West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

There ARE other teams(we'd have no-one to play otherwise) and here's where all-comers can discuss the wider world of football......

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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by Cor-Blimey » Mon May 30, 2011 8:04 pm

Lord Kangana wrote:Ask Martin Samuel.
Why don't you tell me my friend?

Fed up of seeing us in the papers? Don't you think we are as well?

Just trying to work out why a club like Bolton wuld be so anti West Ham????

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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by Lord Kangana » Mon May 30, 2011 8:08 pm

None of the above.

Martin Samuel decided in his wisdom one day to decry the death of English football because his beloved world cup winning, English youth-filled (he does look that way inclined, doesn't he just?) 'ammers were going to be relegated by those nasty horrible foreign mercenaries up north.

We've pretty much been taking the piss and enjoying it ever since. Thats about it.
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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by bobo the clown » Mon May 30, 2011 8:15 pm

Cor-Blimey wrote:West Ham fan here.

A chap on our forum, http://www.westhamonline.net" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;, posted this link as he was looking for some sensible opinion regarding Allardyce. He then stumbles across this topic about West Ham.

152 pages about West Ham starting from 2006??? Reading a lot of it, most of the content is embarrasing. Why all the hatred? Do you not have any rivals to play with?
That's a fair & reasonable question from a fair & reasonable man .... and it deserves a likewise answer.

The problem is that so few of your fans, as far as we can tell, see life through proper eyes.

Bolton fans have no particular animosity to the reasonable Spammer, but we just donb't seem to meet very many.

Too often your club, it's fans and the fawning media love-fest come across as quite ridiculous.

The level of racism in your KUMB pages is appalling. Plus we ourselves are referred to in caricature tems, both our northern origins and our football pedigree. Check out the 'Northern Monkey's" references and the constant simplistic "bunch of big long ball clods who don't 'deserve' to be in the Prem'.

Your gang actual DO say things like "we are to big to go down" ... and the constant references to "playing football the West Ham way". The media banging on about your adherence to stylish football, your flowing game, your youth development and reliance on English players ... well, check out your recent squads. Its all bllx. Incidentally, just how long is it since you lot actually played "the West Ham way" ??

The fawning press, the way you got away with the Tevez affair at the expense of Sheff Utd, with the authorities saying that to punish you further would have been "unfair to the fans". Not the Sheffield United fans it wouldn't have been. But they are Northern Monkeys I suppose.

The ease with which Spam players get selected for England is a pisser too. The spine (well, OK, hardly actually an appropriate word) of last years England team were from your club. No wonder we struggled. Do you really think Upson would have played for England so often if he'd been at Bolton, Stoke, Wigan .... ? Robert Green ?? Our 4th choice is as good.

The trials and tribulations are purely of your clubs own making, yet we are supposed to bless you because you're West Ham ... and you deserve to survive ... after all you did "win the World Cup" for us. (& yes, read KUMB. That phrase IS used, quite often).

The David Twins & Karrrren Peschisolido are in it for the property values associated with getting the Olympic Stadium (promises upon which, I ASSURE you, will not be kept) and the gains behind selling Upton Park thereafter. Their plan is half achieved.

So Cor-Blimey, YOU and I'm sure 10's of 1,000's more of you are decent, honest football fans supporting your club and agonising at the current situation. I wish you the same as I would wirh Blackpool & Birmingham fans. But there's a heck of a lot about your club which deserves no sympathy whatsoever.

Sorry if that's all news to you .... but you want to try popping onto a few other sites & asking them. You may want NOT to pop onto a Blades site though.

To the good ones of you,I wish you my best. To a far from small minority, well, 'nuff said really.
Last edited by bobo the clown on Mon May 30, 2011 9:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by bobo the clown » Mon May 30, 2011 8:18 pm

... & anyway, a bit of blind piss-taking is great fun.
Not advocating mass-murder as an entirely positive experience, of course, but it had its moments.
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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by bobo the clown » Mon May 30, 2011 9:36 pm

.... & you want to take a dec' at our Benitez thread !!
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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by GoBoltonGo » Mon May 30, 2011 9:53 pm

Lets be fair tho lads, they fill their stadium. Maybe if we spent less time harping on about them and start to go to games instead, we will be as big as them. :oyea:

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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by truewhite15 » Mon May 30, 2011 9:58 pm

GoBoltonGo wrote:Lets be fair tho lads, they fill their stadium. Maybe if we spent less time harping on about them and start to go to games instead, we will be as big as them. :oyea:
:eh:

Are you serious? Or a WUM Spammer?

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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by Bruce Rioja » Mon May 30, 2011 10:04 pm

GoBoltonGo wrote:Lets be fair tho lads, they fill their stadium. Maybe if we spent less time harping on about them and start to go to games instead, we will be as big as them. :oyea:
That's a good point. Just as soon as you'd been knocked out by Stoke there was one of you clueless nice people, straight on the phone to TalkWestham banging on about Bolton and Stoke being unable to fill Wembley. The beauty of it all being that the simple c*nt started his diatribe with "Viss ain't sower grapes an' vatt, batt, wroit..." :roll:
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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by GoBoltonGo » Mon May 30, 2011 10:21 pm

Bruce Rioja wrote:
GoBoltonGo wrote:Lets be fair tho lads, they fill their stadium. Maybe if we spent less time harping on about them and start to go to games instead, we will be as big as them. :oyea:
That's a good point. Just as soon as you'd been knocked out by Stoke there was one of you clueless tw*ts, straight on the phone to TalkWestham banging on about Bolton and Stoke being unable to fill Wembley. The beauty of it all being that the simple c*nt started his diatribe with "Viss ain't sower grapes an' vatt, batt, wroit..." :roll:
Why are you saying when we got knocked out by stoke? We lost 5-0 ffs. Why are you bringing that up? Spent loads of money going down there for that.

