Joke thread
Moderator: Zulus Thousand of em
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Montreal Wanderer
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Granted it might have done the rounds, but the same day in the same format....warthog wrote:You might be on dodgy ground. I first saw that joke in 1998, although it's had some modifications since then.Montreal Wanderer wrote:I posted the above cow joke and in just over two hours ( Posted: Fri Jan 12th, 2007 11:12 am) it was up on BB unattributed. Pencilbiter, can I sue?
And I'm still taking legal advice. Louise Taylor indeed!
I thought you'd be thrilled with a fifty year career of reporting the truth. Wait! what am I talking about. It's not you. Leyland Hogg is actually - er - Mich Caine.
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for
her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's
door.
The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new
employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is
backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the
2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me
Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to Pile
up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me
Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small
marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of
fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the
little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of
hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena "I'm sorry," he
says to her, barely able to keep a straight face,"but I think you
misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..."
"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's
door.
The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new
employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is
backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the
2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me
Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to Pile
up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me
Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small
marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of
fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the
little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of
hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena "I'm sorry," he
says to her, barely able to keep a straight face,"but I think you
misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..."
"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
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Montreal Wanderer
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- Location: Montreal, Canada
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Zulus Thousand of em
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- Location: 200 miles darn sarf
Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson, and bragged that despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex 3 times a night.
Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued. After the show, Cilla said, "Sean, if I'm not bein too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sex with yer. Let's go back to my ouse, we could 'ave a lorra fun."
So they went back to her place. After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together. Afterwards, Sean says, "If you think that was good, let me shleep for half an hour, and we can have better shex. But while I'm shleeping, hold my bawls in your left hand and ma wullie in your right hand". Cilla looks a bit perplexed,but says "Okay". He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before. Then Sean says, "Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You'll have to......."I know Sean. Yer want me to 'old onto yer bat 'n balls again. No problem hun".
Cilla complies with the routine. The results are absolutely mind blowing. Once it's all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks "Sean, tell me, dis 'oldin yer balls in one hand and yer willie in de other - does it really stimulate yer dat much?"
Sean replies, "No, not at all Cilla, but the last time I shlept with a scouser, the bint stole ma wallet."
I THEANKK YEAWW!
Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued. After the show, Cilla said, "Sean, if I'm not bein too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sex with yer. Let's go back to my ouse, we could 'ave a lorra fun."
So they went back to her place. After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together. Afterwards, Sean says, "If you think that was good, let me shleep for half an hour, and we can have better shex. But while I'm shleeping, hold my bawls in your left hand and ma wullie in your right hand". Cilla looks a bit perplexed,but says "Okay". He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before. Then Sean says, "Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You'll have to......."I know Sean. Yer want me to 'old onto yer bat 'n balls again. No problem hun".
Cilla complies with the routine. The results are absolutely mind blowing. Once it's all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks "Sean, tell me, dis 'oldin yer balls in one hand and yer willie in de other - does it really stimulate yer dat much?"
Sean replies, "No, not at all Cilla, but the last time I shlept with a scouser, the bint stole ma wallet."
I THEANKK YEAWW!
God's country! God's county!
God's town! God's team!!
How can we fail?
COME ON YOU WHITES!!
God's town! God's team!!
How can we fail?
COME ON YOU WHITES!!
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Dave Sutton's barnet
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New Words
Some of these aren't new. Some are (to me).
New "Human Resources Dept." Words for 2007
TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking B_ _ _ _cks.
AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.
OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you’ve hit 'reply all')
GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies.
AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a ‘black box’.
BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am.
BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there’s actually naught in there worth seeing.
MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks
SALAD DODGER. an overweight person
SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive person
TART FUEL. Bottled pre-mixed spirits
New "Human Resources Dept." Words for 2007
TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking B_ _ _ _cks.
AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.
OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you’ve hit 'reply all')
GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies.
AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a ‘black box’.
BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am.
BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there’s actually naught in there worth seeing.
MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks
SALAD DODGER. an overweight person
SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive person
TART FUEL. Bottled pre-mixed spirits
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Soldier_Of_The_White_Army
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CrazyHorse
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A Banbury senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the M40, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 110mph, then 120, then 130mph. Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him. Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," said the policeman
"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the M40, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 110mph, then 120, then 130mph. Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him. Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," said the policeman
Businesswoman of the year.
Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even one drop of paint on their habits.
After conferring about this for awhile, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.
"Who is it?", calls one of the nuns.
"Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door.
The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
"Nice boobs," says the man, "where do you want the blinds?"
After conferring about this for awhile, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.
"Who is it?", calls one of the nuns.
"Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door.
The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
"Nice boobs," says the man, "where do you want the blinds?"
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Montreal Wanderer
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- Location: Montreal, Canada
I guess this belongs here.
The dangers of being a TV reporter during North American winters.
