Joke thread
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Winter Hill White
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A primary teacher starts a new job at a school in Bolton, and trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Wanderers' fan. She asks the class to raise their hands if they too are Wanderers' fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?"
Because I'm not a Wanderers fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked: "Well, if you're not a Wanderers fan, then who do you support?"
"I'm a Blackburn fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why are you a Blackburn fan?"
"Because my mum and dad are from Blackburn and my mum is a Blackburn fan and my dad is a Blackburn fan, so I'm a Blackburn fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher, in a obviously annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a Blackburn fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and a car thief, what would you be then?"
"Then," Mary said, "I'd be a Liverpool fan."
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?"
Because I'm not a Wanderers fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked: "Well, if you're not a Wanderers fan, then who do you support?"
"I'm a Blackburn fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why are you a Blackburn fan?"
"Because my mum and dad are from Blackburn and my mum is a Blackburn fan and my dad is a Blackburn fan, so I'm a Blackburn fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher, in a obviously annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a Blackburn fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and a car thief, what would you be then?"
"Then," Mary said, "I'd be a Liverpool fan."
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Montreal Wanderer
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- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 12:45 am
- Location: Montreal, Canada
My staff sent me this 
Who should be in charge??
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story?
The asshole is usually in charge !!
If you don't send this to at least 8 people.... who gives a Shit!!
Who should be in charge??
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story?
The asshole is usually in charge !!
If you don't send this to at least 8 people.... who gives a Shit!!
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
Old joke alert...
A wedding occurred just outside Glasgow. To keep tradition going, everyone got extremely drunk and the bride's and groom's families had a storming row and begin wrecking the reception room and generally kicking the living daylights out of each other. The police get called in to break up the fight.
The following week, all members of both families appeared in Court. The fight continues in the courtroom until the Judge finally brings calm with the use of his gavel, shouting, "Silence in Court!".
The courtroom goes silent and Davie, the Best Man, stands up and says, "judge, I was the best Man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened".
The Judge agrees and asks Davie to take the stand.
Davie begins his explanation by telling the court that it is tradition at a Scottish wedding that the Best Man gets the first dance with the bride.
The judge says, "Okay. Continue." "Well, said Davie, "after I had finished the first dance, the music kept going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music kept going and I was dancing to the third song when all of a sudden - the groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the bride an unmerciful kick right between her legs."
Shocked, the judge instantly responded, God, that must have hurt!" "Hurt?" Davie replies, "He broke three of my fingers!"
A wedding occurred just outside Glasgow. To keep tradition going, everyone got extremely drunk and the bride's and groom's families had a storming row and begin wrecking the reception room and generally kicking the living daylights out of each other. The police get called in to break up the fight.
The following week, all members of both families appeared in Court. The fight continues in the courtroom until the Judge finally brings calm with the use of his gavel, shouting, "Silence in Court!".
The courtroom goes silent and Davie, the Best Man, stands up and says, "judge, I was the best Man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened".
The Judge agrees and asks Davie to take the stand.
Davie begins his explanation by telling the court that it is tradition at a Scottish wedding that the Best Man gets the first dance with the bride.
The judge says, "Okay. Continue." "Well, said Davie, "after I had finished the first dance, the music kept going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music kept going and I was dancing to the third song when all of a sudden - the groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the bride an unmerciful kick right between her legs."
Shocked, the judge instantly responded, God, that must have hurt!" "Hurt?" Davie replies, "He broke three of my fingers!"
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CrazyHorse
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It is just before Scotland v Brazil in the next World Cup Group game.
Ronaldino goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his team-mates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're shite and we can't be bothered".
Ronaldino looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."
So Ronaldino goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few jars. After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on.
A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Brazil 1 - Scotland 0 (Ronaldino 10 minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on".
They put the teletext on. "Result from the Stadium "Brazil 1 (Ronaldino 10 minutes) - Scotland 1 (Angus 89 minutes)".
They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Ronaldino. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands.
He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down." "Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!"
"No, No, I have, I've let you down... I got sent off after 12 minutes"
Ronaldino goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his team-mates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're shite and we can't be bothered".
Ronaldino looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."
So Ronaldino goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few jars. After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on.
A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Brazil 1 - Scotland 0 (Ronaldino 10 minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on".
