West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

[Montreal Wanderer]

There is something in our nature, possibly the baser part, that allows us to take pleasure in other people’s misfortune. Most fans around the league “fecking hate” our club. They talk of route one, the death of the beautiful game and the thuggish approach of Super Kev. Many would sell their mothers to see us relegated and the angst grows each year as we stick around while others fall. It is amusing to read the bile on the occasions that we beat their team. Yet none of these react more strongly than West Ham fans, none get so high before the game, none crash so deeply after a loss, none have a greater hate for our Kev, and none have had to endure quite so many defeats at the hands of little old Bolton. For this reason, despite a twinge of sympathy for the eminently sensible Fozzy, I seem to derive greater pleasure from West Ham misfortunes when playing us than other teams, enjoy reading KUMB more than other forums (fora if you prefer), and even find the Spy in better form with them than others (though there are teams I dislike far more than them). I consider this a flaw in my character and should see a psychologist if they are not all busy with West Ham – er – strikers.

Yes, I believe the term is 'Spammerfreude'.

Indeed. Or schadenirons. It is one of the German language's better contributions to English.

[woodgate39]

Thank you for beating these violent milwall fighting relegation candidates

[Gary the Enfield]

Thank you for beating these violent milwall fighting relegation candidates

'salright pal. Be your turn soon.

[woodgate39]

Thank you for beating these violent milwall fighting relegation candidates

'salright pal. Be your turn soon.

Lets wait and see

[Gary the Enfield]

Thank you for beating these violent milwall fighting relegation candidates

'salright pal. Be your turn soon.

Lets wait and see

You're pilayers are going to be very busy in sampions league.

Have you got all eight shirts now you've qualified?

[Zulus Thousand of em]

Just watched 'em on ESPN. My god, how shit are they?

[TKIZ!]

Looks like Carlton Cole could be on his way out of Upton Park and on his way to Anfield. Deserting a sinking ship?

[jimbo]

Looks like Carlton Cole could be on his way out of Upton Park and on his way to Anfield. Deserting a sinking ship?

Bit like selling your ticket for the Titanic and crossing on the Lusitania instead though aint it?

[hisroyalgingerness]

This made me smile, a bit. Karen Brady's column in't Sun

A LATE call from an agent, asking me if he is going to be paid anything from my club as he put Victor Obinna to us first.

I am confused and asked to whom and when he put the player forward.

The reply was: "I sent you a text saying I thought he was a good player three weeks ago?" I told him if that qualified for a payment I would send Garry Cook of Manchester City a list of 900 players on the basis if he ever took one he would owe me.

"Well, how do I protect myself from suggesting a player to you that you go on to sign without involving me?"

"Easy," I say. "Don't f*****g text me."

[RandomHero]

Looks like Carlton Cole could be on his way out of Upton Park and on his way to Anfield. Deserting a sinking ship?

Recently said he's happy at West Ham. Sadly a few idots at Upton Park boo him and get rid of him, thinking we can attract somebody better. Just like we have done in the past with the likes of Harewood, Zamora, Panstil, Ethrington, Collins, Konchesky to name just a few. As for Cole I say keep him and sell Parker to Spurs for 2-3 Million with Keane and maybe a Jenas, Bentley or fringe midfield player to replace Parker. If Parker wanted to stay with us long term he would have signed the deal we have offered him.

[bobo the clown]

Looks like Carlton Cole could be on his way out of Upton Park and on his way to Anfield. Deserting a sinking ship?

Recently said he's happy at West Ham. Sadly a few idots at Upton Park boo him and get rid of him, thinking we can attract somebody better. Just like we have done in the past with the likes of Harewood, Zamora, Panstil, Ethrington, Collins, Konchesky to name just a few. As for Cole I say keep him and sell Parker to Spurs for 2-3 Million with Keane and maybe a Jenas, Bentley or fringe midfield player to replace Parker. If Parker wanted to stay with us long term he would have signed the deal we have offered him.

Hi Random, welcome here.

