Holiday Jolidays!

[General Mannerheim]

Stay out all night in the coolest smartest most tash filled bars ever, Then call in casino in the morning for brekko, eat as much as you want for 99 cents then start playing beerpong while the tourists film you! Then shoot some craps, see a stripper, and have a swim all before lunch - is why I love Vegas!

Stay out all night in the coolest smelliest, dingiest most trash filled bars ever, Then call in casino in the morning for brekko, eat as much as you want for £9 then start playing bingo while the CCTV cameras film you! Then talk some crap, see a beach full of 16 stone strippers, and have a mud bath all before lunch - is why I love Blackpool.

on reflection, i managed to make it sound really shit! oh well.

[hisroyalgingerness]

Allow me.

Wake up and by the pool for 9am where it's already mid-20s and steadily getting hotter. Peak behind shades at bronzed, slim and part-fake Californian hotties and click your fingers at the bikini-clad waitress to ask for a pineapple juice or cocktail.

After a few hours of lazy river and wave pool head back to room for nod then head off for some lunch. Whether it be a jock off burger, a massive £10 buffet or the excellent Mexican eateries.

Next wander up the strip and mooch into one hotel to see a one of a kind $3m glass ornament ceiling, watch a fountain show and then across the road to see an animal exhibit in the next. Throw some chips at a table, maybe win some, who cares. Laugh at Elvis impersonators, ignore hooker touts but take a sneaky peak at the cards they're dishing out.

Scrub up, get some tea at either a Michelin-starred joint with the likes of Wolfgang Puck or Joel Rubichon or one of the scores of amazing "casual restaurants" which still utterly piss on anything you can find in Bolton and possibly Manchester - for example Aureole at Mandalay Bay with a 4-story wine tower with "wine angels" floating down (on wires) to collect your chosen wine.

Head to a show - maybe a Cirque de Soleil, a legend like errr Cher or a show like the Lion King, hit one of the hotels 10 bars which again piss over anything to be found in Manchester for size, audacity and the sheer number of beautiful people. When bored head to the 64th floor to toast the strip and take a leak at a urinal where you face the glass and gaze over the strip whilst you relieve yourself.

[Aldridge Pryor]

Im off on that Virgin Galactic flight next tuesday.

[General Mannerheim]

Allow me.

Wake up and by the pool for 9am where it's already mid-20s and steadily getting hotter. Peak behind shades at bronzed, slim and part-fake Californian hotties and click your fingers at the bikini-clad waitress to ask for a pineapple juice or cocktail.

After a few hours of lazy river and wave pool head back to room for nod then head off for some lunch. Whether it be a jock off burger, a massive £10 buffet or the excellent Mexican eateries.

Next wander up the strip and mooch into one hotel to see a one of a kind $3m glass ornament ceiling, watch a fountain show and then across the road to see an animal exhibit in the next. Throw some chips at a table, maybe win some, who cares. Laugh at Elvis impersonators, ignore hooker touts but take a sneaky peak at the cards they're dishing out.

Scrub up, get some tea at either a Michelin-starred joint with the likes of Wolfgang Puck or Joel Rubichon or one of the scores of amazing "casual restaurants" which still utterly piss on anything you can find in Bolton and possibly Manchester - for example Aureole at Mandalay Bay with a 4-story wine tower with "wine angels" floating down (on wires) to collect your chosen wine.

Head to a show - maybe a Cirque de Soleil, a legend like errr Cher or a show like the Lion King, hit one of the hotels 10 bars which again piss over anything to be found in Manchester for size, audacity and the sheer number of beautiful people. When bored head to the 64th floor to toast the strip and take a leak at a urinal where you face the glass and gaze over the strip whilst you relieve yourself.

yeah, and then to the strip joint where talented young Jenna Jamesons can remove rolled dollar bills from your mouth with their bumcheeks!

[Gary the Enfield]

Allow me.

Wake up and by the pool for 9am where it's already mid-20s and steadily getting hotter. Peak behind shades at bronzed, slim and part-fake Californian hotties and click your fingers at the bikini-clad waitress to ask for a pineapple juice or cocktail.

After a few hours of lazy river and wave pool head back to room for nod then head off for some lunch. Whether it be a jock off burger, a massive £10 buffet or the excellent Mexican eateries.

Next wander up the strip and mooch into one hotel to see a one of a kind $3m glass ornament ceiling, watch a fountain show and then across the road to see an animal exhibit in the next. Throw some chips at a table, maybe win some, who cares. Laugh at Elvis impersonators, ignore hooker touts but take a sneaky peak at the cards they're dishing out.

Scrub up, get some tea at either a Michelin-starred joint with the likes of Wolfgang Puck or Joel Rubichon or one of the scores of amazing "casual restaurants" which still utterly piss on anything you can find in Bolton and possibly Manchester - for example Aureole at Mandalay Bay with a 4-story wine tower with "wine angels" floating down (on wires) to collect your chosen wine.

Head to a show - maybe a Cirque de Soleil, a legend like errr Cher or a show like the Lion King, hit one of the hotels 10 bars which again piss over anything to be found in Manchester for size, audacity and the sheer number of beautiful people. When bored head to the 64th floor to toast the strip and take a leak at a urinal where you face the glass and gaze over the strip whilst you relieve yourself.

yeah, and then to the strip joint where talented young Jenna Jamesons can remove rolled dollar bills from your mouth with their bumcheeks!

That must be a bit pongy stood in line at the bank!

[Bruce Rioja]

Allow me.

Wake up and by the pool for 9am where it's already mid-20s and steadily getting hotter. Peak behind shades at bronzed, slim and part-fake Californian hotties and click your fingers at the bikini-clad waitress to ask for a pineapple juice or cocktail.

After a few hours of lazy river and wave pool head back to room for nod then head off for some lunch. Whether it be a jock off burger, a massive £10 buffet or the excellent Mexican eateries.

Next wander up the strip and mooch into one hotel to see a one of a kind $3m glass ornament ceiling, watch a fountain show and then across the road to see an animal exhibit in the next. Throw some chips at a table, maybe win some, who cares. Laugh at Elvis impersonators, ignore hooker touts but take a sneaky peak at the cards they're dishing out.

Scrub up, get some tea at either a Michelin-starred joint with the likes of Wolfgang Puck or Joel Rubichon or one of the scores of amazing "casual restaurants" which still utterly piss on anything you can find in Bolton and possibly Manchester - for example Aureole at Mandalay Bay with a 4-story wine tower with "wine angels" floating down (on wires) to collect your chosen wine.

Head to a show - maybe a Cirque de Soleil, a legend like errr Cher or a show like the Lion King, hit one of the hotels 10 bars which again piss over anything to be found in Manchester for size, audacity and the sheer number of beautiful people. When bored head to the 64th floor to toast the strip and take a leak at a urinal where you face the glass and gaze over the strip whilst you relieve yourself.

Well that's one day taken care of. You're fecked after that though.

[General Mannerheim]

Then you get up and do it all again!

You’ve also got your shopping day, your golf day, shooting day, Grand Canyon day, Roller Coaster day, lazy poolside day, Pool party day, and the first day where you sit at the blackjack table all day day!

But I would honestly never get bored just wandering up and down the strip every day.

[thebish]

Then you get up and do it all again!

You’ve also got your shopping day, your golf day, shooting day, Grand Canyon day, Roller Coaster day, lazy poolside day, Pool party day, and the first day where you sit at the blackjack table all day day!

But I would honestly never get bored just wandering up and down the strip every day.

asking if anyone's got a dime for a cup of corfeeee....