Today I'm neither Angry nor Happy about....

[Worthy4England]

I legged it to the shop earlier to get some work shirts, new work jacket and some keks.

I was given the instruction "Don't come back looking like Coco the Clown"...

I'm now being taken back to the shop to swap some stuff...

[bobo the clown]

I legged it to the shop earlier to get some work shirts, new work jacket and some keks.

I was given the instruction "Don't come back looking like Coco the Clown"...

I'm now being taken back to the shop to swap some stuff...

I'll have'em !!

[Bruce Rioja]

I legged it to the shop earlier to get some work shirts, new work jacket and some keks.

I was given the instruction "Don't come back looking like Coco the Clown"...

I'm now being taken back to the shop to swap some stuff...

I'll have'em !!

You've not asked if they come with pedagogical elbow patches yet?!

[Worthy4England]

I've just purchased the Valentine's flowers.

I'm now off for a sit down, in a dark room...

[LeverEnd]

'The Wonderer' from the Bolton News. Possibly the most inane piece of drivel I've ever wasted my time reading.

http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/sport/10 ... s/?ref=mrs

[Bruce Rioja]

'The Wonderer' from the Bolton News. Possibly the most inane piece of drivel I've ever wasted my time reading.

http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/sport/10 ... s/?ref=mrs

Without a doubt the most pointless article that I've ever read!

[TANGODANCER]

The Bolton News itself is pointless. Sports news is either behind or meaningless and the whole paper is just car and property ads wrapped in four pages of nonesense. At 65p a time it makes the free Metro look like a Christmas present.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

It's been a bad day, or I've been a bad boy, or it might be both.
About eight am I got an email informing me to inform my team that we are going to have a Diversity meeting in the afternoon.
I promptly forgot about this, and then suddenly remembered and blurted out to Jim in the kitchen that we're to have a diversity meeting. "What the fooks one of them?" asked Jim, to which I replied "gawd knows, probably dance lessons", and at which point some strained looking Gorgon appears in the kitchen doorway and delivers bollocking number uno about it not being a joking matter, that this is serious business, before she toddles off upstairs with a couple of big cheeses following in her snaky hipped wake.
About an hour later Medusa took an impromptu tour of the building on an inspection to make sure everybody had carried out the latest diktat and we are all displaying our appropriate Safety Statements. She obviously stopped at my desk and unfortunately discovered the pisstake I had concocted: "Nobody shall cavort on the desks under my watch" one of her snakes spat, before delivering bollocking number two.
Anyway, we had the diversity meeting, fully attended, wherein it was hinted at strongly that we needed to set up a LGBT group within the division because (and here I quote directly) 'Failure to make the working environment an inclusive place means we don’t get the most out of our employees. It is up to everybody to make people feel it’s OK to be themselves'. This only kinda began to make sense after one of the big cheeses inadvertently enlightened me as to what the fecking acronym stood for during one of his longwinded declamations (I have heard it before but had forgotten it).
A little bit later, not having learnt the lesson that our particular viper-crowned creature has extraordinary sneakupability, I was caught once more in flagrante delicto with Jim discussing our very lack of a target market for the suggested LGBT workplace community - "I don't think we've got any Gay, err [temporarily forgetting the rest of the acronym and substituting it with a more easily remembered one] bacon, lettuce and tomatoes here" I proffered. Of course Medusa had manifested behind me and turned me to stone with a third bollocking...

I'm about ready for a welcome change to diversity and am looking forward to my regular pub visitation, I'm telling you.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

(I double checked to make sure she wasn't reading that over my shoulder as I typed it in).

[Gooner Girl]

Poorly chicken. Been in a box in our kitchen for the past few days as she was struggling with the horrible weather, head down, hunched up, not right. She's really skinny and had a pooey bum (bathed her this morning so that's better for now at least) but not sure what to do next. She's not gone down hill but guess I am still looking at a trip to the vets though its not very often they can do anything to make them better.

[Bijou Bob]

Fantastic LLS!

Ive been to 2 in the past few years. For the first I'd done my research and as the trainer put up her first slide complete with statistics about asylum seekers, I let rip with "Those statistics were discredited as being inaccurate by the National Audit Office 3 years ago".

She persisted. Apparently, there were (I forget the exact figures) 103 million refugees worldwide. The Uk would only take a miniscule half of one percent, a miniscule number. "Er, thats over half a million people". It went downhill from there. Cue first official complaint.

The second was a cracker. A full day of induction training. First session Equality and Diversity. No issues there. Second session, Fire Safety. First slide - a picture of an oiled up, semi naked fireman. "Er...." I started. "Just because you've not got a body like that" said one of my female colleagues, forgetting everything we'd been told in the previous hour. My turn to complain.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Poorly chicken. Been in a box in our kitchen for the past few days as she was struggling with the horrible weather, head down, hunched up, not right. She's really skinny and had a pooey bum (bathed her this morning so that's better for now at least) but not sure what to do next. She's not gone down hill but guess I am still looking at a trip to the vets though its not very often they can do anything to make them better.

