Fans' Funniest Stories

[TANGODANCER]

Thanks Immortal, that's a brilliant story. Cup games are fine. Would you mind if we published it?

Only need first name and first letter of surname.

At what point of the game did it take place? Did you say during half-term?

Plus, message to everyone, can anyone provide additional info into the vibrator story? Can't promise that we will publish it but extra info would be useful just in case.

Publish away if you like. It isn't so much a personal story as an actual happening that's on record with details at the link I provided. . Name is Jim M for what it's worth.

[Gary the Enfield]

Thanks Immortal, that's a brilliant story. Cup games are fine. Would you mind if we published it?

Only need first name and first letter of surname.

At what point of the game did it take place? Did you say during half-term?

Plus, message to everyone, can anyone provide additional info into the vibrator story? Can't promise that we will publish it but extra info would be useful just in case.

Publish away if you like. It isn't so much a personal story as an actual happening that's on record with details at the link I provided. . Name is Jim M for what it's worth.

He wasn't talking to you, he was talking to immortal!

[boltonboris]

I think watching the Wolves fans going apeshit at Burnden and launching food at Lofty the Lion could be a good one

[Bijou Bob]

BB prepares a fresh coffee, dons velvet smoking jacket, reclines in a deeply buttoned wing back armchair taking delicate sips and awaits the arrival of Bruce with 'The Millwall Story'.

Not that he found it funny at the time.

[TANGODANCER]

Thanks Immortal, that's a brilliant story. Cup games are fine. Would you mind if we published it?

Only need first name and first letter of surname.

At what point of the game did it take place? Did you say during half-term?

Plus, message to everyone, can anyone provide additional info into the vibrator story? Can't promise that we will publish it but extra info would be useful just in case.

Publish away if you like. It isn't so much a personal story as an actual happening that's on record with details at the link I provided. . Name is Jim M for what it's worth.

He wasn't talking to you, he was talking to immortal!

Oh, righto. Stand up and be counted immortal.

[TANGODANCER]

I think watching the Wolves fans going apeshit at Burnden and launching food at Lofty the Lion could be a good one

If only there were pictures of it...what a cracker...

[Gary the Enfield]

I think watching the Wolves fans going apeshit at Burnden and launching food at Lofty the Lion could be a good one

If only there were pictures of it...what a cracker...

Part of a wonderful day that was the 'Battle of Burnden'

I may be misremembering this but didn't John McGinley have an accident on the way into the ground where a little girl was hit by his car (not seriously injured thankfully) and there was some debate in the pub beforehand as to whether he would be in the starting line up?

[Andy Waller]

I think watching the Wolves fans going apeshit at Burnden and launching food at Lofty the Lion could be a good one

If only there were pictures of it...what a cracker...

Part of a wonderful day that was the 'Battle of Burnden'

I may be misremembering this but didn't John McGinley have an accident on the way into the ground where a little girl was hit by his car (not seriously injured thankfully) and there was some debate in the pub beforehand as to whether he would be in the starting line up?

Didn't he have a really bad injury but still turned out? All full of joy and cortisone?

[Burnden Paddock]

Found it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_1Z1MInBhk&t=1m33s

Oh and it was 2-2 btw.

Wrong game mate. Parachute bit is Burnden. Rest is Highbury.

Which part of that is the wrong game? You specifically referenced the parachutist, a video of which I linked to, followed by our 2nd goal of said game. Then followed the last 2 goals from the replay, hardly surprising since the video is a summary of that season's FA Cup. Don't think i'll bother to help out next time.

[TANGODANCER]

Found it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_1Z1MInBhk&t=1m33s

Oh and it was 2-2 btw.

Wrong game mate. Parachute bit is Burnden. Rest is Highbury.

Which part of that is the wrong game? You specifically referenced the parachutist, a video of which I linked to, followed by our 2nd goal of said game. Then followed the last 2 goals from the replay, hardly surprising since the video is a summary of that season's FA Cup. Don't think i'll bother to help out next time.

Hey, you shouldn't take offence at a simple observation B.P. I was talking about the parachute incident, which happened at Burnden. I misunderstood you, so apologies.

[Dave Sutton's barnet]

Didn't he have a really bad injury but still turned out? All full of joy and cortisone?

McGinlay was an injury doubt for the Wolves pie/lion/Maureen game. If I remember rightly he was expected not to play but came on for a pre-match fitness test, of course delighting in winding up the travelling fans.

[danhorwich]

BB prepares a fresh coffee, dons velvet smoking jacket, reclines in a deeply buttoned wing back armchair taking delicate sips and awaits the arrival of Bruce with 'The Millwall Story'.

Not that he found it funny at the time.

Its not going to happen although I would be interested in hearing it.

[LeverEnd]

Thanks Immortal, that's a brilliant story. Cup games are fine. Would you mind if we published it?

Only need first name and first letter of surname.

At what point of the game did it take place? Did you say during half-term?

Plus, message to everyone, can anyone provide additional info into the vibrator story? Can't promise that we will publish it but extra info would be useful just in case.

Publish away if you like. It isn't so much a personal story as an actual happening that's on record with details at the link I provided. . Name is Jim M for what it's worth.

He wasn't talking to you, he was talking to immortal!

Oh, righto. Stand up and be counted immortal.

At first I thought he was talking to the equally immortal Boris about his shitty boxers story, which I rather enjoyed.

