Joke thread

[Lost Leopard Spot]

That's probably the 2nd oldest joke I recall from primary school. The other being about knock knock and Dr Who!

You started it with my dog's got no nose.

True, but I didn't put that in the joke thread.

You should have done! Look how well it's gone down.

[Always hopeful]

That's probably the 2nd oldest joke I recall from primary school. The other being about knock knock and Dr Who!

You started it with my dog's got no nose.

True, but I didn't put that in the joke thread.

You should have done! Look how well it's gone down.

Touche

[Annoyed Grunt]

First Thatcher dies.

Then Fergie retires.

Somewhere there's a Scouser with a lamp, and one wish left....

[Lost Leopard Spot]

First Thatcher dies.

Then Fergie retires.

Somewhere there's a Scouser with a lamp, and one wish left....

(he'll be wishing his donger could touch the floor....



... and then his legs'll drop off).

[Andy Waller]

First Thatcher dies.

Then Fergie retires.

Somewhere there's a Scouser with a lamp, and one wish left....

I fail to entertain any scenario whereupon finding a golden lamp, said Scouser isn't straight off to Cash Generator.

[TANGODANCER]

First Thatcher dies.

Then Fergie retires.

Somewhere there's a Scouser with a lamp, and one wish left....

I fail to entertain any scenario whereupon finding a golden lamp, said Scouser isn't straight off to Cash Generator.

Except if he found it on a hot day and said, Giz a pint of ice cold lager. Giz another, Oh, giz another....ohhh shxt.

[Prufrock]

A king, a bishop and a knight walk into a bar.

The barman says to the king "I can't serve those two mate. They can't walk straight."

[89bwfc89]

A king, a bishop and a knight walk into a bar.

The barman says to the king "I can't serve those two mate. They can't walk straight."

I've read this once already today and I can't think where from, it's driving me insane. Reveal your source!!

[Prufrock]

Are you suggesting that I don't come up with the jokes I post on here myslef?!

[89bwfc89]

Hahaha! I'm sure wherever I saw it they got it off you! Now tell me!

[Prufrock]

Sickipedia.

[mrkint]

My neighbour finally confronted me about clothes missing from her washing line.

I nearly shit her pants.

[Montreal Wanderer]

My neighbour finally confronted me about clothes missing from her washing line.

I nearly shit her pants.

In this thread, July 23 2011

When my neighbour confronted me about items missing from her washing line, I nearly shit her pants.

Adding the words 'When' and 'finally' does not make this original. Royalties still go to Grunto.

[seanworth]

My neighbour finally confronted me about clothes missing from her washing line.

I nearly shit her pants.

In this thread, July 23 2011

When my neighbour confronted me about items missing from her washing line, I nearly shit her pants.

Adding the words 'When' and 'finally' does not make this original. Royalties still go to Grunto.

How do you even remember shit like that?

[Montreal Wanderer]

My neighbour finally confronted me about clothes missing from her washing line.

I nearly shit her pants.

In this thread, July 23 2011

When my neighbour confronted me about items missing from her washing line, I nearly shit her pants.

Adding the words 'When' and 'finally' does not make this original. Royalties still go to Grunto.

How do you even remember shit like that?

I don't remember much but I read that joke with a sense of deja vu. After that it is easy to do the search. Normally I wouldn't bother but mrkint has been a harsh arbiter on Only Connect so I have to get my own back any way I can.

[Annoyed Grunt]

^^^

[mrkint]

I must have been washing my hair that day



Right. WELL. I've just made an original brain fart up (well last night on twitter)

My friend works as a sub editor. Yesterday he woke up with a terrible bout of participlitis, so he rung in [sic]

Does it even make sense? I don't care. Now try sourcing that! :p

[Montreal Wanderer]

I must have been washing my hair that day



Right. WELL. I've just made an original brain fart up (well last night on twitter)

My friend works as a sub editor. Yesterday he woke up with a terrible bout of participlitis, so he rung in [sic]

Does it even make sense? I don't care. Now try sourcing that! :p

The grammarians, at least the tense ones, would tell that "he rang in [sic]".

[mrkint]

I must have been washing my hair that day



Right. WELL. I've just made an original brain fart up (well last night on twitter)

My friend works as a sub editor. Yesterday he woke up with a terrible bout of participlitis, so he rung in [sic]

Does it even make sense? I don't care. Now try sourcing that! :p

The grammarians, at least the tense ones, would tell that "he rang in [sic]".

I'm sure that rang in is correct and rung in is wrong

[Bruce Rioja]

I got it, Kinto, and it made me chuckle