Today I'm happy about......

[Bruce Rioja]

Well, I've never heard it ... nor 'get it' here today. AND I drink Earl Grey !!

Mae pob te priodol yn dychwelyd lladrad.

Think nothing of it.

Chwarae teg, ond mae'r te yn unig priodol yn Earl Grey, mae pawb yn gwybod hynny.

Yn wir, wanller.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

It's Monday. And a certain young chap is obviously back at skool doin is egnlish lessens... leave long and prosper. Pax vobiscum.

[bobo the clown]

It's Monday. And a certain young chap is obviously back at skool doin is egnlish lessens... leave long and prosper. Pax vobiscum.

"Do you mean me ?"

[Lost Leopard Spot]

It's Monday. And a certain young chap is obviously back at skool doin is egnlish lessens... leave long and prosper. Pax vobiscum.

"Do you mean me ?"

[thebish]

Oh yesss!!!! just got myself taken out of self-assessment!!!

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Ahh, but that still leaves the self non-assessment to get through.
My self-assessment is fairly easy: I look in the mirror, shake my head, and say "oh dear!" a couple of times.
Maybe you're harder on yourself, or does your self-assessment get non-self assessed by others?

[Bijou Bob]

Oh yesss!!!! just got myself taken out of self-assessment!!!

How?? Tell me how!!

[thebish]

Ahh, but that still leaves the self non-assessment to get through.
My self-assessment is fairly easy: I look in the mirror, shake my head, and say "oh dear!" a couple of times.
Maybe you're harder on yourself, or does your self-assessment get non-self assessed by others?

I did, of course, mean Income Tax!

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Ahh, but that still leaves the self non-assessment to get through.
My self-assessment is fairly easy: I look in the mirror, shake my head, and say "oh dear!" a couple of times.
Maybe you're harder on yourself, or does your self-assessment get non-self assessed by others?

I did, of course, mean Income Tax!

I see...

(that's good too).

[thebish]

Oh yesss!!!! just got myself taken out of self-assessment!!!

How?? Tell me how!!

well - with my self-assessment forms this year was a sheet of paper that said in RED - "Should I be in Self Assessment?" it claimed that if I could answer NO to all the following questions, then they might take me out of self-assessment:

• self employed or partner in a business at any time in the year
  company director
  income over £100,000
  >£10,000 in savings and investment income
  >£2,500 in untaxed income
  income from letting out property
  foreign income liable to UK tax
  expenses or professional subscriptions of £2,500 or more

so i rang the number - and the bloke said (subject to my local office confirming this) I was freeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

[thebish]

also - my missus was f'ing and blinding in the study whilst filling her Self Assessment forms in.. so I asked the bloke if I could be a bit cheeky while I had him on the phone (it involved about 20mins waiting on hold before i got through) could he fix it for my missus to be taken out of self assessment too! he said - put her oin - and now she's free too!

I suspect that because the govt have slashed revenue staff their workload is just too big and they simply can't process it all - so they are looking to lop off us small-scale self-assessment people for whom it only ever really makes £50 difference either way...

[Abdoulaye's Twin]

Oh yesss!!!! just got myself taken out of self-assessment!!!

How?? Tell me how!!

Leave the country

[thebish]

for me - self assessment is a bit of a waste of time...

I have to declare extra stuff - like funeral income

but then it's usually pretty much balanced off by me being able to claim for heat and light of a portion of the house as I can be classed as working from home...

especially if i work out the gas/leccy bill and what proportion was used to heat the "work" function of my house AFTER I tot up how much I have raked in in cash-in-brown-envelope funeral wonga....

all a colossal waste of time - and I am sure it costs them more to send me the forms every year and then run my maths through their system and either tell me I owe them £23.17 or they owe me £3.50 than they make out of the whole process...

[bobo the clown]

Oh yesss!!!! just got myself taken out of self-assessment!!!

How?? Tell me how!!

well - with my self-assessment forms this year was a sheet of paper that said in RED - "Should I be in Self Assessment?" it claimed that if I could answer NO to all the following questions, then they might take me out of self-assessment:

• self employed or partner in a business at any time in the year
  company director
  income over £100,000
  >£10,000 in savings and investment income
  >£2,500 in untaxed income
  income from letting out property
  foreign income liable to UK tax
  expenses or professional subscriptions of £2,500 or more

so i rang the number - and the bloke said (subject to my local office confirming this) I was freeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Sooooo, the collection plates are all yours now.

Bwah, haa-haa-haa.

[thebish]

Sooooo, the collection plates are all yours now.

Bwah, haa-haa-haa.

oh yes - I'll retire to the bahamas with the proceeds...

a half-sucked polo mint, some washers, a biscuit wrapper, 2 old pence and a screwed up hymnsheet...

[Always hopeful]

I'm not sure whether I'm happier about the Gypsies that were camped 20 yards across the road from my house finally getting evicted, or Coyle getting the sack.

A good day whichever way you look at it.

[Gooner Girl]

Have had a really crappy week, have been feeling pretty low and walked into work today to find out my first lesson was being observed as part of the pools overall assesments/checks they do occasionally. Heart sunk further. My assistant didn't arrive til halfway through the lesson and he was the most useless there is, but despite that got really good, positive feedback that i had taken a 'very effective' lesson which made me feel a bit better about my abilities given i had been feeling pretty rubbish about myself work wise due to moaning parent at the pool and all the crap with the school in the past 6 months.

[bobo the clown]

Have had a really crappy week, have been feeling pretty low and walked into work today to find out my first lesson was being observed as part of the pools overall assesments/checks they do occasionally. Heart sunk further. My assistant didn't arrive til halfway through the lesson and he was the most useless there is, but despite that got really good, positive feedback that i had taken a 'very effective' lesson which made me feel a bit better about my abilities given i had been feeling pretty rubbish about myself work wise due to moaning parent at the pool and all the crap with the school in the past 6 months.

These are private lessons I assume ?

Tell him to feck off & time his over-pampered little Henrietta with him.

[Gooner Girl]

No, that parent was a group lesson one. Apparently Henrietta is far too advanced for the group she has been put in and needs to be challenged more because she is just brilliant... Not seen any sign of brilliance yet it has to be said...

[TANGODANCER]

No, that parent was a group lesson one. Apparently Henrietta is far too advanced for the group she has been put in and needs to be challenged more because she is just brilliant... Not seen any sign of brilliance yet it has to be said...

Reminds me of when we joined a dance class just for fun G.G.. Been dancing all my life but I enjoy going back to beginnings, always the chance of learning something new. My mate can't dance at all but was really enjoying learning till his wife, who wouldn't come with us (" I've got a gold medal for Paso Doble, you know")came along and embarrased us all by walking off the floor and declaring loudly she thought it was a "proper" dance. Known them socially for years and I've never seen any evidence whatsoever of her being a threat to Ginger Rogers. Was gobsmacked at her manners, or total lack of. My mate never went back.