England World Cup Humour

[plodder]

You may/may not find this funny. Got me chuckling at 5am this morning though.

Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog?
A: Because they can't hold on to a lead.

Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?
A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.

Oxo were going to bring out a World Cup 2006 Commemorative cube painted
red, white and blue in honour of the England squad. But it was a
laughing stock and crumbled in the box.

Q: What is common between between a 3 pin plug and the England football
team?
A: They are both useless in Europe!

Q: What's the difference between OJ Simpson and England?
A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence

Rumours that David Beckham was seen successfully seducing a young woman
in a Spanish nightclub with a one-liner have been completely refuted by
the English FA. Adam Crozier, chief publicity officer stated: "I find it
totally preposterous to suggest that one of our players could make a
successful pass to or at anyone."

Q: What's the difference between the English and a jet engine?
A: A jet engine eventually stops whining.

Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and Wayne
Rooney. You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A: Shoot Wayne Rooney - twice.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead
English football fan on the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Did you hear about the UK politician who was found dead in an English
football jersey? The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in
order to save his family from the embarrassment.

Did you hear that the UK Post Office has had to recall their latest
stamps with pictures of English football players on them. People
couldn't figure out which side to spit on.