Fans' Funniest Stories

[442 Fans]

Hello,
Ollie at FourFourTwo magazine here.

As part of our forthcoming Football League special issue, we're looking to publish a collection of the funniest fan stories from across the Football League this season and were wondering if any Bolton fans were able to help? Many of the stories will appear in the magazine.

The stories can be about anyone at your club – player, manager, chairman, club employee – or something you've witnessed inside or outside the ground this season, concerning the home or away fans. Or it could simply be something bizarre you've seen or a funny chant.

Here is an example of the kind of thing we're after.

Sign him up, sign him up
"Just as our game against Crewe was about to kick-off last week (I'm a Brentford fan), out of nowhere a Siberian Husky scampers across the pitch like something from a Winalot advert. As it frolics on the pitch, looking genuinely pleased with itself, some of the players attempt to usher it back into the stands. Not Crewe's No.9 Matthias Pogba, though. The hulking centre forward appears to yelp as the friendly canine trotts by him, much to the obvious delight of my fellow Bees. After serenading the eager mut - "sign him up, sign him up" - we turn our attention to Pogba. As well as barking at him every time he touches the ball, we chant: “Matthias Pogba, he’s scared of a dog!” Pogba's look of utter confusion only adds to the hilarity, as we go on to win 3-1."
Darren F, Brentford fan

If you are able to help, please email your story [email protected], or simply post here if you'd prefer.
Thanks for reading,
Ollie

[TANGODANCER]

Okay, I'll give you one from twenty years back that even a few Bolton fans may not know, but some will remember:

Back in Feb. 1994 I was at an evening Cup game between Bolton Wanderers and Arsenal. It was a good game and ended 1-1, but during the game everybody was amazed when a parachutist suddenly appeared above and dived on the game. It turned out later he was an American renowned for diving on a heavyweight boxing match involving Riddick Bowe and getting battered by the crowd and security for his trouble. ( No sense of humour those Yanks, our lot found it hilarious) He was also expelled from Britain after diving over London and landing on the roof of Buckingham Palace with his privates painted luminous green. Every word is true..

ps: You can read all abou the guy here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Miller_(parachutist" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;)

[clapton is god]

I remember that night well, Tango. My then 14yr old daughter was keen on going to the football (actually i think Jason Mcateer's bum that was the attraction!) and that particular night we were in the Manchester road stand, arriving as the game was about to kick off. She needed to pay a visit first so I waited outside the ladies....and waited....and eventually had to send a search party in. She was locked in. The handle had come off the inside of the door and she couldn't get her hands under the door to pull. I had to kick the door in to get her out and we arrived at our seats a good ten minutes into the game. It all ended well though didn't it - even if we needed a replay!

[TANGODANCER]

I remember that night well, Tango. My then 14yr old daughter was keen on going to the football (actually i think Jason Mcateer's bum that was the attraction!) and that particular night we were in the Manchester road stand, arriving as the game was about to kick off. She needed to pay a visit first so I waited outside the ladies....and waited....and eventually had to send a search party in. She was locked in. The handle had come off the inside of the door and she couldn't get her hands under the door to pull. I had to kick the door in to get her out and we arrived at our seats a good ten minutes into the game. It all ended well though didn't it - even if we needed a replay!

Aye, it sure did, but Ian Wright nearly gave me a heart attack with two minutes left, when his shot landed on the roof of the net.

[LeverEnd]

Watched it at the OVT in Birmingham where I was a student, made it to the replay though. Happy days. I'd forgotten that stunt Tango , you've got me and my mate reminiscing now!

[Worthy4England]

Not trying to stop any happy reminiscing, but the OP was after any funny fan stories, this season.

As we closed the door on humour, before the season started, other than comical team selection, maybe we should lock the thread, or post your most comical substitutions or sommat.

[danhorwich]

Seeing all the Bolton fans over the moon with delight when at 7-0 down to Reading we got a goal back and you would have thought we had taken the lead by the way some were celebrating.

[a1]

Okay, I'll give you one from twenty years back that even a few Bolton fans may not know, but some will remember:

Back in Feb. 1994 I was at an evening Cup game between Bolton Wanderers and Arsenal. It was a good game and ended 1-1, but during the game everybody was amazed when a parachutist suddenly appeared above and dived on the game. It turned out later he was an American renowned for diving on a heavyweight boxing match involving Riddick Bowe and getting battered by the crowd and security for his trouble. ( No sense of humour those Yanks, our lot found it hilarious) He was also expelled from Britain after diving over London and landing on the roof of Buckingham Palace with his privates painted luminous green. Every word is true..

ps: You can read all abou the guy here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Miller_(parachutist" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;)

that arsenal cup game was live on sky, there'll be a tape of it somewhere.

