General Chit Chat

[mummywhycantieatcrayons]

I decided I wanted to read it a while back until a number of people including on here warned me off on account of the fact it's just the ramblings of a deranged nutter. I decided not to bother. Feck knows what I was expecting!!

An uncle left me a load of books when he died, including a copy of Mein Kampf in translation.

I thought it was an interesting thing to perhaps have a flick through, which I did... slightly disturbing when some newspaper cut outs about Hitler fell out of it!

[Prufrock]

Ha! Struggling to think of an innocent explanation. Moustache aficionado?

[thebish]

spent the morning in the shed - too long since I did that - feel much better for it!

project: how to provide candelight for the candlelight service this coming sunday for those sitting in the pews in an old chapel without them holding a drippy candle for an hour and either setting each other alight, dripping wax on each other, dripping wax all over the church - or any combination of the above...

the answer...

cut out ten squares of MDF:



drill a hole in the middle and use a hole-bit to make 8 recessed-holes around the sides:



cut 80 rings from a standard waste-pipe with my scrollsaw:



realise that they are all fecking shoite because none of them are even remotely "square" - they are all cut at an angle - throw them all in the bin and swear a lot...

turn shed upside down and find my proper pipe-cutter - and cut out 80 more - properly this time:

then hot-glue them into the recessed-holes - also recess the centre hole to make it look proper professional

(hot glue guns are ACE!)



insert tapered candles, sand off the edges and screw the whole assembly onto a post:



hey presto - 10 DIY candle holders ready to be screwed to the pews tomorrow morning!

[Lord Kangana]

Why didn't you just use those electronic candles?

[thebish]

Why didn't you just use those electronic candles?

you mean those horrid fake tealights that run on batteries?

[Lord Kangana]

The JML ones all over the tellybox at the moment. Realistic flicker and everything. You could have been in the pub instead of in the shed.

[thebish]

The JML ones all over the tellybox at the moment. Realistic flicker and everything. You could have been in the pub instead of in the shed.

my arse!

1. they don't give much light
2. a lot more expensive
3. they're shoite
4. real candles are much better
5. I'm not setting up a fantastic winter-wonderland for kiddies in Milton Keynes

[Lord Kangana]

Still would have saved you a day of your life.

[thebish]

Still would have saved you a day of your life.

no it wouldn't. had I not been in the shed, the missus would have found summat that needed doing in the house...

also - those JML candles are shoite! (dunno if I mentioned that!)

[Worthy4England]

Still would have saved you a day of your life.

I'm sure there's an iPhone candle app. There's ond for Android. Sorted.

[thebish]

Still would have saved you a day of your life.

I'm sure there's an iPhone candle app. There's ond for Android. Sorted.

that would involve owning an iphone and thus being a dick!

[mummywhycantieatcrayons]

Ha! Struggling to think of an innocent explanation. Moustache aficionado?

I really don't think he had any fascist sympathies - he was a nerdy obsessive about whatever he was looking at and I know there are similar cutting elsewhere on other topics... these were just particularly amusing.

[Worthy4England]

Still would have saved you a day of your life.

I'm sure there's an iPhone candle app. There's ond for Android. Sorted.

that would involve owning an iphone and thus being a dick!

Or an Android and not.

The Church needs to modernise.

[thebish]

Still would have saved you a day of your life.

I'm sure there's an iPhone candle app. There's ond for Android. Sorted.

that would involve owning an iphone and thus being a dick!

Or an Android and not.

The Church needs to modernise.

pah - marvel and poke away at your little screen! I'll be lighting 80 real candles - and it will be ace!

[bobo the clown]

Still would have saved you a day of your life.

I'm sure there's an iPhone candle app. There's ond for Android. Sorted.

that would involve owning an iphone and thus being a dick!

Or an Android and not.

The Church needs to modernise.

pah - marvel and poke away at your little screen! I'll be lighting 80 real candles - and it will be ace!

Hardly the power of a million candles though, is it ??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt8aAy_8Ub4" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[thebish]

^ shame he's now given up the stand-up...

[Annoyed Grunt]

^ shame he's now given up the stand-up...

Has he?

[thebish]

^ shame he's now given up the stand-up...

Has he?

aye - saw it announced a while back... I think he's on too many tv shows and stuff to be arsed with it...

shame - cos he was a cracking exponent of the art of ranting!

[Annoyed Grunt]

^ shame he's now given up the stand-up...

Has he?

aye - saw it announced a while back... I think he's on too many tv shows and stuff to be arsed with it...

shame - cos he was a cracking exponent of the art of ranting!

Bugger!

Seen him once, about 3 years ago......a little bit drunk, but went off on a tangent with a fantastic rant about letting kids come to watch his show......

[thebish]

^ shame he's now given up the stand-up...

Has he?

here you go... I knew I'd seen it somewhere..

http://www.theguardian.com/stage/2013/o ... dup-comedy