Things your nan says

[TANGODANCER]

Neither of my Nanas ever said anything even remotely daft. Thank-you!

[warthog]

Three of my grandparents snuffed it before I was born and the other lasted until I was six. So no grannyisms for me.

However, there was my Auntie Polly (who was really an aged distant cousin of my mum).

On the opening credits of Coronation Street there used to be a shot of a cat, settling down for a nap on the roof an outside toilet. "How do they get that cat to do that every week?" she asked once.

Then there was my mum, god rest her. I've got an open fire and she was convinced that coal that had been in the shed for a while, burned less well because 'it's old.' I gave up trying to explain that it had been in the ground for a few million years before it was delivered.

[enfieldwhite]

My mum was once watching 'Chinatown' with the whole family on a Saturday night. '' I thought this was a 'black comedy' ''quoth she, after referring to the TV times. "only I've been watching this for 15 minutes and I haven't seen THAT many Black people"

[marshall_42]

'DRINK' 'FECK' & 'ARSE'

[Harry Genshaw]

My mates Grandma once said in a room full of people

"So what is a nice person?"

My own Gran playing trivial pursuit with the family years ago guessed that Adolf Hitlers religion was "C of E"

and talking of casual racism I dont even want to repeat what my Grandad said on one of his last stays in hospital. Suffice to say I ended up apologizing on his behalf to half a dozen people.