Joke thread

If you have a life outside of BWFC, then this is the place to tell us all about your toilet habits, and those bizarre fetishes.......

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Montreal Wanderer
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Post by Montreal Wanderer » Mon May 11, 2009 7:37 pm

Prufrock wrote:This one's for you Puskas.

A scientist wants to reduce my body temperature to minus 273 degrees Celsius.

My wife says it'll kill me, but I think I'll be 0K.
Well, it took me a couple of seconds to get this one and I must point out that minus 173 Celsius is not zero Kelvin - that would be -273.15. :wink:
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Post by Puskas » Mon May 11, 2009 7:46 pm

Prufrock wrote:This one's for you Puskas.

A scientist wants to reduce my body temperature to minus 273 degrees Celsius.

My wife says it'll kill me, but I think I'll be 0K.
I like that. Well done.

Two cats sliding down the roof - which one falls off first?
The one with the smallest mew...
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Post by General Mannerheim » Mon May 11, 2009 11:45 pm

what do you get if you shag too many gay fish?

MermAids...
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Post by William the White » Mon May 11, 2009 11:50 pm

General Mannerheim wrote:what do you get if you shag too many gay fish?

MermAids...
this joke thread - is it supposed to be funny? :conf:
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Post by a1 » Tue May 12, 2009 12:19 am

General Mannerheim wrote:what do you get if you shag too many gay fish?
kanye west disease ?

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/224099/
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Post by Prufrock » Tue May 12, 2009 2:31 am

General Mannerheim wrote:what do you get if you shag too many gay fish?

MermAids...
I read that today on Sickipedia, made me smile, though it was fish of any sort. However, I preferred:

Where do AIDS infected bees live? a HIV.
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Post by Prufrock » Tue May 12, 2009 7:14 am

Puskas wrote:
Prufrock wrote:This one's for you Puskas.

A scientist wants to reduce my body temperature to minus 273 degrees Celsius.

My wife says it'll kill me, but I think I'll be 0K.
I like that. Well done.

Two cats sliding down the roof - which one falls off first?
The one with the smallest mew...
See, it worries me how I actually thought of someone I've never met, but I did think of you when I read it. Unlike Monty I like to give some atristic leeway when it comes to jokes (and I never said -173 Celsius-that'd be ridiculous- :mrgreen: ).

As for your joke, I'm not quite scientific enough, I guess 'mew' is a play on the greek letter for 'm' but i donnae know what that stands for mathematically, I'm afraid.
In a world that has decided
That it's going to lose its mind
Be more kind, my friends, try to be more kind.
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Post by mummywhycantieatcrayons » Tue May 12, 2009 7:24 am

Prufrock wrote:
Puskas wrote:
Prufrock wrote:This one's for you Puskas.

A scientist wants to reduce my body temperature to minus 273 degrees Celsius.

My wife says it'll kill me, but I think I'll be 0K.
I like that. Well done.

Two cats sliding down the roof - which one falls off first?
The one with the smallest mew...
See, it worries me how I actually thought of someone I've never met, but I did think of you when I read it. Unlike Monty I like to give some atristic leeway when it comes to jokes (and I never said -173 Celsius-that'd be ridiculous- :mrgreen: ).

As for your joke, I'm not quite scientific enough, I guess 'mew' is a play on the greek letter for 'm' but i donnae know what that stands for mathematically, I'm afraid.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coefficien ... f_friction
Prufrock wrote: Like money hasn't always talked. You might not like it, or disagree, but it's the truth. It's a basic incentive, people always have, and always will want what's best for themselves and their families
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Post by Prufrock » Tue May 12, 2009 7:41 am

mummywhycantieatcrayons wrote:
Prufrock wrote:
Puskas wrote:
Prufrock wrote:This one's for you Puskas.

A scientist wants to reduce my body temperature to minus 273 degrees Celsius.

My wife says it'll kill me, but I think I'll be 0K.
I like that. Well done.

Two cats sliding down the roof - which one falls off first?
The one with the smallest mew...
See, it worries me how I actually thought of someone I've never met, but I did think of you when I read it. Unlike Monty I like to give some atristic leeway when it comes to jokes (and I never said -173 Celsius-that'd be ridiculous- :mrgreen: ).

As for your joke, I'm not quite scientific enough, I guess 'mew' is a play on the greek letter for 'm' but i donnae know what that stands for mathematically, I'm afraid.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coefficien ... f_friction
One of the few jokes that having been explained made me smile. I think Puskas has had that in his mental soap juggling left footed locked for a while.
In a world that has decided
That it's going to lose its mind
Be more kind, my friends, try to be more kind.
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Post by General Mannerheim » Fri May 15, 2009 4:17 pm

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528, ... 24,00.html

check out the headline…

when moneys not enough eh!? He’ll do anything to get the players he wants!

he even looks like he just swallowed in the picture!!!
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Post by General Mannerheim » Tue May 19, 2009 1:05 pm

David Blaine is reportedly gutted to hear that his record of doing feck all in a box for 42 days has been broken by Johan Elmander!
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Post by blurred » Tue May 19, 2009 3:07 pm

If you recieve an email from The Department of Health regarding swine flu stating that you should not eat tinned pork products, ignore it, its Spam.
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Post by eddybwfc » Wed May 20, 2009 9:23 pm

Im having a couple of problems with my new sat nav, first i typed in chelsea and it said two minutes from rome, then i typed in liverpool and it said not in europe
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Post by General Mannerheim » Fri May 22, 2009 3:00 pm

Was walking through town before when this random student type woman stopped me in the street and started telling me a joke.

It had all the ingredients of a good joke... child abuse, incestual rape, tears and suffering, but I didnt understand the punchline…

Something about 2 pounds a month??
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Post by General Mannerheim » Fri May 22, 2009 3:00 pm

What were Rod Hull's last words?

Grab hold of that fecking gutter, Emu!
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Post by eddybwfc » Sun May 24, 2009 6:49 pm

Any1 got any newcastle jokes?? :D
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Post by InsaneApache » Sun May 24, 2009 7:55 pm

eddybwfc wrote:Any1 got any newcastle jokes?? :D
Newcastle are a massive club and too good to go down.
Here I stand foot in hand...talkin to my wall....I'm not quite right at all...am I?
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Post by Prufrock » Sun May 24, 2009 10:08 pm

InsaneApache wrote:
eddybwfc wrote:Any1 got any newcastle jokes?? :D
Newcastle are a massive club and too good to go down.
Apparently odds have been slashed on them finally breaking into the top 4 next season.
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Post by Gravedigger » Mon May 25, 2009 6:14 pm

eddybwfc wrote:Any1 got any newcastle jokes?? :D
There were eleven on the pitch yesterday. 8)
Don't try to be a great man. Just be a man and let history make up its own mind.
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Post by eddybwfc » Mon May 25, 2009 7:30 pm

Britain's got talent?

Shame Newcastle United haven't

________________________________

Newcastle United wore their new kit for the 2009/2010 season for the first time today, and I think it looks really nice.

In fact, I'd say it's the best kit in the Coca Cola Championship.
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