You do realise that you'll see a lot of Wet Spam criticism here, but sensible guys will be welcome (as per your very own 'Fozzy' who's a regular).

I have to say that I don't get the Carlton Cole love-in. ... and £9m ???????

Parker is, undoubtedly, a good player but 'appy 'arry has turned his head. You have to wonder how he'll react if he's not let go.

[RandomHero]

Hi Random, welcome here.

You do realise that you'll see a lot of Wet Spam criticism here, but sensible guys will be welcome (as per your very own 'Fozzy' who's a regular).

Thanks. Nothing wrong with friendly banter.

I have to say that I don't get the Carlton Cole love-in. ... and £9m ???????

My best guess, inflated transfer prices and he's got the Englang international tag. I certainly wouldn't pay £9m for him and I'm a big fan of his.

Parker is, undoubtedly, a good player but 'appy 'arry has turned his head. You have to wonder how he'll react if he's not let go.

Can't say I'd be happy if I was Parker. CL football or relegation battle? I honestly think we would be better off sending Parker to Spurs for Robbie Keane and a midfielder like Jeans for a few mill.

[boltonboris]

Hi Random, welcome here.

You do realise that you'll see a lot of Wet Spam criticism here, but sensible guys will be welcome (as per your very own 'Fozzy' who's a regular).

Thanks. Nothing wrong with friendly banter.

I have to say that I don't get the Carlton Cole love-in. ... and £9m ???????

My best guess, inflated transfer prices and he's got the Englang international tag. I certainly wouldn't pay £9m for him and I'm a big fan of his.

Parker is, undoubtedly, a good player but 'appy 'arry has turned his head. You have to wonder how he'll react if he's not let go.

Can't say I'd be happy if I was Parker. CL football or relegation battle? I honestly think we would be better off sending Parker to Spurs for Robbie Keane and a midfielder like Jeans for a few mill.

I assume you mean Jenas.. Even so, I reckon these Jeans you speak off would be a better option.. At least you'd get some use out of them..

Jenas is shite

[CAPSLOCK]

Why would Jenas want to join West Ham

Maybe he wants another England call up cos its fcuking nailed on he'll get one if he does

[RandomHero]

Why would Jenas want to join West Ham

Maybe he wants another England call up cos its fcuking nailed on he'll get one if he does

First team football.

[thebish]

TWSpy - who is a "valued registered site member" received this today.....

Hi,

Firstly, we'd like to begin by apologising to all of of our members (that's you!) for the unavailability of KUMB.com throughout most of yesterday, 31st August (aka transfer deadline day). Unfortunately, due to unprecedented levels of traffic it was simply impossible to provide our regular service.

As a result of this we have taken action in order to try and ensure KUMB.com remains up and running during these busiest of periods. Therefore at peak times - and with immediate effect - we will be restricting access to the KUMB.com forums to Premium Members only. After all, we feel it's only fair that those who contribute to the running costs of the site can enjoy full, unrestricted access.

The only viable alternative to this is that we make the entire KUMB.com forum subscription only - and that's not a course of action we'd like to follow unless we are left with no other option. So beginning from today, access to the main forums will be available to Premium Members only during the following periods :

* Match days (from approximately two hours before kick-off until an hour (or so) after the game has finished)
* Transfer deadline days (usually Jan/Aug 31st)
* Any other periods when we deem it necessary to restrict access (major breaking news etc)

Should you have any questions, feel free to add your comments on the following forum thread that has been set up specifically to discuss this issue:

http://www.kumb.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=125222

Anyone member wishing to opt in to a KUMB.com Premium Membership subscription - which currently costs £15 per year - may do so by visiting the following link:

http://kumb.com/premium.php

Please accept oury apologies for the unsolicited nature of this email but as a valued registered site member we felt it necessary to inform you of these changes ahead of any planned peak time closure. Let us reiterate that regular registered members will notice no change to their service whatsoever bar during the aforementioned times.

Thank you for your time - and for your continued support of Knees up Mother Brown,

The KUMB.com Team

that might make the matchday thread less enjoyable....

