Crap Towns

[Gary the Enfield]

Wrexham in Wales

How very dare you !?!?

Mr Hopeful & I will be round your quick-sticks.

Ahh sorry Bobo. It might well be lovely now. I obviously saw the worst bits during my 2 visits there in the 1980s

Wrexham ain't that bad actually, tis better tha ours

I first moved to Wrexham in 1989, but only stayed a few months. I moved back to the area in 2002 and was pleasantly surprised at the improvements that had been made. It was a dump and is now no different to most other small/medium sized towns. There are a lot worse that's for sure.

Redcar anyone?
Ellesmere Port?

Redcar stinks. Really really stinks. Not in a good way.

[CrazyHorse]

Plymouth is far from pleasant too.

[tripod]

I thought Wolverhampton city centre was nice! Roughly a billion times nicer than its shithole neighbour Brum. It was sunny like, but still, even Paris was grim in the rain.

What made you think that? Willenhall we worked in, what a dive. I've worked all over the UK, but Wolverhampton is the one place I never wanna go back to

[Sponge]

Might have been mentioned already, but Jaywick in Essex, the most deprived place in the UK. Parts of it are virtually a shanty town. Have a butcher's on Google Streetview at Brooklands Gardens, Jaywick: a friend of mine, a painter, was talking of buying a house on that road because it was cheap and next to the sea. It's cheap for a reason, idiot!

[Always hopeful]

I thought Wolverhampton city centre was nice! Roughly a billion times nicer than its shithole neighbour Brum. It was sunny like, but still, even Paris was grim in the rain.

What made you think that? Willenhall we worked in, what a dive. I've worked all over the UK, but Wolverhampton is the one place I never wanna go back to

Me too, but since that's where Mrs Hopeful's from and my in-laws still live, resistence is futile.

[thebish]

I thought Wolverhampton city centre was nice! Roughly a billion times nicer than its shithole neighbour Brum. It was sunny like, but still, even Paris was grim in the rain.

What made you think that? Willenhall we worked in, what a dive. I've worked all over the UK, but Wolverhampton is the one place I never wanna go back to

Me too, but since that's where Mrs Hopeful's from and my in-laws still live, resistence is futile.

aye... too true! My mother was born in Blackhalve Lane, Wednesfield.... I have no urge to return to the place of my ancestors!!

[Zulus Thousand of em]

Mrs Zulu hails from Walsall and has a sister living in Willenhall so I will maintain a dignified silence here.

feck it! Not possible. Willenhall is a complete shithole. There, I've said it.

[Sponge]

I grew up in Croydon. That's got to hold some serious points in Crap Town Top Trumps.

[bobo the clown]

I thought Wolverhampton city centre was nice! Roughly a billion times nicer than its shithole neighbour Brum. It was sunny like, but still, even Paris was grim in the rain.

What made you think that? Willenhall we worked in, what a dive. I've worked all over the UK, but Wolverhampton is the one place I never wanna go back to

Me too, but since that's where Mrs Hopeful's from and my in-laws still live, resistence is futile.

Maybe from now on you tell her that you'll stay at home when she goes back to her old place, because it's a shithole ??

Let me know when you are telling her. I'll pop down to watch !!

[Always hopeful]

I thought Wolverhampton city centre was nice! Roughly a billion times nicer than its shithole neighbour Brum. It was sunny like, but still, even Paris was grim in the rain.

What made you think that? Willenhall we worked in, what a dive. I've worked all over the UK, but Wolverhampton is the one place I never wanna go back to

Me too, but since that's where Mrs Hopeful's from and my in-laws still live, resistence is futile.

Maybe from now on you tell her that you'll stay at home when she goes back to her old place, because it's a shithole ??

Let me know when you are telling her. I'll pop down to watch !!

I plucked up the courage to broach the subject with Mrs Hopeful, telling her that we were discussing the relative beauty of Wolverhampton. She reliably informs me that there are nice bits and less nice bits and guess which bit she's claims to be from? I decided to leave it there.

[Bruce Rioja]

I plucked up the courage to broach the subject with Mrs Hopeful, telling her that we were discussing the relative beauty of Wolverhampton. She reliably informs me that there are nice bits and less nice bits and guess which bit she's claims to be from? I decided to leave it there.

Is she from Tettenhall? From memory that's pretty much as good as Wolverhampton gets. It's like Smithills - perfectly smart and presentable (the real Smithills, that is, not the current estate agent's Smithills which now appears to run down to as far as Eskrick St.)

[bobo the clown]

I plucked up the courage to broach the subject with Mrs Hopeful, telling her that we were discussing the relative beauty of Wolverhampton. She reliably informs me that there are nice bits and less nice bits and guess which bit she's claims to be from? I decided to leave it there.

