Ask Mar

[Bruce Rioja]

Mar.

As I nibble my way through the oh-so-more-ish and not-so-traditionally-festive remains of the Bombay Mix, it's dawned on me that it should now be called 'Mumbai Mix' instead. Why isn't it?

Further, not only is Bombay Duck no longer from Bombay (as explained), but it was never duck in the first place. What on Earth is it now?

[thebish]

you couldn't make it up Bruce - try as you may!!!

http://www.newkerala.com/news3.php?acti ... s&id=24372


(actually this is an urban myth - that many people actually believe - t'was printed as fact in the super-soaraway... for those what want to know - there is a useful list of bonkers euro-myths here:

http://ec.europa.eu/dgs/communication/f ... dex_en.htm

though - I guess it is too late - most of these stories are held to be totally true by most Brits....)

[Bruce Rioja]

you couldn't make it up Bruce - try as you may!!!

http://www.newkerala.com/news3.php?acti ... s&id=24372

Bloody Hell It was just one of those silly little things that presents itself in your head without satisfactory reason!! Anyway, thanks for the other link. thebish. I'll have a good read through that. Did it mention the Bombay Duck thing? Don't worry, I'll look myself.

[thebish]

Further, not only is Bombay Duck no longer from Bombay (as explained), but it was never duck in the first place. What on Earth is it now?

it's dried fish, I think...

(now I've gone and looked it up...)

it's this fish:



acording to www.bombay-duck.co.uk...

Also called bummalo, Bombay Duck is a marine lizardfish, Harpodon nehereus, from southern Asia, particularly abundant in the Ganges Delta and the Arabian Sea of western India. It's a narrow, usually 6 to 8 inches long, slimy fish. It is caught in November and December; the processing goes on from December until March.

Under normal cooking conditions the fresh bummalo fish is almost rendered to a pulp (bones and all). It can also be dipped in batter and deep-fried.

Bombay Duck is prepared in two ways. The whole fish are washed clean, split, boned, and dried in the sun. The drying is done on scaffolds made from bamboo poles fixed in the sand with bars tied with thick ropes horizontally in lines one above the other. This is the method adopted for the local market.

it is called "duck" because (allegedly):

During the British Raj, the Europeans could not stand the smell of the fish drying in the sun. It reminded them of the odor of the wooden railroad cars of the Bombay Mail train, which I am quite sure turned musty and pungent during the monsoon. The Hindi word for mail is "dak", hence the Bombay-Dak, or Bombay-Duck."

or...

the Victorians were embarrassed to refer to bummalo fish because it sounded rude. They decided to make up a name similar to another dried fish called a "Digby Chick", dried herring.

now come on girls and boys - who said bummalo??

[Bruce Rioja]

What I do remember is that during one crapulent evening at the Raj Manzil, a friend of mine complained to the waiter that the Bombay Duck that he'd ordered appeared to have been eaten by a scrawny fish!

[TANGODANCER]

it's this fish:

I'd rather have to eat it than catch it.

[Bruce Rioja]

From thebish's link - this peach;

The Press: Shake 'n back – EU tells women to hand in worn-out sex toys
Red-faced women will have to hand in their clapped-out sex toys under a new EU law. They must take back old vibrators for recycling before they can buy a new one.
(The Sun, 04 February 2004, page 22)

The Facts: Under the Waste Electronic and Electrical Equipment directives member states must ensure that, as from 13 August 2005, final owners of such goods may return their products to the retailer for recycling at no cost. There is no requirement for anyone to hand in old electrical goods before being allowed to purchase new ones, merely that they should be able to do so free of charge if they so wish.

[thebish]

it never ceases to amaze me that a Newspaper should be allowed to get away with printing blatant untruths so often...

[Mar]

Mar.

As I nibble my way through the oh-so-more-ish and not-so-traditionally-festive remains of the Bombay Mix, it's dawned on me that it should now be called 'Mumbai Mix' instead. Why isn't it?

Further, not only is Bombay Duck no longer from Bombay (as explained), but it was never duck in the first place. What on Earth is it now?

Don't listen to a word of what these so called 'researchers' have come up with. It's completely false and been repeated so much that it is seen as less of a myth than more of a common truth now.

According to the March edition of the Unpopular Science Magazine 1643, Bombay Ducks apparently come from a long legacy of stable foods for the best wrestler in the midget wrestling region of Turkmenistan. Apparently Chepak Deopra, known for his ability to successfully duck from his opponents (much akin to a Turtle neck retraction), discovered the odd looking fish delicacy when he was practicing a move he later refered to as the Bombay Slam. Chepak, upon practicing the new slam maneouver off a nearby dock in Bombay, stumbled upon the fish and made a point of cooking one. Realizing the ducks strange potential to enable Chepak to retract his head an extra 3 inches, he started having the duck shipped in to become his stable meal for the rest of his career. The fish caused brain damage and as a result Chepak started calling the fish 'the Bombay Duck', which is where the confusion and newly found naming popularity continued into the late 1650's.

