Joke thread

jaffka · Post by **jaffka** » Fri Mar 18, 2011 5:19 pm

seanworth wrote:I quite liked them. Sometimes there is nothing better than a great silly joke.

I can imagine that you tell a select few of these to your patrons.

seanworth · Post by **seanworth** » Fri Mar 18, 2011 6:10 pm

I have been known to I must admit.

jaffka · Post by **jaffka** » Fri Mar 18, 2011 6:51 pm

only the same as me with my mates

jaffka · Post by **jaffka** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 11:52 am

A successful businessman flew to Las Vegas for the weekend to gamble.

He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -- if he could just get to the airport he could get himself home.

So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers licence number, his address, etc. but to no avail.

The cabbie said, "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!"

So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

A year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the Casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.

Well, who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.

The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line. "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked the driver?

"Fifteen bucks," came the reply.

"And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?"

"What?! Get the hell out of my cab!" yelled the driver.

The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked, "How much for a ride to the airport?"

The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks."

The businessman said "ok" and off they went.

Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each of the other drivers...

Worthy4England · Post by **Worthy4England** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 12:13 pm

Was that it?????

jaffka · Post by **jaffka** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 12:16 pm

Worthy4England wrote:Was that it?????

Worthy4England · Post by **Worthy4England** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 12:36 pm

jaffka wrote:
Worthy4England wrote:Was that it?????

Kev, whatever you did to allow this joke to be posted, please could you change it back?

seanworth · Post by **seanworth** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 1:01 pm

Don't think I'll bother repeating that one in the pub.

jaffka · Post by **jaffka** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 1:02 pm

just wait until I start posting all my online casino links

in fact I wonder what else I can get away with...

keveh · Post by **keveh** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 2:23 pm

Lmao!

plymouth wanderer · Post by **plymouth wanderer** » Sun Mar 20, 2011 7:21 pm

Elton John has just announced a break from touring and recording to begin work on an autobiography, tentatively titled, "Men Are From Mars - Women Are From Venus , And I Want Uranus"

William the White · Post by **William the White** » Sun Mar 20, 2011 9:06 pm

plymouth wanderer wrote:Elton John has just announced a break from touring and recording to begin work on an autobiography, tentatively titled, "Men Are From Mars - Women Are From Venus , And I Want Uranus"

And on which planet of the solar system is that funny?

Montreal Wanderer · Post by **Montreal Wanderer** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 2:17 am

William the White wrote:
plymouth wanderer wrote:Elton John has just announced a break from touring and recording to begin work on an autobiography, tentatively titled, "Men Are From Mars - Women Are From Venus , And I Want Uranus"
And on which planet of the solar system is that funny?

Conceivably Planet hoboh?

Hoboh · Post by **Hoboh** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 5:05 am

Montreal Wanderer wrote:
William the White wrote:
plymouth wanderer wrote:Elton John has just announced a break from touring and recording to begin work on an autobiography, tentatively titled, "Men Are From Mars - Women Are From Venus , And I Want Uranus"
And on which planet of the solar system is that funny?
Conceivably Planet hoboh?

Not!!

plymouth wanderer · Post by **plymouth wanderer** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 8:13 am

boltonboris · Post by **boltonboris** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 12:27 pm

Lighten up you sad bastards

Lofthouse Lower · Post by **Lofthouse Lower** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 12:31 pm

William the White wrote:
plymouth wanderer wrote:Elton John has just announced a break from touring and recording to begin work on an autobiography, tentatively titled, "Men Are From Mars - Women Are From Venus , And I Want Uranus"
And on which planet of the solar system is that funny?

You really are worthy of this =

Lofthouse Lower · Post by **Lofthouse Lower** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 12:32 pm

plymouth wanderer wrote:Elton John has just announced a break from touring and recording to begin work on an autobiography, tentatively titled, "Men Are From Mars - Women Are From Venus , And I Want Uranus"

plymouth wanderer · Post by **plymouth wanderer** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 4:39 pm

Lofthouse Lower wrote:
plymouth wanderer wrote:Elton John has just announced a break from touring and recording to begin work on an autobiography, tentatively titled, "Men Are From Mars - Women Are From Venus , And I Want Uranus"

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Wed Mar 23, 2011 9:10 pm

Not a joke but funny.

Contestant on The Weakest Link , when asked what he did, said he workd in a gay establishment.
The harpie asked him: "Are you gay?"
He replied: "No, I just help them out when they're busy"
I almost pxxed myself.

Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Re: Joke thread

Who is online

Connect with your social network account

Who is online