Joke thread

If you have a life outside of BWFC, then this is the place to tell us all about your toilet habits, and those bizarre fetishes.......

Moderator: Zulus Thousand of em

Post Reply
User avatar
Bruce Rioja
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 38742
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 9:19 pm
Location: Drifting into the arena of the unwell.

Re: Joke thread

Post by Bruce Rioja » Sun Dec 20, 2015 8:26 pm

Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Bruce Rioja wrote:
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:Why are Lobster Thermidor and Oral Sex very similar?


Because you get neither at home.

There are also laws about dragging up jokes first told in the Cambrian era. ;)
Cambrian equals Modern to some of us... :D
Can I have your backdated gin quota then please? :D
May the bridges I burn light your way

User avatar
Montreal Wanderer
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 12940
Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 12:45 am
Location: Montreal, Canada

Re: Joke thread

Post by Montreal Wanderer » Sun Dec 20, 2015 8:52 pm

Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
LeverEnd wrote:Bought the missus a fridge for Christmas.

You should've seen her face light up when she opened it.
You are joking aren't you. There are laws about plagiarism...
Do you think the General might sue?
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.

User avatar
Lost Leopard Spot
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 18436
Joined: Wed May 09, 2012 11:14 am
Location: In the long grass, hunting for a watering hole.

Re: Joke thread

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Sun Dec 20, 2015 9:02 pm

Montreal Wanderer wrote:
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
LeverEnd wrote:Bought the missus a fridge for Christmas.

You should've seen her face light up when she opened it.
You are joking aren't you. There are laws about plagiarism...
Do you think the General might sue?
It's a major possibility
That's not a leopard!
頑張ってください

User avatar
Montreal Wanderer
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 12940
Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 12:45 am
Location: Montreal, Canada

Re: Joke thread

Post by Montreal Wanderer » Sun Dec 20, 2015 9:08 pm

Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Montreal Wanderer wrote:
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
LeverEnd wrote:Bought the missus a fridge for Christmas.

You should've seen her face light up when she opened it.
You are joking aren't you. There are laws about plagiarism...
Do you think the General might sue?
It's a major possibility
Will he insist on Corporal punishment?
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.

wigan white
Reliable
Reliable
Posts: 987
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2005 9:51 am
Location: Mordor

Re: Joke thread

Post by wigan white » Sun Dec 20, 2015 9:32 pm

Montreal Wanderer wrote:
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Montreal Wanderer wrote:
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
LeverEnd wrote:Bought the missus a fridge for Christmas.

You should've seen her face light up when she opened it.
You are joking aren't you. There are laws about plagiarism...
Do you think the General might sue?
It's a major possibility
Will he insist on Corporal punishment?
He could declare Marshall law.
Image

User avatar
Lost Leopard Spot
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 18436
Joined: Wed May 09, 2012 11:14 am
Location: In the long grass, hunting for a watering hole.

Re: Joke thread

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Sun Dec 20, 2015 10:01 pm

wigan white wrote:
Montreal Wanderer wrote:
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Montreal Wanderer wrote: Do you think the General might sue?
It's a major possibility
Will he insist on Corporal punishment?
He could declare Marshall law.
Oi, you lot: This started out as a Private joke
That's not a leopard!
頑張ってください

thebish
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 37589
Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2006 9:01 am
Location: In my armchair

Re: Joke thread

Post by thebish » Mon Dec 21, 2015 9:32 am

Image

User avatar
Montreal Wanderer
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 12940
Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 12:45 am
Location: Montreal, Canada

Re: Joke thread

Post by Montreal Wanderer » Mon Dec 21, 2015 4:58 pm

Image
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.

LeverEnd
Legend
Legend
Posts: 9969
Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2012 11:18 pm
Location: Dirty Leeds

Re: Joke thread

Post by LeverEnd » Mon Dec 21, 2015 8:40 pm

Ahhh! Just seen what you're on about. Mate posted it Facebook, maybe he reads the forum too.
Apologies general!
...

User avatar
Lost Leopard Spot
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 18436
Joined: Wed May 09, 2012 11:14 am
Location: In the long grass, hunting for a watering hole.

Re: Joke thread

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Mon Dec 21, 2015 9:46 pm

LeverEnd wrote:Ahhh! Just seen what you're on about. Mate posted it Facebook, maybe he reads the forum too.
Apologies general!
:D

Worry not. It was better second time around...
That's not a leopard!
頑張ってください

Burnden Paddock
Passionate
Passionate
Posts: 3733
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2011 8:14 pm
Location: Bury

Re: Joke thread

Post by Burnden Paddock » Wed Dec 23, 2015 9:37 am

I was in bed with a girl and she rolled over and whispered 'if you turn out the bedside lamp I'll take it up the arse'

If I'm honest, I probably should have let the bulb cool down first....

User avatar
Worthy4England
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 32273
Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 6:45 pm

Re: Joke thread

Post by Worthy4England » Wed Dec 23, 2015 1:29 pm

Burnden Paddock wrote:I was in bed with a girl and she rolled over and whispered 'if you turn out the bedside lamp I'll take it up the arse'

If I'm honest, I probably should have let the bulb cool down first....
:lol:

Zulus Thousand of em
Icon
Icon
Posts: 5043
Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2005 9:58 am
Location: 200 miles darn sarf

Re: Joke thread

Post by Zulus Thousand of em » Thu Dec 24, 2015 6:57 am

Lovely!
God's country! God's county!
God's town! God's team!!
How can we fail?

COME ON YOU WHITES!!

thebish
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 37589
Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2006 9:01 am
Location: In my armchair

Re: Joke thread

Post by thebish » Thu Dec 24, 2015 3:12 pm

Image

User avatar
Hoboh
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 13303
Joined: Wed May 31, 2006 8:19 am

Re: Joke thread

Post by Hoboh » Thu Dec 24, 2015 10:05 pm

thebish wrote:Image
:lol: :lol: :lol:

General Mannerheim
Legend
Legend
Posts: 6343
Joined: Wed Oct 18, 2006 12:45 pm

Re: Joke thread

Post by General Mannerheim » Wed Jan 06, 2016 7:49 am

my budgie got out of its cage and shagged the dog!

got some puppies going cheep if anyone is interested....

LeverEnd
Legend
Legend
Posts: 9969
Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2012 11:18 pm
Location: Dirty Leeds

Re: Joke thread

Post by LeverEnd » Wed Jan 06, 2016 6:25 pm

General Mannerheim wrote:my budgie got out of its cage and shagged the dog!

got some puppies going cheep if anyone is interested....
:lol:
I'm nicking that.
...

thebish
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 37589
Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2006 9:01 am
Location: In my armchair

Re: Joke thread

Post by thebish » Mon Jan 11, 2016 11:21 am

:lol:

Image

User avatar
Worthy4England
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 32273
Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 6:45 pm

Re: Joke thread

Post by Worthy4England » Mon Jan 11, 2016 11:43 am

^^ I think I first heard that one, when I read the attached Ladybird book!

LeverEnd
Legend
Legend
Posts: 9969
Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2012 11:18 pm
Location: Dirty Leeds

Re: Joke thread

Post by LeverEnd » Tue Jan 12, 2016 11:06 am

My wife is a mute. She communicates by embroidery. It's her own version of sign language, sew to speak...
...

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 63 guests