too early for an ashes thread??
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Dr.Karl
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I smell bullshit too, if you take each match as an independent event and priced Australia at a generous evens for each match, then the odds would be a *massive* 31/1, using bookies odds probably 33/1.Codo_BWFC wrote:serious at the beginning it was
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind - Gandhi
A cynic is man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing - Wilde
I have a fax in my pocket - Gartside
A cynic is man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing - Wilde
I have a fax in my pocket - Gartside
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77,78,81,84,05
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The Ashes this year started under a wave of excitement after England had won it in 2005 in England. The Aussies were humilated after that and revenge was on their mind during the 18 month gap before the opening test of this Ashes. England fans - with renewed optimism after English Cricket was declared "dead" in 2003 - were travelling in their thousands "Down Under" to see if the boys could bring them back home and keep the Ashes away from them Foster drinking, bbq shrimping, Neighbours loving criminals.
The weeks before the Ashes were not ideal for England, the captain Vaughan was injured and had no chance of being fit, Trescothick went home when he found out his wife was getting 6 inches of pandemonium while he was busting a gut half way round the world - if I was Marcus I would of gone out to Bondi Beach in all my cricket gear with KP (as he is quite good at pulling the birds), pulled a couple of c0ck hungry Kylie lookalikes and took them back the team hotel and video a pounding session with all the lads - I'd even let the "Sherminator" Ian Bell have a go after all he is ginger and it must be hard for the lad. I'd make the bird wear my cricket gear and get her to call out random things the Skysports mics picked up by the wickets like - "Oooo warney" - "nice one shaney" after all it was obvious Warney was going to shaft us all throughout the test matches. He should then off put it on the net for the world to see. Seeing as I am quite a grudgy bastard I would off said things like " My wife's lack a sack of spuds in bed", "She's a weirdo, she's into gimp masks" "she's hanging downstairs, it swings when she walks" etc.
I bet all the England team would happliy bend over for Shane, I can see it now, after the last test match which made it 5 - 0, Freddy got all the lads lined up in the dressing room with there bills hanging round their ankles, KP was first as he loves the Warnster, standing there touching his toes with his Superman boxies dropped. Warney went in, flops his entertainment onto the front of his undies and done to England what he done all throughout the tour.
Our only player who played anything that can be described as well was Monty and what the hell Freddy and Duncan were thinking put Giles in when we had Monty there only they can tell you, Monty came in and stole the show, he is a class act but I just wish he would stop the mongy high fives he tries and misses all the time, he looks like a big kid in the play ground - if it excites you that much Monty do a little sex wee or something stop the missed high five - you look like Borat!
I never really hated the Aussies, you have to admire them, Warney can't keep it in his kecks but is a hell of a bowler, Gilchrist looks like he ate about 50 tablets when he was younger as his face looks like he is pernamently gurning but he took the pi$$ out of our bowlers many a time. They are a class bunch of players but to be honest England didn't turn up.
There is one player in the Aussies team I really do hate with a passion and that is Brett Lee. Firstly who calls your kid Brett? Brett FFS? Either his parents lost a bet, are absolute morons or were a big fan of that tool who used to wrestle in Pink Spandex. I bet they even made his middle name "The Hitman". Brett "the Hitman" Lee no wonder he thinks he's gods gift. He mimicked the umpire in teh 3rd test when he was giving a wicket and I really did want to get a flight over and cave his head in with a stump. Also in the last test he took Freddies wicket and do a gay little clap of the heels, who the fcuk does he think he is?!? Oi mate, I know your all a bit funny down there but stop acting like dorothy in the wizard of oz, you are offically on my "tw@twatch" list you utter bender.
All in all, we were utter shit.
The weeks before the Ashes were not ideal for England, the captain Vaughan was injured and had no chance of being fit, Trescothick went home when he found out his wife was getting 6 inches of pandemonium while he was busting a gut half way round the world - if I was Marcus I would of gone out to Bondi Beach in all my cricket gear with KP (as he is quite good at pulling the birds), pulled a couple of c0ck hungry Kylie lookalikes and took them back the team hotel and video a pounding session with all the lads - I'd even let the "Sherminator" Ian Bell have a go after all he is ginger and it must be hard for the lad. I'd make the bird wear my cricket gear and get her to call out random things the Skysports mics picked up by the wickets like - "Oooo warney" - "nice one shaney" after all it was obvious Warney was going to shaft us all throughout the test matches. He should then off put it on the net for the world to see. Seeing as I am quite a grudgy bastard I would off said things like " My wife's lack a sack of spuds in bed", "She's a weirdo, she's into gimp masks" "she's hanging downstairs, it swings when she walks" etc.
I bet all the England team would happliy bend over for Shane, I can see it now, after the last test match which made it 5 - 0, Freddy got all the lads lined up in the dressing room with there bills hanging round their ankles, KP was first as he loves the Warnster, standing there touching his toes with his Superman boxies dropped. Warney went in, flops his entertainment onto the front of his undies and done to England what he done all throughout the tour.
Our only player who played anything that can be described as well was Monty and what the hell Freddy and Duncan were thinking put Giles in when we had Monty there only they can tell you, Monty came in and stole the show, he is a class act but I just wish he would stop the mongy high fives he tries and misses all the time, he looks like a big kid in the play ground - if it excites you that much Monty do a little sex wee or something stop the missed high five - you look like Borat!
I never really hated the Aussies, you have to admire them, Warney can't keep it in his kecks but is a hell of a bowler, Gilchrist looks like he ate about 50 tablets when he was younger as his face looks like he is pernamently gurning but he took the pi$$ out of our bowlers many a time. They are a class bunch of players but to be honest England didn't turn up.
There is one player in the Aussies team I really do hate with a passion and that is Brett Lee. Firstly who calls your kid Brett? Brett FFS? Either his parents lost a bet, are absolute morons or were a big fan of that tool who used to wrestle in Pink Spandex. I bet they even made his middle name "The Hitman". Brett "the Hitman" Lee no wonder he thinks he's gods gift. He mimicked the umpire in teh 3rd test when he was giving a wicket and I really did want to get a flight over and cave his head in with a stump. Also in the last test he took Freddies wicket and do a gay little clap of the heels, who the fcuk does he think he is?!? Oi mate, I know your all a bit funny down there but stop acting like dorothy in the wizard of oz, you are offically on my "tw@twatch" list you utter bender.
All in all, we were utter shit.
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