The Guardian World Cup Guide

ratbert · Post by **ratbert** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 1:53 pm

Just been leafing through the 100 page giveaway in today's issue (I need it for the media jobs section, please don't throw anything at me). Each preview of the team comes with a section titled 'player most likely to move to Bolton.' Here are examples of what each entry is like:

Ghana
'...the youngest side in Germany, so there'll be slim pickings for Big Sam'

Czech Republic
'Jan Koller, the thinking man's Duncan Ferguson, would be the ultimate choice for Jussi Jaaskelainen's hoofs, except that, as the republic's record scorer, he might be too prolific for Sam's tastes.'

France
'With a combined age of 163, Zindane and Thuram would not look out of place at The Reebok, with Djorkaeff having already blazed that particulat trail in his bathchair... maybe Patrick Viera will too, once the penny finally drops that he long ago shot his bolt.'

South Korea
Ahn Jung-hwan: 'how good is he on the long throw?'

Saudi Arabia
Hamad Al-Montashari: 'could hoof it long for Kevin Davies easily enough.'

The question is, did we make this kind of thing worse by complaining so much?

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 2:02 pm

Let them all have a go. We might just be the ones making them eat their words this season. F--- em!

Steady · Post by **Steady** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 2:14 pm

It makes me sick.

How they think that this pathetic, childish, bullying sh1te is acceptable behaviour for a national newspaper I just don't understand. They need to take a long hard look at themselves, whichever small minded southern/Manc prick wrote this.

Montreal Wanderer · Post by **Montreal Wanderer** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 2:21 pm

I find this hard to believe but will take Ratty's word for it.
On the other hand it is kind of amusing. All those emails complaining about Louise Taylor finally paid off with some national publicity.

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 2:22 pm

In every one it's "ageing, hasbeen" or "lumbering long ball grandad". Yawn.

though " stern john is better than Henrik Pedersen. But then again who isn't?" is quite accurate.

Dr Hotdog · Post by **Dr Hotdog** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 2:22 pm

i find it mostly hilarious, especially the trinidad and tobago quip.

ratbert · Post by **ratbert** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 2:39 pm

Montreal Wanderer wrote:I find this hard to believe but will take Ratty's word for it.

Oh it's real!

Can the club sue for this I wonder?

Backgammon · Post by **Backgammon** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 3:11 pm

That's unbelievable....

Why don't they pick on someone else!

Why not try writing a section titled 'player most likely to move to Chelsea'.

Ghana

Michael Essien... Probably the team's most talented midfielder.. Oh, hang on, they've already bought him.

Germany

Michael Ballack. Probably the team's biggest talisman.. Oh, sorry... They've bought him as well

Ukraine

Andrea Shevchenko. Arguably the best striker in the world.. Oops, sorry... My fault.. They've already got him.

Nah, doesn't work as well... No wonder they felt it was easier to pick on the little guy

warthog · Post by **warthog** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 3:18 pm

You can read what seems to be the outpourings of a spotty, fifteen year old, educationally subnormal chav here.

http://football.guardian.co.uk/worldcup ... 03,00.html

Click on each team at the top of the page. Scroll down the resulting page and you'll find a link which say Introducing ... followed by the team name.

Methinks we need to get our heads together and plot a suitable revenge.

50sQuiff · Post by **50sQuiff** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 3:31 pm

Wow, I did wind them up didn't I? I'll wear this one as a badge of honour.

blurred · Post by **blurred** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 3:52 pm

ratbert wrote:The question is, did we make this kind of thing worse by complaining so much?

Outsiders opinion? Yes.

Every club has their stereotypes that they have to live up to (Liverpool being nominally an extension of Spain, for example, or Chelsea being rife with cheats and primadonnas) and the more people try and defend themselves against something the more noise their detractors make. You need only look at the sometimes ridiculous arguments in the F365 mailbox for evidence of this.

ratbert · Post by **ratbert** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 4:00 pm

warthog wrote:Methinks we need to get our heads together and plot a suitable revenge.

This is where you'll all find the Guardian's World Cup blog:

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/worldcup06/

Get spamming guys and gals!!

50sQuiff · Post by **50sQuiff** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 4:17 pm

Don't whine on their blog please. It's just what they want you to do.

ratbert · Post by **ratbert** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 4:43 pm

We don't have to whine. Just anarchic silliness will spoil enough.

50sQuiff · Post by **50sQuiff** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 7:22 pm

I've just read most of it and it really is absolutely dreadful. It's tasteless, xenophobic, unfunny and so hackneyed it's untrue.

It's great to see the Guardian World Cup blog with 0-5 comments for most articles. I hate their vapid attempts to emulate new media.

Soldier_Of_The_White_Army · Post by **Soldier_Of_The_White_Army** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 8:03 pm

Couldn't give a txss, as long as we keep making them throw up on humble pie!!!

hisroyalgingerness · Post by **hisroyalgingerness** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 11:22 am

fecking disgrace, tossers. I'd say it smacks of LT but it's too clever for her