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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by CAPSLOCK » Mon May 30, 2011 10:46 pm

GoBoltonGo wrote:Lets be fair tho lads, they fill their stadium. Maybe if we spent less time harping on about them and start to go to games instead, we will be as big as them. :oyea:
Here, don't say I never give you anything


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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by Lord Kangana » Mon May 30, 2011 11:15 pm

Are thiese the new lows they've sunk to in an attempt to cling to their god given Premier League status?

Perhaps we should change the thread title to "...lets all pity them"?
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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by Lord Kangana » Mon May 30, 2011 11:27 pm

Besides, if we don't button it they'll send round Bilbo Baggins and his mob from th'Shire for "mugging them off" (is that like a commemorative beaker being mis-sold?), or this fella...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2_vqjN7Ml4" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by Lord Kangana » Mon May 30, 2011 11:35 pm

Frodo even.

Anyway, they'll probably be needing Bilbo and all the Elves and shit, as Gandalf is a Wanderer.
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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by GoBoltonGo » Mon May 30, 2011 11:45 pm

Lord Kangana wrote:Besides, if we don't button it they'll send round Bilbo Baggins and his mob from th'Shire for "mugging them off" (is that like a commemorative beaker being mis-sold?), or this fella...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2_vqjN7Ml4" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Thats ok, we can send amir khan round to them! :hang:

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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by Worthy4England » Mon May 30, 2011 11:46 pm

I'd like to get one thing straight here.

I don't hate West Ham. I like it when they're in the Prem. Robert Green throws the ball in his own net for our first goal, Upson shites himself every time Davies goes near him and we win a lot.

I'm gutted West Ham have gone down.

In keeping with the thread's title though, they have a long history of spectacular fcuk ups which to most people outside the East End are hilarously funny.

Samuel's bad enough, but I happened to hear "the Moose" off talksport bollocking on about how they were too good to get relegated and were going to stay up with three games to go and 6 points adrift. Mathematically possible, but when you heard him banging on about how good the players were, you'd think they were CL candidates. A GD of -27 with 70 conceded suggests he must've been watching someone else all season.

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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by Lord Kangana » Mon May 30, 2011 11:50 pm

A load of hobbits would mug Khan off well and propa though. I'd fear for his cannister. Probably.

No, we'll send Gandalf. And Quint. Piece of piss.

Altogether now;

farwell and adue to you fare spanish ladies
farewell and adue to you ladies of spain...
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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by CrazyHorse » Tue May 31, 2011 8:29 am

GoBoltonGo wrote:
Bruce Rioja wrote:
GoBoltonGo wrote:Lets be fair tho lads, they fill their stadium. Maybe if we spent less time harping on about them and start to go to games instead, we will be as big as them. :oyea:
That's a good point. Just as soon as you'd been knocked out by Stoke there was one of you clueless tw*ts, straight on the phone to TalkWestham banging on about Bolton and Stoke being unable to fill Wembley. The beauty of it all being that the simple c*nt started his diatribe with "Viss ain't sower grapes an' vatt, batt, wroit..." :roll:
Why are you saying when we got knocked out by stoke? We lost 5-0 ffs. Why are you bringing that up? Spent loads of money going down there for that.
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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by Montreal Wanderer » Tue May 31, 2011 2:38 pm

bobo the clown wrote:... & anyway, a bit of blind piss-taking is great fun.
There was also, repeated ad infinitum each time we play them, "I fecking hate Bolton" and "Kevin Davies is a c*nt, I fecking hate him".
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.

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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by GoBoltonGo » Tue May 31, 2011 2:53 pm

CrazyHorse wrote:
GoBoltonGo wrote:
Bruce Rioja wrote:
GoBoltonGo wrote:Lets be fair tho lads, they fill their stadium. Maybe if we spent less time harping on about them and start to go to games instead, we will be as big as them. :oyea:
That's a good point. Just as soon as you'd been knocked out by Stoke there was one of you clueless tw*ts, straight on the phone to TalkWestham banging on about Bolton and Stoke being unable to fill Wembley. The beauty of it all being that the simple c*nt started his diatribe with "Viss ain't sower grapes an' vatt, batt, wroit..." :roll:
Why are you saying when we got knocked out by stoke? We lost 5-0 ffs. Why are you bringing that up? Spent loads of money going down there for that.
We? You're a facking spammer. Jog on Tinkerbell.
Jog on? sounds like something a spammer would say. Did u go to wembley? You probably sat in your armchair watching it

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Re: West Ham are complete failures! Let's all laugh at 'em!

Post by Lord Kangana » Tue May 31, 2011 2:56 pm

F*ck me its a camel coated Sir Nut.
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