[Annoyed Grunt]

This one time, at band camp........oh wait, no.......sorry.....

[LeverEnd]

Wasn't there a photo of a Bolton fan waving a vibrator at an away match this season?

[LeverEnd]

We could make one up based around that.

[CrazyHorse]

I did an amazing photo bomb at the Cardiff game the other week.
Two young ladies in the row in front were so excited by the on-pitch performance that they thought they'd capture the magic by selfying themselves.
Taking a break from the on-pitch magic, I work out what's going on and quick as a flash formulate a plan to provide a spot of comic relief as a welcome break from the on-pitch extravaganza.
In a one piece non stop slick swooping move I pocket my pie, dive in behind them, pull a face like an ejaculating bulldog and return back to my seat before they've even finished saying Cheeeeese!
Needless to say, 90% of the Lofthouse Lower were in stitches for the rest of the game.

Tbf that was a cup game though. Does that count?

[danhorwich]

Wasn't there a photo of a Bolton fan waving a vibrator at an away match this season?

Yes and there is the same fan eating a pie with the dildo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1SBf9B-tBU

and picture

http://www.101greatgoals.com/wp-content ... .41-PM.png

[TANGODANCER]

Not trying to stop any happy reminiscing, but the OP was after any funny fan stories, this season.

As we closed the door on humour, before the season started, other than comical team selection, maybe we should lock the thread, or post your most comical substitutions or sommat.

Just paving the way to get folk going Worthy. Not been to any games this season .

[Lord Kangana]

Okay, I'll give you one from twenty years back that even a few Bolton fans may not know, but some will remember:

Back in Feb. 1994 I was at an evening Cup game between Bolton Wanderers and Arsenal. It was a good game and ended 1-1, but during the game everybody was amazed when a parachutist suddenly appeared above and dived on the game. It turned out later he was an American renowned for diving on a heavyweight boxing match involving Riddick Bowe and getting battered by the crowd and security for his trouble. ( No sense of humour those Yanks, our lot found it hilarious) He was also expelled from Britain after diving over London and landing on the roof of Buckingham Palace with his privates painted luminous green. Every word is true..

ps: You can read all abou the guy here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Miller_(parachutist" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;)

that arsenal cup game was live on sky, there'll be a tape of it somewhere.

I have it on VHS. If anyone's interested.

[Burnden Paddock]

Okay, I'll give you one from twenty years back that even a few Bolton fans may not know, but some will remember:

Back in Feb. 1994 I was at an evening Cup game between Bolton Wanderers and Arsenal. It was a good game and ended 1-1, but during the game everybody was amazed when a parachutist suddenly appeared above and dived on the game. It turned out later he was an American renowned for diving on a heavyweight boxing match involving Riddick Bowe and getting battered by the crowd and security for his trouble. ( No sense of humour those Yanks, our lot found it hilarious) He was also expelled from Britain after diving over London and landing on the roof of Buckingham Palace with his privates painted luminous green. Every word is true..

ps: You can read all abou the guy here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Miller_(parachutist" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;)

Found it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_1Z1MInBhk&t=1m33s

Oh and it was 2-2 btw.

[TANGODANCER]

Found it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_1Z1MInBhk&t=1m33s

Oh and it was 2-2 btw.

Wrong game mate. Parachute bit is Burnden. Rest is Highbury.

[LeverEnd]

Found it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_1Z1MInBhk&t=1m33s

Oh and it was 2-2 btw.

Wrong game mate. Parachute bit is Burnden. Rest is Highbury.

The first goal shown by Coyle was the equaliser in the 2-2 at Burnden, then it switches to the replay.

[boltonboris]

One of my mates physically shit himself at Huddersfield in about 2000/01. Had to ditch his boxers on the bogs. That was pretty funny.

[442 Fans]

Thanks Immortal, that's a brilliant story. Cup games are fine. Would you mind if we published it?

Only need first name and first letter of surname.

At what point of the game did it take place? Did you say during half-term?

Plus, message to everyone, can anyone provide additional info into the vibrator story? Can't promise that we will publish it but extra info would be useful just in case.