two about serving up potato based stuff. Ruined beyond all recognition. Absolute shite. Horrible.
5: Quavers. Just what the feck has gone on here? When a 12 pack has less density than a helium-filled balloon, something's gone seriously awry here. As with Monster Munch, these were bloody lovely when made by Smiths (and you'd always get either a green one or a rock hard one, sometimes both, in every packet). Deep-fried potato starch smothered in spray-dried cheese powder at its very best, only to be ruined beyond all recognition upon acquisition by Walkers in 95. Now the absolute epitome of a bag of fresh air. Just nowt, nothing, nada.

So, that's that off my chest. What's next?

Don't think I recall Warby's doing crisps. Interesting!

With regard to Ringos, the best imitation i've found of late are the Co-op own brand. Massive bag for a quid. (HG popping up in 3,2 ... to tell me i'm tight!)

The most annoying thing about Quavers was always putting your hand in for the last one, only to find you've already eaten it such was the lightness of the buggers!

[Burnden Paddock]

Can't believe we've got this far on this stupidity without

#1 Wotsits and
#2 Salt n Vinegar

Wotsits are for kids and salt and vinegar are awful. They belong on fish and chips, not crisps!

Bizarrely enough, I don't have vinegar on chips and am allergic to fish....

For God's sake, don't admit to having gravy or mushy peas on your chips, or you'll be getting a lecture from GG. Weird bloody southerners!

You just reminded me that it's chippy tea tonight!

[TANGODANCER]

Cheese. Asda's own Cheddar cheese with pickled onion and chives. It's seriously good. Just thought I'd say....

[dave the minion]

Think some of these might slightly contravene the rules, but....

1 - Smiths scampi fries (THE best ever pub snack by a country mile...)
2 - Bacon wheat crunchies
3 - Nice n Spicy Nik-Naks
4 - Any of pickled onion / flaming hot / beef monster munch (I'm not picky....)
5 - Beef hula hoops (but only so you can eat them by putting them on your fingers first....)

Oooh nik-naks. Not had them in ages! Do they still sell them?!

They do, but I don't think they are as nice as they used to be. They remain on my top 5 though from the fond memories of days gone by....

[dave the minion]

and by the way, any ready/lightly salted crisps should be banned. There's just no point when there are so many other falvours available....

Flavoured crisps are absolutely vile though. I honestly vomit at the smell of cheese and onion. If you want smoky bacon eat a bacon sandwich, not fried potatoes coated in E numbers.

Only permissible flavours are chilli and salt and vinegar. The rest - no.

and if you want ready/lightly salted, then just have some salt. But only a bit of salt, so its not too, err, salty

[dave the minion]

Can't believe we've got this far on this stupidity without

#1 Wotsits and
#2 Salt n Vinegar

Wotsits are for kids and salt and vinegar are awful. They belong on fish and chips, not crisps!

And a new entry at number 6: do you remember those fish and chip crispy-biscuits / buiscuity-crisp things that were in a newpaper-designed package and had some much flavour powder on them they instantly sucked out all the moisture from your mouth just by opening the packet?? They were lovely....

[Gooner Girl]

Can't believe we've got this far on this stupidity without

#1 Wotsits and
#2 Salt n Vinegar

Wotsits are for kids and salt and vinegar are awful. They belong on fish and chips, not crisps!

And a new entry at number 6: do you remember those fish and chip crispy-biscuits / buiscuity-crisp things that were in a newpaper-designed package and had some much flavour powder on them they instantly sucked out all the moisture from your mouth just by opening the packet?? They were lovely....

You can still get them or very similar in bags at Iceland. Introduced them to my kids the other day!

[Bruce Rioja]

You’ve clearly thought a lot about this, Cher.

Why don’t you chose the next category?!

Axes I've been waiting to grind

Ooooh, 5 favourite Withnail and I quotes? 5 favourite Stiff Little Fingers songs? Choices, choices....

[Abdoulaye's Twin]

Can't believe we've got this far on this stupidity without

#1 Wotsits and
#2 Salt n Vinegar

Wotsits are for kids and salt and vinegar are awful. They belong on fish and chips, not crisps!

And a new entry at number 6: do you remember those fish and chip crispy-biscuits / buiscuity-crisp things that were in a newpaper-designed package and had some much flavour powder on them they instantly sucked out all the moisture from your mouth just by opening the packet?? They were lovely....

Buxtons Fish n Chips if I recall. My only issue with them is when you'd enjoyed the flavouring you're just left with a crap mushy biscuit in your mouth. They are still available as mentioned.

Anyone remember the flavoured salt & shake crisps?

Also agree on Seabrooks. They're prawn cocktail crisps were the nuts, now they're just shit.

[Harry Genshaw]

Ahh crisps. Now you're talking. Bruce - top ranting. I agree with every word! Dave- I had the fish and chip ones just a few days ago. They're still very good.

Any road, the votes from the Westhoughton jury are in:

1) McCoys -cool sour cream Muchos.
New in town and an absolute game changer. Get some. They're amazing. May be a bit pricey for some on here, cough BP, but you wont regret it. With a maccy ds coffee they're snack heaven.