They put the teletext on. "Result from the Stadium "Brazil 1 (Ronaldino 10 minutes) - Scotland 1 (Angus 89 minutes)".
They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Ronaldino. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands.
He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down." "Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!"
"No, No, I have, I've let you down... I got sent off after 12 minutes"
Businesswoman of the year.
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Montreal Wanderer
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- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 12:45 am
- Location: Montreal, Canada
A bit like who's on first - made me laugh. Bush and Condoleezza
http://www.otoons.com/politics/condoleezza.htm
http://www.otoons.com/politics/condoleezza.htm
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
Is that the 'Hu is the president of China' one, Monty?Montreal Wanderer wrote:A bit like who's on first - made me laugh. Bush and Condoleezza
http://www.otoons.com/politics/condoleezza.htm
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Montreal Wanderer
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- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 12:45 am
- Location: Montreal, Canada
Yep - was it posted before?blurred wrote:Is that the 'Hu is the president of China' one, Monty?Montreal Wanderer wrote:A bit like who's on first - made me laugh. Bush and Condoleezza
http://www.otoons.com/politics/condoleezza.htm
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
Nah, I've just happened to come across it last year sometime (or possibly before). Can't beat a bit of 'who' humourMontreal Wanderer wrote:Yep - was it posted before?blurred wrote:Is that the 'Hu is the president of China' one, Monty?Montreal Wanderer wrote:A bit like who's on first - made me laugh. Bush and Condoleezza
http://www.otoons.com/politics/condoleezza.htm
I came across an audio file of it, actually, rather than the script. Shall see if I can dig that one out, as it works better hearing it, I reckon
Last edited by blurred on Wed May 31, 2006 4:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Just read that one made me cry with laughter!!!blurred wrote:Is that the 'Hu is the president of China' one, Monty?Montreal Wanderer wrote:A bit like who's on first - made me laugh. Bush and Condoleezza
http://www.otoons.com/politics/condoleezza.htm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
http://www.bcbfc.co.uk/ Bolton County Bears FC
An Irishman named O'Malley went to his doctor after a long illness.
The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked O'Malley in the eye, and said, "I've some bad news for you. You have cancer, and it can't be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month to live."
O'Malley was shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character. He managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room. There, he saw his son who had been waiting. O'Malley said, "Well son, we Irish celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer, and I've been given a short time to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints."
After three or four pints, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of O'Malley's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. O'Malley told them that the Irish celebrate the good and the bad. He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends, "I've only got a few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS."
The friends gave O'Malley their condolences, and they had a couple more beers.
After his friends left, O'Malley's son leaned over and whispered his confusion. "Dad. I though you said that you were dying from cancer??? You just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS!"
O'Malley said, "I am dying of cancer, son. I just don't want any of them sleeping with your mother after I'm gone."
The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked O'Malley in the eye, and said, "I've some bad news for you. You have cancer, and it can't be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month to live."
O'Malley was shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character. He managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room. There, he saw his son who had been waiting. O'Malley said, "Well son, we Irish celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer, and I've been given a short time to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints."
After three or four pints, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of O'Malley's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. O'Malley told them that the Irish celebrate the good and the bad. He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends, "I've only got a few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS."
The friends gave O'Malley their condolences, and they had a couple more beers.
After his friends left, O'Malley's son leaned over and whispered his confusion. "Dad. I though you said that you were dying from cancer??? You just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS!"
O'Malley said, "I am dying of cancer, son. I just don't want any of them sleeping with your mother after I'm gone."
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TANGODANCER
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- Joined: Fri Sep 02, 2005 9:35 pm
- Location: Between the Regency and the Rubaiyat and forever trying to light penny candles from stars.
Patrick: "Did I tell ter we just had a baby boy Michael?"
Michael: "Sure and that's wonderful, and what are you calling him?"
Patrick: "Havent't a clue yet. Any good ideas?"
Michael: "Well, our three were born in May, June and December so we called them May, June and Noel, like the time they were born you know"
Patrick: "Sure and that's a swell idea Michael.
Three weeks later
Michael: Hello there Patrick. How's the boy and what did you call him?"
Patrick: Well, I told then wife about your idea and she said it was great"
Michael: So what did you call him then?"
Patrick: "Pancake"
Michael: "Sure and that's wonderful, and what are you calling him?"
