News Headlines

[Abdoulaye's Twin]

http://www.arabianbusiness.com/australi ... 99546.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

If I appear to sit on the fence sometimes, then this might explain why

[Worthy4England]

So are they a bag o bastards, or what?

[Abdoulaye's Twin]

No one is a bag o bastards. everyone is lovely and everything is cool

[Worthy4England]

[Abdoulaye's Twin]

Apart from the bloke that farted at the checkout in Waitrose the other day. He's a dirty bastard

[Bruce Rioja]

I can tell them exactly what the cause of the fire is. This is what happens when Our Gaz attempts to wire a plug.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-33609272" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[thebish]

You couldn't make it up, they say - well, sometimes you can!

A satirical news website was just having a laugh in a story about the US saying sorry with a shipment of missiles to Israel but the next day the news turned out to be real.

On July 15 The Onion wrote in a headline: “US Soothes Upset Netanyahu With Shipment Of Ballistic Missiles”.

The site said the US were going to make Israel feel a bit better after having to swallow a bitter pill over the Iran nuclear deal.

The following day after that story, an Israel news source reported that the US government had in fact agree to a weapon’s deal with Israel, who had accepted US help.

But Israel’s Haaretz couldn’t help but notice they’d been beaten to the punch by 24 hours.

“There’s no other way around it: the fake newspaper broke the story,” Haaretz said in a blog post.

As is often the case The Onion quoted a fake US State Department spokesman in a humorous political shot.

“Of course, we try not to spoil him by giving him a whole new tactical ballistics delivery system every single time he throws a fit, but our guy’s pretty good at getting his way. At least we’ll have a couple months of peace and quiet around here.”.

However, come July 16 Barrack Obama said the US would be sending weapons to Israel to upgrade its military.

[Bruce Rioja]

Frankie Boyle's been on.

“Last week a proud, beautiful, beloved African creature, who’d lived the last years of his life in a fenced compound, was killed by a train in the Channel tunnel.

“That’s the British for you: criticising people fleeing genocide for pushing their children over a perimeter fence, when we’d do it for a 40% discount off an Asda telly.”

[Bijou Bob]

And as usual, Frankie has a point.

[Harry Genshaw]

Am loving the twitter response on this

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-33899755" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[thebish]

Am loving the twitter response on this

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-33899755" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Lost Leopard Spot]

I see Mount Aso has erupted...
As a youth (well, when I was younger anyway) I climbed down into the crater of Aso and stood next to one of the fumeroles... I wouldn't recommend it.

[Bruce Rioja]

Erupted? Yes, well, quite!

[Bruce Rioja]

Sunday Express's 'Worst Weather in Yonks' headline gets its annual outing.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Sunday Express's 'Worst Weather in Yonks' headline gets its annual outing.

This time it might (just maybe) be true - not that that's the point of course...

[bobo the clown]

The Express Editors seem simply to turn to the weather if ever there's no news. Frankly, even when there IS news.

[Lord Kangana]

Is anybody going to own up to buying The Express?

I don't know anyone who does - sadly I know people who buy (and the worst of it is actually f*cking read rather than wipe their arse with) The Mail - but The Express? I reckon their circulation figures are just made up, and it's being subsidised by some wealthy individual who wants the stupid proles to stay scared.

[Harry Genshaw]

The Express Editors seem simply to turn to the weather if ever there's no news. Frankly, even when there IS news.

That and Madeleine McCann.

In response to LKs question. I have bought it occasionally . In my defence I find it less embarrassing than the Daily Mail and it has a much better crossword

[Prufrock]

My grandparents buy it. I guess that's better? It *feels* less consequential than the Mail.

[Bruce Rioja]

The Express Editors seem simply to turn to the weather if ever there's no news. Frankly, even when there IS news.

That and Madeleine McCann.

In response to LKs question. I have bought it occasionally . In my defence I find it less embarrassing than the Daily Mail and it has a much better crossword

Have they given up on Diana conspiracies now, then? They must've milked that for at least 15 years.

And also in response to LK's question, our accountant at work. That is all. Seriously.