Here is a picture of Chepak Deopra undergoing his lightweight metal phase to try and revive his failing career in 1647.


Apparently, his heavy metal phase was met with little movement and lots of pain.

[Mar]

LW,

Your car skidding problem has not gone unnoticed. Fortunately for you here are a few ways to correct the experience. Note: Mar does not hold responsibility the accidents caused from attempting the following instructions. If, in the case of attempting these instructions your car becomes one of the following; frozen, broken into approximately 83 different coloured peices, unhinged, shrunk, a winged beast with four teeth or turned into a 1962 convertible then be sure to take a photo. Mar is willing to pay 2 rupees per 100 different photos up to a limit of 1200 provided that these photos prevent Mar from refering to himself in third person.

Anyway onto the cure:-

1) Deploy stabilizers. Often the solution to problems with small bikes and smaller riders. Stabilizers help with control the aptly named idiot factor associated with mistakes made by the driver. Provided the ground is not wet this solution should see you controlling better than before.


2) Get a police escort. This willing officer (below) is more than happy to mount a bike in the hopes of becoming your first victim. Slipping is no longer a problem when this fine officer is taking the lead. He is available for the fine fee of £27k per year and comes shipped with a family of four and a toothbrush.


5)Use brick wheels. The creators of Lego stumbled upon a fine invention here. Apply lego brick wheels on lego surfaces and it removes the wheels efficiency. Control is no longer a problem that needs to be dealt with.


4) Remove wheels completely. A car without wheels is a car that doesn't skid. Bingo problem solved.


6) Have some gravy. Everyone loves gravy.


7) See number 3 and apply midgets.

Steal this beaut. Unearth this gem and you'll find yourself which was once considered one of the finest racing cars known. Who says racing stripes make your car go faster. This browned out effect makes the car stop slipping. FACT.

[CrazyHorse]

Mar,
How come no one has asked you owt in over a year?

[Batman]

mar - have you lost your touch?

[Mar]

Mar,
How come no one has asked you owt in over a year?

Questions are like meals. When you are fully satisfied do you ask for another?

mar - have you lost your touch?

I could keep asking myself that one to find the answer but instead i'll just distract myself by the new midget handball league for the terminally ill.

[Bruce Rioja]

Mar. Where can I get a new tyre fitted on a Sunday?

[Worthy4England]

Mar, I have a Sunday Paper dilemma.

I've been studiously avoiding them the last few weeks, as there's not been a half decent footy game to read about. Today, I can't make my mind up, as being able to read about Reading and Bolton, I'd also have to encounter pictures of happy Welsh bastards who conned my beloved England team out of their deserved victory at Twickers.

What should I do?

[Bruce Rioja]

Mar, I have a Sunday Paper dilemma.

I've been studiously avoiding them the last few weeks, as there's not been a half decent footy game to read about. Today, I can't make my mind up, as being able to read about Reading and Bolton, I'd also have to encounter pictures of happy Welsh bastards who conned my beloved England team out of their deserved victory at Twickers.

What should I do?

In Mar's absence, Worthy, I can knock your dilemma down by a count of one. To wit: don't bother with The Independent. The match report, whilst offering a basic version of events offers little else "Jaaskelainen's free-kick was punted long into Reading's area, where Davies nodded it down to Nolan and he finished with the minimum of fuss from10 yards", and on the front page it has a picture of Jonny Wilkinson seemingly having an eye gouged out under the heading "Wales maul England".

[Bruce Rioja]

Mar, how come the wankers at Smith Knight Fay couldn't be bothered to answer the fecking phone?

[Mar]

Mar. Where can I get a new tyre fitted on a Sunday?

Ah Bruce. Sorry for the late reply but i've been trying in earnest to figure this one out for quite some time. I approached the problem from a different angle and tried to fit a car onto a new tyre. There's so many more options to choose from when you try doing this and you're limited only by the cars that fit.



Enjoy. You'll find the customised beeping noise for a horn goes down a treat.

[Bruce Rioja]

I always knew you'd come good in the end!

[Mar]

Mar, I have a Sunday Paper dilemma.

I've been studiously avoiding them the last few weeks, as there's not been a half decent footy game to read about. Today, I can't make my mind up, as being able to read about Reading and Bolton, I'd also have to encounter pictures of happy Welsh bastards who conned my beloved England team out of their deserved victory at Twickers.

What should I do?

Take those fancy pants Sunday Paper newspapers and sleep on it.



Before you know it. It'll be Monday again and you can read a Monday paper!