[jaffka]

Tony Cunningham at Rotherham caused me to get covered in Bovril.

It has been mentioned on here before.

[enrdentw]

I've copied this from another thread but thought I'd post as it's a pretty funny story which some may not have read...

At the last game of the season last year when we played Stoke I couldn't get a ticket!
I have a season ticket at Bolton and travel to the games from Worcester in the west mids.
On that sad day I travelled from Bolton to Worcester via Stoke on Trent. I thought to myself I'm just going to go to the ground and stand in the corner and watch from the hill (you really can't see anything).
Half time approaches and I notice stewards letting fans out of the stadium for cigerettes in the home end. A long story short I sneak in!
"Wow I'm in" I thought, and I didn't have a clue what stand until I came up out of the concorse. I was right in the middle of the main stand, directly behind the dugouts. There wasn't a spare seat to be had. The players began to come out of the tunnel for the second half. I panic and ran towards the front, and then, sat there, was Ricardo Gardner... With a seat next to him...
Yeah, I asked him, he said yes! For the second half of the most important game of the season I was sat watching and talking to a (dare i say it) club legend. For free. The abuse started to flood in from stoke fans around me. "Who's this Bolton Kn0b'ed?!", "how's he got in here" etc all directed at a lad in shirt and jeans sat with the Bolton wanderers club officials.
A steward came over to investigate. "What you doing here son?", I replied, "I'm with the club, I work in the commercial department"... A pause... "Ask Ricky?", I said out of the blue. Ricky turns and looks at the steward... "He's with the club".
Nice one Ricky!
During my time on the bench I was constantly getting asked by Jaaskalinen, CYL, Sordell, Sandy Stewart and even Owen Coyle what the score was at city as I was the only person around with a mobile who cared about Bolton. A sad little part of me felt like I was part of the team during that second half as I fed the scores coming through.
The final whistle blows.
We're relegated. The players and staff are really hurting and you got a real appreciation for how much the players cared.
Being taunted by the Stoke fans directed at me and all the other BW officials is painful. Too worried that I would get filled in walking out I decided to follow the players and staff from the bench on to the pitch. "What was I doing"... I just did... I walked onto the pitch applauded fans, hugged a great deal of the players and shook some hands and I applauded the Bolton faithful. "Where do I go now?" I think. "Fu$k it! I'm going down the tunnel"... Through there out through various corridors past the media room and out through the players exit.
What have I done! No one will believe me were my first thoughts.
A long story short there was a number of pictures of me on the pitch that day. One really good one of me hugging a genuinely distraught Reo-Coker. I would love to share them but I can't uploa . If someone could do me the honor of sending me their email I will send them and they can be put on here.

However, the evidence can be seen by all on YouTube. Some Bolton fan filming me in the stand has filmed my moment in the spotlight.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NZx0lPJrg38" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I hope that was worth sharing. Just wrote it all on my iPhone. Would love to share with you all the pictures of me on the pitch, me getting in the ground, sat by the bench, hugging NRC, sat next to Ricky G etc.

http://survivingdubai.com/tw/image1.jpeg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://survivingdubai.com/tw/image2.jpeg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://survivingdubai.com/tw/image3.jpeg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://survivingdubai.com/tw/image4.jpeg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://survivingdubai.com/tw/image5.jpeg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://survivingdubai.com/tw/image6.jpeg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://survivingdubai.com/tw/image7.jpeg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://survivingdubai.com/tw/image8.jpeg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://survivingdubai.com/tw/image9.jpeg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[TANGODANCER]

Thanks Immortal, that's a brilliant story. Cup games are fine. Would you mind if we published it?

Only need first name and first letter of surname.

At what point of the game did it take place? Did you say during half-term?

Plus, message to everyone, can anyone provide additional info into the vibrator story? Can't promise that we will publish it but extra info would be useful just in case.

Publish away if you like. It isn't so much a personal story as an actual happening that's on record with details at the link I provided. . Name is Jim M for what it's worth.

He wasn't talking to you, he was talking to immortal!

Oh, righto. Stand up and be counted immortal.

At first I thought he was talking to the equally immortal Boris about his shitty boxers story, which I rather enjoyed.

He may well have been L.E. My tale is long ago.

[coffeymagic]

Not wishing to blow my own trumpet but I've done loads of these on 100 Great Bolton Memories thread on http://www.bwfcforum.co.uk" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

The 'fan man' included.

He hung himself y'know.

The funniest thing I ever saw was on the return journey on the Travel Club in ye olde days. I can't remember the game but it must have been in the North West/North Wales because we were coming through Croft when it happened.

Those of you able to recall these days will know that it was hard enough to get the miserable swines who ran the TC to stop in Farnworth to let fans off so when a couple of Warrington lads asked if they could be let off close to their home they had less than no chance.

It was that fat bastard with the curly hair by the way who blanked these lads.

They weren't happy but were fairly pished so as the bus (a double decker) sped long the motorway one of them opened the emergency exit on the top deck, hung, then dropped.

The bus must have been doing 50mph and as we watched he hit the deck and the momentum propelled his legs like something out of a comic book.

He han like Billy-O for about 100 yards then fell on his arse, bouncing along the M62 like a rubber ball. As we waited for him to burst into a ball of blood and guts he jumped back on to his feet and ran off the road, over the barrier and over a fence.

I never saw him again.

I bet his arse was killing him for months.