Today I'm neither Angry nor Happy about....

[KeyserSoze]

Judging from his posts and think he craves the attention of social media's masses more than I do.

[Bijou Bob]

Mrs BP called into Morrison's at Harwood after work yesterday. After picking me up and then driving home, she felt it necessary to check her till receipt. Proclaiming loudly, 'I knew that they had over charged me' she explained that she had been charged for 51 cucumbers at 51p each.

Firstly, how on earth do you not realise that you have been over charged by almost £25 when buying a few bits and pieces. Secondly, how the feck do you manage to scan something that wasn't even in the trolley and then proceed to charge for 51 of the feck??

They gave her a full refund, but for sheer feck all round, that really is impressive!

51 cucumbers?? That's gotta make you feel a tad inadequate. You ok hun ?? Inbox me.

[Worthy4England]

I hope its because you're using twitter.

[KeyserSoze]

[TANGODANCER]

Just baffled by this: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-le ... e-32014296" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Why? I wouldn't bother turning out if the queen was passing down our road.


And tell those chappies to take their hats off inside the cathedral. It's a church, not a football match.

[LeverEnd]

http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/118 ... n_Horwich/

Had to wait behind a police cordon to get permission to go home. Heard the words 'nail' and 'explosion' and thought it was worse than it was.

[LeverEnd]

Managed to reschedule my friday manicure so all is well with the world again.

[bobo the clown]

http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/118 ... n_Horwich/

Had to wait behind a police cordon to get permission to go home. Heard the words 'nail' and 'explosion' and thought it was worse than it was.

They should never have barred me from the place.

mmmehh, heh-heh-heh.

[Prufrock]

"Police confirmed that a number of surrounding properties were evacuated as a precaution.

Becky Sharpe at neighbouring Calista Nail and Beauty Salon was painting the nails of regular customer Sue French when the explosion happened.

The pair were forced to delay the job by two-and-a-half hours, with Mrs French held in celebrating her husband's birthday."

[Burnden Paddock]

http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/118 ... n_Horwich/

Had to wait behind a police cordon to get permission to go home. Heard the words 'nail' and 'explosion' and thought it was worse than it was.

Any truth in the rumour that your home brew is being damped down by the fire brigade as a precaution?

[Burnden Paddock]

http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/118 ... n_Horwich/

Had to wait behind a police cordon to get permission to go home. Heard the words 'nail' and 'explosion' and thought it was worse than it was.

They should never have barred me from the place.

mmmehh, heh-heh-heh.

[TANGODANCER]

^ Expect a rash of compensation claims for lost business.

[LeverEnd]

Apparently it was caused by a leaking aerosol. I presume that's spelt right.

A mate did text to ask if I'd been lighting my farts again, but my homebrew is blameless.

[thebish]

singed pubes... the definitive aroma of teenage boy-fart-lighting-triumph!

[Bijou Bob]

In yet another staggering display of ineptitude at work............................

A colleague went down to reception this morning to check that the defibrillator was in place and in working order. Cue conversation with receptionist:

Coll: I've just come to check the defibrillator

Recep: What? It's not for staff use, only for patients

Coll: Er, so if one of your colleagues collapses and is dying..............

Recep: We've been told its for patient use only, sorry.

Coll: Well wouldn't a dying colleague become a patient................

Recep: You'll have to ask my manager

You really couldn't make it up.

[Bruce Rioja]

John Barnes is claiming that the only reason he can't get another job in football management is due to the colour of his skin.

Oh, nothing to do with you being absolutely fecking shit at it then?

[bobo the clown]

John Barnes is claiming that the only reason he can't get another job in football management is due to the colour of his skin.

Oh, nothing to do with you being absolutely fecking shit at it then?

He was (past tense, please note) to football management what Lenny Wanker Henry is to comedy.

All to easy to claim it's for reasons other than ineptitude.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

In yet another staggering display of ineptitude at work............................

A colleague went down to reception this morning to check that the defibrillator was in place and in working order. Cue conversation with receptionist:

Coll: I've just come to check the defibrillator

Recep: What? It's not for staff use, only for patients

Coll: Er, so if one of your colleagues collapses and is dying..............

Recep: We've been told its for patient use only, sorry.

Coll: Well wouldn't a dying colleague become a patient................

Recep: You'll have to ask my manager

You really couldn't make it up.

Really? I can quite easily see that that might have been made up. But then I'm a cynic.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

On another subject entirely, I'm getting a bit pissed off with the tabloid* quote regarding "one of the sun's enduring mysteries"
It's neither enduring nor a mystery. The corona is at higher temperature but has less heat... As certain annoying artificial mammals have it: simples...
* in this case all newspapers.

[Bijou Bob]

Yes Spotty, you are indeed a cynic, but as the use of defibrillators is now on the 'building management committee' agenda for next week, I can assure you its true. What's more, the receptionist in question apparently has a 2:1 in geography from a decent uni. I despair.