Is she from Tettenhall? From memory that's pretty much as good as Wolverhampton gets. It's like Smithills - perfectly smart and presentable (the real Smithills, that is, not the current estate agent's Smithills which now appears to run down to as far as Eskrick St.)

That, to be fair, is an OK area. The A41 route into town.

Everywhere has to have some OK places. Where would all the prison warders live ?

[Always hopeful]

I plucked up the courage to broach the subject with Mrs Hopeful, telling her that we were discussing the relative beauty of Wolverhampton. She reliably informs me that there are nice bits and less nice bits and guess which bit she's claims to be from? I decided to leave it there.

Is she from Tettenhall? From memory that's pretty much as good as Wolverhampton gets. It's like Smithills - perfectly smart and presentable (the real Smithills, that is, not the current estate agent's Smithills which now appears to run down to as far as Eskrick St.)

That, to be fair, is an OK area. The A41 route into town.

Everywhere has to have some OK places. Where would all the prison warders live ?

Well, very close actually. (I'm impressed and surprised with both of your knowledge of the home of the inferior Wanderers. Are you sure that you're not hiding something?). Mrs H is from Castlecroft, just off the A41, about 2 miles from Tettenhall.

The Wolves training ground was literally across the road from her parent's house, so as a child, Mrs H used to wander over and watch "our Emlyn" and the gang train. Apparently she was the only one who ever turned up to watch them train.

[Bruce Rioja]

Well, very close actually. (I'm impressed and surprised with both of your knowledge of the home of the inferior Wanderers. Are you sure that you're not hiding something?). Mrs H is from Castlecroft, just off the A41, about 2 miles from Tettenhall.

Well, Bobo describes it as being on the way into town, I prefer to refer to it as being on the way back out!

[bobo the clown]

.... the real Smithills, that is, not the current estate agent's Smithills which now appears to run down to as far as Eskrick St.)

Smithills starts at Moss Bank Way (you know, the single lane, dual carraigeway).

[TANGODANCER]

.... the real Smithills, that is, not the current estate agent's Smithills which now appears to run down to as far as Eskrick St.)

Smithills starts at Moss Bank Way (you know, the single lane, dual carraigeway).

The the old bus terminus at the top of Halliwell ( Ainsworth Arms) was what we Halliwellites used to define the start of Smithills, with Bluebell Forest as a border..

[Bruce Rioja]

.... the real Smithills, that is, not the current estate agent's Smithills which now appears to run down to as far as Eskrick St.)

Smithills starts at Moss Bank Way (you know, the single lane, dual carraigeway).

Don't tell me, tell the estate agents. When I was looking to move back to Bolton I was astonished at what they were trying to pass off as being in Smithills.

[boltonboris]

.... the real Smithills, that is, not the current estate agent's Smithills which now appears to run down to as far as Eskrick St.)

Smithills starts at Moss Bank Way (you know, the single lane, dual carraigeway).

Don't tell me, tell the estate agents. When I was looking to move back to Bolton I was astonished at what they were trying to pass off as being in Smithills.

Bit like estate agents around here, passing Little Hulton off as Worsley

[William the White]

Mrs Zulu hails from Walsall and has a sister living in Willenhall so I will maintain a dignified silence here.

feck it! Not possible. Willenhall is a complete shithole. There, I've said it.

I wrote a 'community play' for Willenhall... Basically, a professional team of writer, director, musicians, designer etc etc go to a particular community (often, as in this case, a deprived one) and recruit local people to act, sing, play music, make costumes, build sets, sell tickets etc for a play about their community...

In the end, in some way, or other, several hundred people are brought into discovering a creativity, hobby, passing interest, whatever, in something they didn't know they had - and have showed it off to a couple of thousand others from the place they live... A kind of irrigation of creativity of a place where it's hidden and needs to discover an outlet...

The play was called 'Humpshire', the local nickname for the town, and was performed at the Willenhall Community School...

I went onto write a second for Walsall called 'Junction Ten'...

I really enjoyed doing both and, in both, discovered I really liked Holden's beer - especially, the 'spesh...'

[as]

.... the real Smithills, that is, not the current estate agent's Smithills which now appears to run down to as far as Eskrick St.)

Smithills starts at Moss Bank Way (you know, the single lane, dual carraigeway).

The the old bus terminus at the top of Halliwell ( Ainsworth Arms) was what we Halliwellites used to define the start of Smithills, with Bluebell Forest as a border..

He's reet, you know. I know lads who live round there, bang on & on about Smithills when they live in Halliwell