Just had a quickie

If you have a life outside of BWFC, then this is the place to tell us all about your toilet habits, and those bizarre fetishes.......

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burnden58
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Just had a quickie

Post by burnden58 » Thu Nov 02, 2006 10:00 pm

This week I've been on a course with three blokes from Cumbria. Last night they went out around China Town in Manchester and were approached by a lady of the night offering her services.

The first one she approached stepped back abit surprsed, so she moved over to the second bloke who mentioned something about being scottish and not spending money. so she grabbed the third blokes crown jewels, he flinched, smiled and politely declined her advances.

As they walked away laughing, he made a comment about not having enough money to pay for her services as he only had £30 which he had just withdrawn from the cash machine. He then realised the money was gone.

She had distracted him with a quick feel and at the same time picked his pocket. Thats what you call expensive. :shock: She must have watched him withdraw the money and seen which pocket he had put the money in.
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Post by cowdrill » Thu Nov 02, 2006 10:14 pm

no wonder they end up getting beaten up is it?! :o
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Post by Athers » Thu Nov 02, 2006 11:57 pm

Has anyone met that "Canadian" guy in Manchester who says he's been mugged (shows empty wallet) and needs bus fare for national express to Heathrow? I think I've ran into him 3 times now, a master at work.
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Post by TANGODANCER » Fri Nov 03, 2006 12:12 am

Another favourite, well dressed bloke in Manchester, late evening. : "I've locked myself out of my car and my wallet's inside, ( points at the nearest decent looking parked car) and I need taxi fare to get home and get my spare keys. If you'd be so kind as to lend it me and give me your address"...etc etc. Mate of mine fell for it and gave the bloke a fiver. Half an hour later he was at it again not far away. It's called "street life" mate, and it's not restricted to teenage hoodies.
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Re: Just had a quickie

Post by communistworkethic » Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:10 am

burnden58 wrote:This week I've been on a course with three blokes from Cumbria. Last night they went out around China Town in Manchester and were approached by a lady of the night offering her services.

The first one she approached stepped back abit surprsed, so she moved over to the second bloke who mentioned something about being scottish and not spending money. so she grabbed the third blokes crown jewels, he flinched, smiled and politely declined her advances.

As they walked away laughing, he made a comment about not having enough money to pay for her services as he only had £30 which he had just withdrawn from the cash machine. He then realised the money was gone.

She had distracted him with a quick feel and at the same time picked his pocket. Thats what you call expensive. :shock: She must have watched him withdraw the money and seen which pocket he had put the money in.
exactly the same happened to my mate when we went to Budapest, money and mobile phone gone. Needless to say, that wasn't the versionof events he told his wife when we got back!
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Post by wovlad » Fri Nov 03, 2006 10:24 am

Slipped on a very slippery thing in town. Twisted my knee and the bloke who helped me up
ran off with my phone. Now thats a tw*t.
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Post by General Mannerheim » Fri Nov 03, 2006 10:42 am

Athers wrote:Has anyone met that "Canadian" guy in Manchester who says he's been mugged (shows empty wallet) and needs bus fare for national express to Heathrow? I think I've ran into him 3 times now, a master at work.
Yeah i know that bastard, he is very good, he even carries the time-table and points to which bus he needs to catch.

Ive also seen a bloke run up to someone from a side street all paniky, heavy breathing etc,
"abulance, i need to ring an ambulance, my girlfriend, just collapsed" blah blah.. the woman dialled 999, passed the phone to the bloke and he was gone in a flash.

I never know the best thing to say to these people for the best, do you politley say no, explain you have no money either, or just tell them to feck right off?

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Post by boltonboris » Fri Nov 03, 2006 12:23 pm

Athers wrote:Has anyone met that "Canadian" guy in Manchester who says he's been mugged (shows empty wallet) and needs bus fare for national express to Heathrow? I think I've ran into him 3 times now, a master at work.
Same bloke I was telling a scouse mate about, he always gets on/off the metrolink at market street, it fascinates me the lengths people go to to rob others, I keep my gob shut just to see how many people he convinces

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Post by warthog » Fri Nov 03, 2006 12:26 pm

A few people have tried to sell me a jacket whilst in the car park of motorway service stations. The story's always the same. They're in the UK on business and have a few expensive samples left which they don't want to take home, so they'll sell one to me cheap.

I've never been tempted but one of them was really good, right down to the authentic Italian accent. I saw him on TV last week. He's been sentenced to a stretch in prison.

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Post by Raven » Fri Nov 03, 2006 12:30 pm

I've seen the last one it was watches with me though, never been tempted!

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Post by Bruce Rioja » Fri Nov 03, 2006 12:33 pm

At least when I got robbed in my car on Cross Street the guy had the decency to climb in through the passenger door and stick a screwdriver in my throat, allowing me to retain my dignity in having been robbed 'proper'. I could never have lived with the shame of having been simply hoodwinked :shock: .
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Post by a1 » Fri Nov 03, 2006 3:26 pm

i got told that once in bolton town square some "mugger" got in a scuffle with some mobile phone owner and got pwned with a leg sweep trip thing. He fell back and twatted his head against them grey stone benches outside andys records KO-style , the muggee got 'detained' by some do gooding arse before getting the chance to run off .. i dont know if it made the papers ...

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Post by Montreal Wanderer » Fri Nov 03, 2006 4:30 pm

Athers wrote:Has anyone met that "Canadian" guy in Manchester who says he's been mugged (shows empty wallet) and needs bus fare for national express to Heathrow? I think I've ran into him 3 times now, a master at work.
Hope he never actually catches the plane to Canada.
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Post by burnden58 » Sun Nov 05, 2006 1:45 pm

warthog wrote:A few people have tried to sell me a jacket whilst in the car park of motorway service stations. The story's always the same. They're in the UK on business and have a few expensive samples left which they don't want to take home, so they'll sell one to me cheap.

I've never been tempted but one of them was really good, right down to the authentic Italian accent. I saw him on TV last week. He's been sentenced to a stretch in prison.

I was out with a mate at the beer festival who admitted he had bought the jacket he was wearing from some Italian bloke on the moterway. :D :D :D :D the jacket looked like something the Lone Ranger would have worn.
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Post by Bwfc in the bloodline » Sun Nov 05, 2006 2:02 pm

warthog wrote:A few people have tried to sell me a jacket whilst in the car park of motorway service stations. The story's always the same. They're in the UK on business and have a few expensive samples left which they don't want to take home, so they'll sell one to me cheap.

I've never been tempted but one of them was really good, right down to the authentic Italian accent. I saw him on TV last week. He's been sentenced to a stretch in prison.
My boss got done by maybe the same prankster. He came back after a trip to the bank, with a brand new authentic italian hand crafted jacket at the knock down price of £50 (knocked down from £120) All of us couldn't stop laughing.
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Post by warthog » Sun Nov 05, 2006 2:34 pm

The scam's been around a long time. I first became aware of it about 15 years ago, because of a news item on Granada. Forewarned, I've never been tempted.

These guys are convincing though. They're always in flash cars and carry three or four coats around at a time. Look carefully and you'll usually find a transit van close by, full of the damn things.

At one point they were even advertising for staff!

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Post by Bruce Rioja » Sun Nov 05, 2006 2:42 pm

warthog wrote: These guys are convincing though. They're always in flash cars.....
Indeed, and if you look at the bottom of the number plate you'll see that the cars are always on hire. Thankfully these people aren't quite as common as they once were, a right bloody menace. You should see their faces when you say "I don't want a jacket" to them before they've said anything to you, quite a picture.
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