Patrick: "Havent't a clue yet. Any good ideas?"
Michael: "Well, our three were born in May, June and December so we called them May, June and Noel, like the time they were born you know"
Patrick: "Sure and that's a swell idea Michael.
Three weeks later
Michael: Hello there Patrick. How's the boy and what did you call him?"
Patrick: Well, I told then wife about your idea and she said it was great"
Michael: So what did you call him then?"
Patrick: "Pancake"
Si Deus pro nobis, quis contra nos?
An old one with a new twist ;-
Three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I am from Bolton University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent," They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words," I am from the Gartside School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.
The last one, a blonde Evetonian, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Liverpool and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna electrocute anybody if you don't plug this thing in."
Three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I am from Bolton University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent," They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words," I am from the Gartside School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.
The last one, a blonde Evetonian, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Liverpool and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna electrocute anybody if you don't plug this thing in."
Depression is just a state of mind, supporting Bolton is also a state of mind hence supporting Bolton must be depressing QED
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Montreal Wanderer
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- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 12:45 am
- Location: Montreal, Canada
At the US War College, a General is a guest lecturer and tells the class of
officers that the session will focus on potential problems and the resulting
strategies.
One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, "Will
we have to fight in a World War Three, Sir?"
"Yes, gentlemen, it looks like you will," answers the General.
"And who will be our enemy, General?" another officer asks.
"The likelihood is that it will be China."
The class is attentive , and finally one officer asks, "But General, we are
250 million people and they are about 2.5 billion. How can we possibly win?"
"Well," replies the General, "Think about it. In modern war, it is not the
quantity, but the quality that is the key. For example, in the Middle East,
5 million Jews have been fighting against 50 million Arabs, and the Jews
have been victorious every time."
But sir," asks the inquisitive officer, "Do we have enough Jews?
officers that the session will focus on potential problems and the resulting
strategies.
One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, "Will
we have to fight in a World War Three, Sir?"
"Yes, gentlemen, it looks like you will," answers the General.
"And who will be our enemy, General?" another officer asks.
"The likelihood is that it will be China."
The class is attentive , and finally one officer asks, "But General, we are
250 million people and they are about 2.5 billion. How can we possibly win?"
"Well," replies the General, "Think about it. In modern war, it is not the
quantity, but the quality that is the key. For example, in the Middle East,
5 million Jews have been fighting against 50 million Arabs, and the Jews
have been victorious every time."
But sir," asks the inquisitive officer, "Do we have enough Jews?
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
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communistworkethic
- Legend
- Posts: 7404
- Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 9:08 pm
- Location: in your wife's dreams
- Contact:
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long,
Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard
heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing
some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is
about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a
Look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!",
says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby
tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees
Him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that
Something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills
the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,
monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving
canine!
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back
and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the
dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't
seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says.
"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me
another leopard!
Moral of this story...
Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome
youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and
experience.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long,
Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard
heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing
some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is
about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a
Look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!",
says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby
tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees
Him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that
Something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills
the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,
monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving
canine!
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back
and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the
dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't
seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says.
"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me
another leopard!
Moral of this story...
Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome
youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and
experience.
power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely
kevin nolan is so fat, that when he sits around the house he sits around the house
kevin nolan is so fat, that when he sits around the house he sits around the house
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Montreal Wanderer
- Immortal
- Posts: 12942
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 12:45 am
- Location: Montreal, Canada
When Insults had Class
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -
Winston Churchill
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston
Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" -
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading
it." - Moses Hadas
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I
know." - Abraham Lincoln
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho
Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved
of it." - Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar
Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a
friend... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is
one." - Winston Churchill, in reply
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -
Winston Churchill
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston
Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" -
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading
it." - Moses Hadas
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I
know." - Abraham Lincoln
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho
Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved
of it." - Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar
Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a
friend... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is
one." - Winston Churchill, in reply
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
FEMALE POEM
I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen all day long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, not be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind,
And knows what to answer to" how big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me with no end,
And forever be my very best friend.
MALE POEM
I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs,
Who owns an off licence and a soccer team.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit
I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen all day long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, not be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind,
And knows what to answer to" how big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me with no end,
And forever be my very best friend.
MALE POEM
I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs,
Who owns an off licence and a soccer team.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit
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