Joke thread

[thebish]

[Worthy4England]

I think Bobo has his mane down for that, too!

[CrazyHorse]

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.
Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.
Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.
'I would like it infrequently' she replied.
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, leaned over towards her and whispered -
'Is that one word or two?'

[bobo the clown]

I think Bobo has his mane down for that, too!

f'cough !!

[Enoch]

I saw a parked car with a bumper sticker that read "I miss Liverpool".

Smashed a window, nicked the radio and left a note saying "Hope this helps"

[Worthy4England]

I saw a parked car with a bumper sticker that read "I miss Liverpool".

Smashed a window, nicked the radio and left a note saying "Hope this helps"

Pfft. No bricks under the wheels??

[TANGODANCER]

I saw a parked car with a bumper sticker that read "I miss Liverpool".

Smashed a window, nicked the radio and left a note saying "Hope this helps"

Pfft. No bricks under the wheels??

Since they became the city of culture they use library books now..

[thebish]

[Lost Leopard Spot]

^ The new Labour intake.

[thebish]

I just bought Bonnie Tyler's 'Goalkeeping Heroes' on DVD ...

It's just totally clips of Joe Hart…..

[Lost Leopard Spot]

I just bought Bonnie Tyler's 'Goalkeeping Heroes' on DVD ...

It's just totally clips of Joe Hart…..

[Enoch]

I reported a dead woman lying in a field to the police. They asked 'How did you find her body?'

I said, 'Tits were ok, bit too much rigor round the bullet.'

[LeverEnd]

I reported a dead woman lying in a field to the police. They asked 'How did you find her body?'

I said, 'Tits were ok, bit too much rigor round the bullet.'

You horrible bastard. I like it.

[Enoch]

I have a quiet admiration for Lance Armstrong, it's no mean feat that he won 7 tours whilst on drugs.

When I was on drugs I couldn't find my f*cking bike!

[clapton is god]

I've started selling John Lennon memorabilia on eBay.

Imagine all the PayPal.

[thebish]

I've started selling John Lennon memorabilia on eBay.

Imagine all the PayPal.

[thebish]

[Lost Leopard Spot]

graph diagram.
What's education coming to?

[Enoch]

It's taking forever to find a comfortable mattress, but I won't rest until I do.

[Burnden Paddock]

I'm on holiday in France at the moment. This morning I ordered mushrooms on toast.

After all, it is the breakfast of champignons!