Joke thread
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- Bruce Rioja
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Re: Joke thread
You want to be careful in shops with your camera after that guy got caught in Bootsthebish wrote:
- TANGODANCER
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Re: Joke thread
Bloke gets a text from his wife on a cold winter morning:
"Can't open windows, completely frozen?"
He replies:
"Okay, pour luke-warm warm water around the edges then gently tap all round with a hammer. That should do it."
Fifteen minutes later, another text:
"Computer really fxcked now"
"Can't open windows, completely frozen?"
He replies:
"Okay, pour luke-warm warm water around the edges then gently tap all round with a hammer. That should do it."
Fifteen minutes later, another text:
"Computer really fxcked now"
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Re: Joke thread
TANGODANCER wrote:Bloke gets a text from his wife on a cold winter morning:
"Can't open windows, completely frozen?"
He replies:
"Okay, pour luke-warm warm water around the edges then gently tap all round with a hammer. That should do it."
Fifteen minutes later, another text:
"Computer really fxcked now"
Re: Joke thread
Emo Phillips...
So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.
So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.
- Bruce Rioja
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Re: Joke thread
Good God. Is Phillips still pinching a living as a comedian? I thought/hoped he's disappeared 20 + odd years ago.thebish wrote:Emo Phillips...
So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.
May the bridges I burn light your way
- Worthy4England
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Re: Joke thread
I was thinking that too.Bruce Rioja wrote:Good God. Is Phillips still pinching a living as a comedian? I thought/hoped he's disappeared 20 + odd years ago.thebish wrote:Emo Phillips...
So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.
- Lost Leopard Spot
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Re: Joke thread
I like that. It gives me a warm curmudgeonly glow, and confers upon me an air of restrained superiority that has made my Christmas. I shall distribute it around the office on Monday and thoroughly enjoy the look of slightly annoyed bafflement that I know it will engender.thebish wrote:
That's not a leopard!
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Re: Joke thread
I used to play in a Jamaican reggae band.
Well I say play, I was on triangle.
I just used to just stand at the back and ting.
Well I say play, I was on triangle.
I just used to just stand at the back and ting.
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Re: Joke thread
Bought the missus a fridge for Christmas.
You should've seen her face light up when she opened it.
You should've seen her face light up when she opened it.
...
- Lost Leopard Spot
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Re: Joke thread
You are joking aren't you. There are laws about plagiarism...LeverEnd wrote:Bought the missus a fridge for Christmas.
You should've seen her face light up when she opened it.
That's not a leopard!
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- Lost Leopard Spot
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Re: Joke thread
Why are Lobster Thermidor and Oral Sex very similar?
Because you get neither at home.
Because you get neither at home.
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- Bruce Rioja
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Re: Joke thread
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:Why are Lobster Thermidor and Oral Sex very similar?
Because you get neither at home.
There are also laws about dragging up jokes first told in the Cambrian era.
May the bridges I burn light your way
- Lost Leopard Spot
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Re: Joke thread
Cambrian equals Modern to some of us...Bruce Rioja wrote:Lost Leopard Spot wrote:Why are Lobster Thermidor and Oral Sex very similar?
Because you get neither at home.
There are also laws about dragging up jokes first told in the Cambrian era.
That's not a leopard!
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- TANGODANCER
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Re: Joke thread
Used to equal soft drinks around Bolton way.Lost Leopard Spot wrote:Cambrian equals Modern to some of us...Bruce Rioja wrote:Lost Leopard Spot wrote:Why are Lobster Thermidor and Oral Sex very similar?
Because you get neither at home.
There are also laws about dragging up jokes first told in the Cambrian era.
Si Deus pro nobis, quis contra nos?
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