[cophilie]

TWSpy - who is a "valued registered site member" received this today.....

Hi,

Firstly, we'd like to begin by apologising to all of of our members (that's you!) for the unavailability of KUMB.com throughout most of yesterday, 31st August (aka transfer deadline day). Unfortunately, due to unprecedented levels of traffic it was simply impossible to provide our regular service.

As a result of this we have taken action in order to try and ensure KUMB.com remains up and running during these busiest of periods. Therefore at peak times - and with immediate effect - we will be restricting access to the KUMB.com forums to Premium Members only. After all, we feel it's only fair that those who contribute to the running costs of the site can enjoy full, unrestricted access.

The only viable alternative to this is that we make the entire KUMB.com forum subscription only - and that's not a course of action we'd like to follow unless we are left with no other option. So beginning from today, access to the main forums will be available to Premium Members only during the following periods :

* Match days (from approximately two hours before kick-off until an hour (or so) after the game has finished)
* Transfer deadline days (usually Jan/Aug 31st)
* Any other periods when we deem it necessary to restrict access (major breaking news etc)

Should you have any questions, feel free to add your comments on the following forum thread that has been set up specifically to discuss this issue:

http://www.kumb.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=125222

Anyone member wishing to opt in to a KUMB.com Premium Membership subscription - which currently costs £15 per year - may do so by visiting the following link:

http://kumb.com/premium.php

Please accept oury apologies for the unsolicited nature of this email but as a valued registered site member we felt it necessary to inform you of these changes ahead of any planned peak time closure. Let us reiterate that regular registered members will notice no change to their service whatsoever bar during the aforementioned times.

Thank you for your time - and for your continued support of Knees up Mother Brown,

The KUMB.com Team

that might make the matchday thread less enjoyable....

Until the first time someone is willing to pay £15 to register their disgust that Davo scored again...

[boltonboris]

TWSpy - who is a "valued registered site member" received this today.....

Hi,

Firstly, we'd like to begin by apologising to all of of our members (that's you!) for the unavailability of KUMB.com throughout most of yesterday, 31st August (aka transfer deadline day). Unfortunately, due to unprecedented levels of traffic it was simply impossible to provide our regular service.

As a result of this we have taken action in order to try and ensure KUMB.com remains up and running during these busiest of periods. Therefore at peak times - and with immediate effect - we will be restricting access to the KUMB.com forums to Premium Members only. After all, we feel it's only fair that those who contribute to the running costs of the site can enjoy full, unrestricted access.

The only viable alternative to this is that we make the entire KUMB.com forum subscription only - and that's not a course of action we'd like to follow unless we are left with no other option. So beginning from today, access to the main forums will be available to Premium Members only during the following periods :

* Match days (from approximately two hours before kick-off until an hour (or so) after the game has finished)
* Transfer deadline days (usually Jan/Aug 31st)
* Any other periods when we deem it necessary to restrict access (major breaking news etc)

Should you have any questions, feel free to add your comments on the following forum thread that has been set up specifically to discuss this issue:

http://www.kumb.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=125222

Anyone member wishing to opt in to a KUMB.com Premium Membership subscription - which currently costs £15 per year - may do so by visiting the following link:

http://kumb.com/premium.php

Please accept oury apologies for the unsolicited nature of this email but as a valued registered site member we felt it necessary to inform you of these changes ahead of any planned peak time closure. Let us reiterate that regular registered members will notice no change to their service whatsoever bar during the aforementioned times.

Thank you for your time - and for your continued support of Knees up Mother Brown,

The KUMB.com Team

that might make the matchday thread less enjoyable....

Jesus.. Have Gold and Sullivan bought KUMB?

[keveh]

That's a bargain compared to the £20 that we are going to charge....


...oh, had I not mentioned that?

[jaffka]

That's a bargain compared to the £20 that we are going to charge....


...oh, had I not mentioned that?

One Burnden Aces
Theres only One Burnden Aces
One Burnden Aces
Theres only One Burnden Aces...