General Chit Chat

[boltonboris]

I'm back - and - woe of all woes!! I seem to have missed Hoboh and BWFCi disagreeing over whether young blond girls are shaggable or not!

note to self.. go on holiday more often!!

What's your opinion, Bish?

[Bijou Bob]

Right chaps (And ladies) I'd appreciate your thoughts on this:

A female friend of mine went out on a first date on Saturday night. The guy bought a round of drinks in the pub, from where they went to a little bistro for something to eat. At the end of the meal, he let her pay the bill.

Now for me, he should at least have offered to go Dutch, but no, he let her pay for the lot. Is it just me being old fashioned about this or should he at least have offered to pay half?

[Bruce Rioja]

He should've paid the lot, the miserable c*nt.

[89bwfc89]

He should have offered to pay the lot, she should have offered to pay half, he should have insisted and paid the lot.

No second date for him!

[BWFC_Insane]

Go halves. We have a thing called equality now.

[superjohnmcginlay]

The tight cow should've got the drinks in as well.

[thebish]

Right chaps (And ladies) I'd appreciate your thoughts on this:

A female friend of mine went out on a first date on Saturday night. The guy bought a round of drinks in the pub, from where they went to a little bistro for something to eat. At the end of the meal, he let her pay the bill.

Now for me, he should at least have offered to go Dutch, but no, he let her pay for the lot. Is it just me being old fashioned about this or should he at least have offered to pay half?

I'd have expected him to have at least gone through the little end-of-meal "I'll pay/no I will/ let me/no I insist" charade-sparring before allowing her to pay..

this dating stuff is all a VERY long time ago for me - and I'm glad it's so - the world seems a whole lot more complicated now and I'm not sure I know the rules!

In today's world - might it not be seen as empowering to allow the woman to pay? I'm sure the whole "man pays" thing (chivalry aside) was at least partly an expression of power - and thus (perhaps) - an unspoken obligation for the woman to respond with some kind of other payment?? To allow the woman to pay MIGHT indicate that you are allowing her the power and the control that the man has usually assumed he has - and maybe the recognition that she is wealthier and more successful and doesn't need to be subbed or supported by a knight in shining armour...

or.. he might just be a stingy git!

[bobo the clown]

Overthinking it all, as usual Bish.

First date, he should have offered to pay ... if a debate ensued then whatever results is to be seen, but he should have offered.

I suspect there'll be no second date.

[Bijou Bob]

Thanks chaps. I'd be interested in the ahem, slightly younger forumites opinions on this, as it might be a generational thing.

I'm not ashamed to say that after I split with ex Mrs Bob many moons ago now, I did a bit of internet dating (And for the life of me in this day and age, I can't understand the ongoing stigma about it ) and it was an illuminating experience to say the least. There are a lot of extremely damaged people out there sadly.

I always offered to pay, although most dates wanted to split the bill. I think Bish has something in that rather a lot of women these days don't want to start a relationship with a power imbalance, particularly those who have been in abusive or controlling relationships previously.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Thanks chaps. I'd be interested in the ahem, slightly younger forumites opinions on this, as it might be a generational thing.

I'm not ashamed to say that after I split with ex Mrs Bob many moons ago now, I did a bit of internet dating (And for the life of me in this day and age, I can't understand the ongoing stigma about it ) and it was an illuminating experience to say the least. There are a lot of extremely damaged people out there sadly.

I always offered to pay, although most dates wanted to split the bill. I think Bish has something in that rather a lot of women these days don't want to start a relationship with a power imbalance, particularly those who have been in abusive or controlling relationships previously.

I am currently married with no plans to change that. I do however fancy a few free meals, therefore on Bijou Bob's advice I'm going to throw my prejudices aside and go out on some internet arranged dates so long as I can be a stingy git too. Marvellous, I love modern living

[89bwfc89]

At the very least I'd expect an offer of splitting the bill, if not an offer to pay the whole amount. Not going through the whole "I'll pay/no I'll pay/" thing is pretty shit imo.

6 years ago when me and Mr 89 got together he paid for everything for the first few dates, I'd always offer but he insisted.

Made a rod for his own back really, now I just put his card in my purse

[Bruce Rioja]

Go halves. We have a thing called equality now.

[BWFC_Insane]

Go halves. We have a thing called equality now.

Serious point though, the tradition of the bloke paying seems a little redundant today.

It stems from a time when women did not work and were kept by their fathers until a man whisked them away and took up their financial support.

I think given the equality (quite rightly) handed to women now, that they can't pick and choose.

I do think a bloke paying for everything (necessarily) is somewhat outdated. Not to say I wouldn't if I was able to still wine and dine various women. It's just the "done thing".

But it doesn't make much sense when you think about it.

[Annoyed Grunt]

The tight cow should've got the drinks in as well.

This..

[Bijou Bob]

The female consensus in the office (Unanimous - all 11 of them. aged from 29 to 64) reckon the bloke should pay on the first date and Dutch is acceptable thereafter. To a woman they all think that the bloke is a. Tight b. Not very intuitive c. Lacking in emotional intelligence and d. Nowhere near worth another date.

That told me!

[thebish]

The female consensus in the office (Unanimous - all 11 of them. aged from 29 to 64) reckon the bloke should pay on the first date and Dutch is acceptable thereafter. To a woman they all think that the bloke is a. Tight b. Not very intuitive c. Lacking in emotional intelligence and d. Nowhere near worth another date.

That told me!

did you ask them why it is considered that a bloke should pay on the first date? I mean - seriously, why is this the case??

[Annoyed Grunt]

The female consensus in the office (Unanimous - all 11 of them. aged from 29 to 64) reckon the bloke should pay on the first date and Dutch is acceptable thereafter. To a woman they all think that the bloke is a. Tight b. Not very intuitive c. Lacking in emotional intelligence and d. Nowhere near worth another date.

That told me!

did you ask them why it is considered that a bloke should pay on the first date? I mean - seriously, why is this the case??

Hasn't it always been "the done thing"? Shivery and all that.

[bobo the clown]

I think it's politeness.

But I'm old.

[Bruce Rioja]

I think it's politeness.

But I'm old.

I'm down with that - and I'm young and fresh-faced

[bobo the clown]

I think it's politeness.

But I'm old.

I'm down with that - and I'm young and fresh-faced

... & let's be fair, you are trying to get your leg over it.