2) Tyrells sea salt and cider vinegar.
Salt and vinegar to perfection. Salt you can savour on every crisp and vinegar to get the old jowels working overtime. Beautiful.

3) Doritos- chilli heat wave.
Just add beer. You're welcome.

4) Discos. Cheese and onion or S&V
Still flavoursome, whichever your preference. Any one opting for ready salted crisps when theres stuff like this on the shelf, should be sectioned imo. If you're really lucky with these, you get a clump in your packet, which is just a ball of c&o or s&v. It beats any free gift. Scrumptious.

5) Square crisps. Salt and vinegar.
Tasty, crunchy and great on their own or on a butty.

[Gooner Girl]

Ahh crisps. Now you're talking. Bruce - top ranting. I agree with every word! Dave- I had the fish and chip ones just a few days ago. They're still very good.

Any road, the votes from the Westhoughton jury are in:

1) McCoys -cool sour cream Muchos.
New in town and an absolute game changer. Get some. They're amazing. May be a bit pricey for some on here, cough BP, but you wont regret it. With a maccy ds coffee they're snack heaven.

2) Tyrells sea salt and cider vinegar.
Salt and vinegar to perfection. Salt you can savour on every crisp and vinegar to get the old jowels working overtime. Beautiful.

3) Doritos- chilli heat wave.
Just add beer. You're welcome.

4) Discos. Cheese and onion or S&V
Still flavoursome, whichever your preference. Any one opting for ready salted crisps when theres stuff like this on the shelf, should be sectioned imo. If you're really lucky with these, you get a clump in your packet, which is just a ball of c&o or s&v. It beats any free gift. Scrumptious.

5) Square crisps. Salt and vinegar.
Tasty, crunchy and great on their own or on a butty.

How did I forget squares or discos?! French fries too! Can I adjust my top 5?!

[Burnden Paddock]

Can't believe we've got this far on this stupidity without

#1 Wotsits and
#2 Salt n Vinegar

Wotsits are for kids and salt and vinegar are awful. They belong on fish and chips, not crisps!

And a new entry at number 6: do you remember those fish and chip crispy-biscuits / buiscuity-crisp things that were in a newpaper-designed package and had some much flavour powder on them they instantly sucked out all the moisture from your mouth just by opening the packet?? They were lovely....

Forgot about fish and chips.

Burton’s Smax - Similar thing, but oval and smoky bacon flavour. Always tried to bite them so that I could separate the 2 halves. Delicious!

A couple for our older readers - Fangs and Rancheros. They don’t make crisps like they used to!

[Burnden Paddock]

Ahh crisps. Now you're talking. Bruce - top ranting. I agree with every word! Dave- I had the fish and chip ones just a few days ago. They're still very good.

Any road, the votes from the Westhoughton jury are in:

1) McCoys -cool sour cream Muchos.
New in town and an absolute game changer. Get some. They're amazing. May be a bit pricey for some on here, cough BP, but you wont regret it. With a maccy ds coffee they're snack heaven.

2) Tyrells sea salt and cider vinegar.
Salt and vinegar to perfection. Salt you can savour on every crisp and vinegar to get the old jowels working overtime. Beautiful.

3) Doritos- chilli heat wave.
Just add beer. You're welcome.

4) Discos. Cheese and onion or S&V
Still flavoursome, whichever your preference. Any one opting for ready salted crisps when theres stuff like this on the shelf, should be sectioned imo. If you're really lucky with these, you get a clump in your packet, which is just a ball of c&o or s&v. It beats any free gift. Scrumptious.

5) Square crisps. Salt and vinegar.
Tasty, crunchy and great on their own or on a butty.

How did I forget squares or discos?! French fries too! Can I adjust my top 5?!

You usually make the rules up as you go along, so why not?

[Abdoulaye's Twin]

1. Walkers prawn cocktail
2. M&S sour cream & jalapeño mix
3. Pomsticks paprika
4. Kettle chips bacon & maple syrup
5. Tyrells cheddar & chive

Ask me tomorrow and it'll probably a completely different list.

[BWFC_Insane]

and by the way, any ready/lightly salted crisps should be banned. There's just no point when there are so many other falvours available....

Flavoured crisps are absolutely vile though. I honestly vomit at the smell of cheese and onion. If you want smoky bacon eat a bacon sandwich, not fried potatoes coated in E numbers.

Only permissible flavours are chilli and salt and vinegar. The rest - no.

and if you want ready/lightly salted, then just have some salt. But only a bit of salt, so its not too, err, salty

Lightly salted fried potatoes who would ever want that?

You’re basically saying chips with salt - no. Chips coated in roast chicken/prawn cocktail/cheese and onion yes. Makes no sense to me.

[dave the minion]

Now, I for one would certainly like to try chicken, prawn cocktail, cheese and onion flavoured crisps. They could even make it into my top 5.....

[Bruce Rioja]

1. Walkers prawn cocktail
2. M&S sour cream & jalapeño mix
3. Pomsticks paprika
4. Kettle chips bacon & maple syrup
5. Tyrells cheddar & chive

Ask me tomorrow and it'll probably a completely different list.

I should hope that it fecking well will!