Search found 2369 matches

by clapton is god
Thu Mar 10, 2016 7:08 pm
Forum: General Banter
Topic: Joke thread
Replies: 3701
Views: 514491

Re: Joke thread

Jesus and the disciples go into a restaurant and Jesus says "Can I have a table for 26 please?"

The maitre 'd says "But there's only 13 of you!"

Jesus says "Well, we all tend to sit on the same side of the table."
by clapton is god
Thu Mar 10, 2016 7:01 pm
Forum: General Banter
Topic: Joke thread
Replies: 3701
Views: 514491

Re: Joke thread

A moth doesn't feel very well so it goes to see a paediatrician.

"I don't feel very well doc. I have no energy and a sore chest."

The paediatrician says "I specialise in children's medicine. You need a GP. Why did you come to me?"

And the moth says "Your light was on."
by clapton is god
Thu Mar 10, 2016 10:26 am
Forum: The Trotters
Topic: Ipswich Town @ The Macron - Tues 8 March 20:00
Replies: 199
Views: 26817

Re: Ipswich Town @ The Macron - Tues 8 March 20:00

ooof https://twitter.com/RHolding95/status/707657838240333825" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; I turned to my mate and said "Did Holding just do a Cruyff turn on his own six yard line?" It's better than it looked live too! I could watch that all day long. Poetry, like that Elmander go...
by clapton is god
Thu Mar 10, 2016 9:08 am
Forum: General Banter
Topic: Joke thread
Replies: 3701
Views: 514491

Re: Joke thread

The police are searching my home, my garage, my shed and my garden for stolen tyres. My wife is leading them around the gaff but I’m just trying to keep a low profile.
by clapton is god
Thu Mar 10, 2016 8:15 am
Forum: The Trotters
Topic: The Burnden Park Disaster - Remembering the 33
Replies: 10
Views: 3963

Re: The Burnden Park Disaster - Remembering the 33

Was more than a minutes silence! We had Abide With Me followed by a piano only playing of same, a minutes silence before kick off, a minutes applause on 33 minutes, the relatives at pitch side before kick off, the relatives doing the half time draw, scrolling names on the TV screen and the team wore...
by clapton is god
Sat Mar 05, 2016 12:59 pm
Forum: General Banter
Topic: Save the Palais Facade..
Replies: 54
Views: 8405

Re: Save the Palais Facade..

Image

The Palais back in the day. this was in Bygone Bolton this morning.
by clapton is god
Sat Mar 05, 2016 9:36 am
Forum: The Trotters
Topic: Sports Shield - New Owners (Probably)
Replies: 696
Views: 88420

Re: Sports Shield - New Owners (Probably)

^ There's a 12yr old lad who sits half a dozen seats from me in the east lower who has such a high pitched voice it makes my ears bleed. Every week I wish his voice would hurry up and break! Actually though he's very knowledgeable and shouts at and cajoles the team from start to finish every week, w...
by clapton is god
Fri Mar 04, 2016 10:14 pm
Forum: General Banter
Topic: Today I'm happy about......
Replies: 9035
Views: 726229

Re: Today I'm happy about......

Yeah! Good choice, well made. Enjoy yourselves!
by clapton is god
Mon Feb 29, 2016 9:02 am
Forum: Other Footy
Topic: It's about time somebody started this thread!
Replies: 610
Views: 84916

Re: It's about time somebody started this thread!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooO6fKhEqrs" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

:D
by clapton is god
Sun Feb 28, 2016 3:40 pm
Forum: Other Footy
Topic: It's about time somebody started this thread!
Replies: 610
Views: 84916

Re: It's about time somebody started this thread!

Ha ha! Van Gaal just did a Frannie Lee and threw himself on the ground to demonstrate to the 3rd umpire that an opponent had dived! First time I've seen him off the bench all season!
by clapton is god
Sun Feb 28, 2016 12:56 pm
Forum: General Banter
Topic: This weeks RIP's........
Replies: 1801
Views: 274309

Re: This weeks RIP's........

Drink! Arse! Feck! Father Jack has died!
by clapton is god
Fri Feb 26, 2016 1:08 pm
Forum: General Banter
Topic: Gruntled
Replies: 111
Views: 11198

Re: Gruntled

"Am I disfigured?"

"No, you were never figured in the first place."

That kind of thing?
by clapton is god
Wed Feb 24, 2016 6:33 pm
Forum: General Banter
Topic: Joke thread
Replies: 3701
Views: 514491

Re: Joke thread

...and in a similar dialect kind of way:

A man says to the Bolton vet " I want me cat doctoring."

The vet asks 'Is it a tom?

"No, I've brought it with me."
by clapton is god
Wed Feb 24, 2016 6:30 pm
Forum: General Banter
Topic: Today I'm happy about......
Replies: 9035
Views: 726229

Re: Today I'm happy about......

^ Ooh! I'll have a look if you tell us what to look out for.
by clapton is god
Tue Feb 23, 2016 4:43 pm
Forum: General Banter
Topic: What are you eating and drinking tonight?
Replies: 9624
Views: 571198

Re: What are you eating and drinking tonight?

Anyone any experience of the Beef and Pudding, just off Albert square in Manc? We're having a 'staff meeting' there in a couple of weeks and the menu looks spectaclier but I'd never heard of the place up to a couple of days ago. (edit to add that the Steak & Lobster in the Radisson was more than a b...
by clapton is god
Tue Feb 23, 2016 8:03 am
Forum: General Banter
Topic: General Chit Chat
Replies: 8903
Views: 823625

Re: General Chit Chat

^ I went there occasionally but was nearer to Moss Street (and the cockroaches). I used the roller skating room upstairs more than the pool though. There was a bakers shop almost opposite the building and our Saturday treat as a 10yr old was a swim followed by a freshly baked loaf each, or if at Mos...
by clapton is god
Mon Feb 22, 2016 4:11 pm
Forum: General Banter
Topic: What are you watching tonight?
Replies: 17922
Views: 1199183

Re: What are you watching tonight?

Watched Spectre yesterday. After a numbers of diversions with Daniel Craig in the lead why frankly could have been any Secret Agent, but just happened to be called Bond, this one went back a little (no bad thing for me) and I actually watched it all and enjoyed it. Only bought it based on a recco o...
by clapton is god
Sat Feb 20, 2016 6:08 pm
Forum: General Banter
Topic: What are you eating and drinking tonight?
Replies: 9624
Views: 571198

Re: What are you eating and drinking tonight?

^ yep, I've seen that but not their comments. I've been to el Rincon many times but not in the last three or four years. It did take a sudden and noticeable dip in standard so not surprised.
by clapton is god
Wed Feb 17, 2016 8:24 pm
Forum: General Banter
Topic: Joke thread
Replies: 3701
Views: 514491

Re: Joke thread

John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, ‘Here’s to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me wife!’ That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, ‘I won the prize for the Best toast of the night’ She said, ‘Aye, did ye now. ...
by clapton is god
Wed Feb 17, 2016 6:15 pm
Forum: General Banter
Topic: Where are you going tonight?
Replies: 4947
Views: 431661

Re: Where are you going tonight?

That's a shame, Bruce. It's on to the 27th so still time. Do your best to get there, it's in my top three all time best at the Octagon.