"Don't sit in the corner under the scoreboard unless you're a) under 18 b) illiterate c) up for fighting but running away when it comes down to it."

Did Bolton and Bournemouth go halves on a container load of teeny-gimps? We've got loads of them...

Hello! Was wondering if you lot could give me some advice where to sit? My brother in law and I are being good boys and have agreed to spend Christmas with the in laws. As a trade we're off to the football, for heaven's sake, where else would a bloke be on Boxing Day? We don't want to sit with the B...