I'm possibly not the world's greatest chicken vet, but haven't they all got pooey bums ?
I'd suggest waterfowl jealousy with subsequent depression... a good meal of earthwoims and a quick hair dry should set her right I reckon.

[bobo the clown]

I deliver Diversity Training.

No, really ... I do. I do it surprisingly well. I base it on what proper diversity isn't rather than some right-on, over the top bullshit.

My only, & very genuine, warning LLS is not to take this Gorgon lightly. She may need a head on a stake and 3 bollockings in a day could do you great damange.

[Gooner Girl]

Poorly chicken. Been in a box in our kitchen for the past few days as she was struggling with the horrible weather, head down, hunched up, not right. She's really skinny and had a pooey bum (bathed her this morning so that's better for now at least) but not sure what to do next. She's not gone down hill but guess I am still looking at a trip to the vets though its not very often they can do anything to make them better.

I'm possibly not the world's greatest chicken vet, but haven't they all got pooey bums ?
I'd suggest waterfowl jealousy with subsequent depression... a good meal of earthwoims and a quick hair dry should set her right I reckon.

No, not to the degree that she had which tends to suggest something is wrong if it wasn't so obvious by other clues. Not sure what right thing to do is.

[TANGODANCER]

I deliver Diversity Training.

No, really ... I do. I do it surprisingly well. I base it on what proper diversity isn't rather than some right-on, over the top bullshit.

My only, & very genuine, warning LLS is not to take this Gorgon lightly. She may need a head on a stake and 3 bollockings in a day could do you great damange.

Does anybody bother actually doing any work these days?

[LeverEnd]

Jesus LLS, i thought teaching was bad for pointless bullshit.
My Head of Dept was asked to chair a 'Mediation Meeting' between me and an occasionally obnoxious 14 yr old who I had aggressively bollocked for his poor behaviour. He had a go back and stomped off and then did a detention. Next lesson he was fine, because he knows I'm not a soft touch and that once things have been dealt with we start with a clean slate. I politely declined the meeting with a raised eyebrow, which made my already sniggering HoD laugh her head off.
Some of these career-climbing idiots are falling over themselves to pretend how 'child-centred' they are while trying to boost themselves up the payscale faster than you can say 'short-term learning journey' (lesson plan, to the uninitiated). Not all are like that it must be said, but the sooner I get out of teaching the better.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

I deliver Diversity Training.

No, really ... I do. I do it surprisingly well. I base it on what proper diversity isn't rather than some right-on, over the top bullshit.

My only, & very genuine, warning LLS is not to take this Gorgon lightly. She may need a head on a stake and 3 bollockings in a day could do you great damange.

Oh, worry not, I took it all very seriously. What she couldn't (and refused to even try) was the real inherent humour incorporated in bollockings 1 & 3.
Bollocking 2 was, I admit, my total and utter contempt for the dictated to be shown on each and every desk template - it was designed for on site work, we operate purely in an office environment.
But, in total I've not done myself any favours, but I know it won't go further due to the amount of profit I put their way

[Lost Leopard Spot]

I deliver Diversity Training.

No, really ... I do. I do it surprisingly well. I base it on what proper diversity isn't rather than some right-on, over the top bullshit.

My only, & very genuine, warning LLS is not to take this Gorgon lightly. She may need a head on a stake and 3 bollockings in a day could do you great damange.

Does anybody bother actually doing any work these days?

Yes and No.
We've spent a week, nearly, waiting for data from xxx xxx company. We were eventually told this morning their data centre was flooded. Their newly opened centralised at a cost of millions goddam data centre designed to provide with an uninterrupted stream if data.
I've warned my team that protracted thumb twiddling will be the order of this week...

[bobo the clown]

Jesus LLS, i thought teaching was bad for pointless bullshit.
My Head of Dept was asked to chair a 'Mediation Meeting' between me and an occasionally obnoxious 14 yr old who I had aggressively bollocked for his poor behaviour. He had a go back and stomped off and then did a detention. Next lesson he was fine, because he knows I'm not a soft touch and that once things have been dealt with we start with a clean slate. I politely declined the meeting with a raised eyebrow, which made my already sniggering HoD laugh her head off.
Some of these career-climbing idiots are falling over themselves to pretend how 'child-centred' they are while trying to boost themselves up the payscale faster than you can say 'short-term learning journey' (lesson plan, to the uninitiated). Not all are like that it must be said, but the sooner I get out of teaching the better.

I do mediation as well .... I shit you not.

it can't work via instruction, both parties must want to be there and the person facilitating the mediation has to be unconnected and really, pretty skilled in moving matters along.

I coukd make a fortune sorting you guys out.

[Bruce Rioja]

Does anybody bother actually doing any work these days?

People that write and present diversity programmes?