The dangers of being a TV reporter during North American winters.
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
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CrazyHorse
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- Location: Up above the streets and houses
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Montreal Wanderer
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- Posts: 12942
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 12:45 am
- Location: Montreal, Canada
Not a joke, but some actual (allegedly) headlines:
Crack Found on Governor's Daughter"
"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash"
"Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"
"Iraqi Head Seeks Arms"
"Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?"
"Prostitutes Appeal to Pope"
"Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over"
"Teacher Strikes Idle Kids"
"Miners Refuse to Work after Death"
"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"
"War Dims Hope for Peace"
"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile"
"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"
"Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"
"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"
"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"
"Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge"
"New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group"
"Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft"
"Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy"
"Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half"
"Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors" =
Crack Found on Governor's Daughter"
"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash"
"Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"
"Iraqi Head Seeks Arms"
"Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?"
"Prostitutes Appeal to Pope"
"Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over"
"Teacher Strikes Idle Kids"
"Miners Refuse to Work after Death"
"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"
"War Dims Hope for Peace"
"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile"
"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"
"Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"
"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"
"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"
"Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge"
"New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group"
"Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft"
"Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy"
"Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half"
"Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors" =
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
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communistworkethic
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- Location: in your wife's dreams
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Tommy Cooper gags -
Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "your round."
The other one says "so are you, you fat bastard"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two cannibals eating a clown.
One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog.
He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head.
Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: "Can I help, sir?"
"No thanks," says the blind bloke. "Just looking."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you.
But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.'
I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him.
I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?'
He said 'Yes, this my livelihood.'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said I want to buy an ice-cream'. He said Hundreds & thousands?'
I said 'We'll start with one.' He said 'Knickerbocker glory?'
I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I went to Millets and said "I want to buy a tent."
He said "To camp?", I said (butchly) "Sorry, I want to buy a tent." I said "I also want to buy a caravan."
He said "Camper?"
I said (camply) "Make your mind up."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they?
The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'.
And the dentist said to me 'Mr Cooper, get out of the filing cabinet.'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?'
And a voice said 'You are.'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?'
He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.'
He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I think it's Colin."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.'
And I swerved again.
He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree.
And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
(with thanks to Colin from ww)
Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "your round."
The other one says "so are you, you fat bastard"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two cannibals eating a clown.
One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog.
He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head.
Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: "Can I help, sir?"
"No thanks," says the blind bloke. "Just looking."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you.
But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.'
I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him.
I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?'
He said 'Yes, this my livelihood.'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said I want to buy an ice-cream'. He said Hundreds & thousands?'
I said 'We'll start with one.' He said 'Knickerbocker glory?'
I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I went to Millets and said "I want to buy a tent."
He said "To camp?", I said (butchly) "Sorry, I want to buy a tent." I said "I also want to buy a caravan."
He said "Camper?"
I said (camply) "Make your mind up."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they?
The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'.
And the dentist said to me 'Mr Cooper, get out of the filing cabinet.'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?'
And a voice said 'You are.'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?'
He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.'
He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I think it's Colin."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.'
And I swerved again.
He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree.
And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
(with thanks to Colin from ww)
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knobpolisher
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CrazyHorse
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Nozza
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Jim and Jon two gay guys spent all weekend in bed having sex. On Sunday morning, Jon said "I'm going to the shop, no wanking while I'm gone". When he came back, there was come all over the wall and ceilings. Jon says: "I told you not to wank!" Jim turns around and says "I didn't, I farted"
Niall Quinn wrote:"Fans epitmoise a clubs spirit. We're nothing without the fans.
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boltonboris
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Bruce Rioja
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A guy goes to the Council to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him "Have
you been in the armed services?"
"Yes" he says "I was in the Falklands for three years."
The interviewer says "That will give you extra points toward employment" and
then asks "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says "Yes 100%... a land mine blew my testicles off."
The interviewer tells the guy "OK.I can hire you right now. The hours are
from 8:00 AM. to 4:00 PM. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 AM."
The guy is puzzled and says "If the hours are from 8:00AM. to 4:00PM, then
why do you want me to come in at 10:00 AM?"
"This is a council job" the interviewer replies."For the first two hours we
sit around scratching our bollocks.......no point in you coming in for that."
you been in the armed services?"
"Yes" he says "I was in the Falklands for three years."
The interviewer says "That will give you extra points toward employment" and
then asks "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says "Yes 100%... a land mine blew my testicles off."
The interviewer tells the guy "OK.I can hire you right now. The hours are
from 8:00 AM. to 4:00 PM. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 AM."
The guy is puzzled and says "If the hours are from 8:00AM. to 4:00PM, then
why do you want me to come in at 10:00 AM?"
"This is a council job" the interviewer replies."For the first two hours we
sit around scratching our bollocks.......no point in you coming in for that."
May the bridges I burn light your way
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CrazyHorse
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