Joke thread

If you have a life outside of BWFC, then this is the place to tell us all about your toilet habits, and those bizarre fetishes.......

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Bruce Rioja
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Bruce Rioja » Fri Dec 11, 2015 6:08 pm

thebish wrote:Image
:lol:
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Re: Joke thread

Post by thebish » Sat Dec 12, 2015 12:21 pm

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Hoboh » Sun Dec 13, 2015 5:08 pm

thebish wrote:Image
You want to be careful in shops with your camera after that guy got caught in Boots :lol:
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Re: Joke thread

Post by thebish » Mon Dec 14, 2015 8:09 pm

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Re: Joke thread

Post by TANGODANCER » Tue Dec 15, 2015 10:35 am

Bloke gets a text from his wife on a cold winter morning:
"Can't open windows, completely frozen?"
He replies:
"Okay, pour luke-warm warm water around the edges then gently tap all round with a hammer. That should do it."
Fifteen minutes later, another text:
"Computer really fxcked now"
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Re: Joke thread

Post by jonnycooper » Wed Dec 16, 2015 2:09 am

TANGODANCER wrote:Bloke gets a text from his wife on a cold winter morning:
"Can't open windows, completely frozen?"
He replies:
"Okay, pour luke-warm warm water around the edges then gently tap all round with a hammer. That should do it."
Fifteen minutes later, another text:
"Computer really fxcked now"
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Joke thread

Post by thebish » Wed Dec 16, 2015 8:14 pm

Emo Phillips...

So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.

:D
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Bruce Rioja » Wed Dec 16, 2015 9:22 pm

thebish wrote:Emo Phillips...

So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.

:D
Good God. Is Phillips still pinching a living as a comedian? I thought/hoped he's disappeared 20 + odd years ago.
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Worthy4England » Wed Dec 16, 2015 9:42 pm

Bruce Rioja wrote:
thebish wrote:Emo Phillips...

So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.

:D
Good God. Is Phillips still pinching a living as a comedian? I thought/hoped he's disappeared 20 + odd years ago.
I was thinking that too. :D
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Re: Joke thread

Post by thebish » Thu Dec 17, 2015 6:49 pm

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Thu Dec 17, 2015 6:58 pm

thebish wrote:Image
I like that. It gives me a warm curmudgeonly glow, and confers upon me an air of restrained superiority that has made my Christmas. I shall distribute it around the office on Monday and thoroughly enjoy the look of slightly annoyed bafflement that I know it will engender.
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Enoch » Sat Dec 19, 2015 7:45 pm

I used to play in a Jamaican reggae band.

Well I say play, I was on triangle.

I just used to just stand at the back and ting.
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Re: Joke thread

Post by clapton is god » Sat Dec 19, 2015 9:24 pm

My German Christmas cakes gone. Stollen.
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Re: Joke thread

Post by thebish » Sun Dec 20, 2015 12:31 am

clapton is god wrote:My German Christmas cakes gone. Stollen.
:D
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Re: Joke thread

Post by LeverEnd » Sun Dec 20, 2015 6:26 pm

Bought the missus a fridge for Christmas.

You should've seen her face light up when she opened it.
...
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Sun Dec 20, 2015 6:33 pm

LeverEnd wrote:Bought the missus a fridge for Christmas.

You should've seen her face light up when she opened it.
You are joking aren't you. There are laws about plagiarism...
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Sun Dec 20, 2015 6:46 pm

Why are Lobster Thermidor and Oral Sex very similar?


Because you get neither at home.
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Bruce Rioja » Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:34 pm

Lost Leopard Spot wrote:Why are Lobster Thermidor and Oral Sex very similar?


Because you get neither at home.

There are also laws about dragging up jokes first told in the Cambrian era. ;)
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:37 pm

Bruce Rioja wrote:
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:Why are Lobster Thermidor and Oral Sex very similar?


Because you get neither at home.

There are also laws about dragging up jokes first told in the Cambrian era. ;)
Cambrian equals Modern to some of us... :D
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Re: Joke thread

Post by TANGODANCER » Sun Dec 20, 2015 8:00 pm

Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Bruce Rioja wrote:
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:Why are Lobster Thermidor and Oral Sex very similar?


Because you get neither at home.

There are also laws about dragging up jokes first told in the Cambrian era. ;)
Cambrian equals Modern to some of us... :D
Used to equal soft drinks around Bolton way. :wink:
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