Today I'm angry about.....

[CrazyHorse]

The phantom milk thief at work cleaning me out.
Again.

Oooh, you are going to catch this geezer one day. What are you going to do when you do Hoss ?

There's loads of hairy arsed contractors working here so I think it's a couple of them, and given they're all built like gorillas I'd probably just drop a sarky comment, shit myself and scurry away.

[CrazyHorse]

CrazyHorse: Magpies? Milkmen are a dead breed who were consigned to history many years ago where I live. When I did have a milkman it didn't take long for the magpies to work out how to get to the cream; a quick stab of the beak was sufficient to penetrate the foil covering of the bottles. How they learned that there was a treat inside I have no idea. In fact I was surprised that a bird would be interested in milk in the first place. The solution was to drop a beaker over the neck of each bottle. Mr Milkman was kind enough to do so if we left out the beakers with the empties. It also meant no more note writing. The order was the number of beakers.

I don't think it's the magpies, not unless they know how to open a fridge.

[Wandering Willy]

It's not magpies.

[bobo the clown]

The phantom milk thief at work cleaning me out.
Again.

Oooh, you are going to catch this geezer one day. What are you going to do when you do Hoss ?

There's loads of hairy arsed contractors working here so I think it's a couple of them, and given they're all built like gorillas I'd probably just drop a sarky comment, shit myself and scurry away.

Bravo !!

[Bruce Rioja]

My car won't go above 2,000 rpm. Apparently I've buggered something up!

[bobo the clown]

My car won't go above 2,000 rpm. Apparently I've buggered something up!

Ooooh. A broken rpm. Nasty.




Actually had this sympton a few years ago & it was the turbo manifold. All the way from Dover to home never over 40mph & trying my damdest not to stop as starting from scratch was like starting in 5th gear.

[thebish]

My car won't go above 2,000 rpm. Apparently I've buggered something up!

sounds like a fuel-pump issue or a blocked/knackered catalytic converter (haven't you had CAT problems before with your plumes of smoke??)

(also - make sure nobody has shoved a potato up your exhaust!)

[bedwetter2]

My car won't go above 2,000 rpm. Apparently I've buggered something up!

sounds like a fuel-pump issue or a blocked/knackered catalytic converter (haven't you had CAT problems before with your plumes of smoke??)

(also - make sure nobody has shoved a potato up your exhaust!)

Is that some form of euphemism?

[Worthy4England]

My car won't go above 2,000 rpm. Apparently I've buggered something up!

Sounds like the grandad delimiter has kicked in.

[TANGODANCER]

The phantom milk thief at work cleaning me out. Again.

Had the same problem a few years ago. Despite the firm providing extra milk to help out we always ran out during the day. It was the porridge eaters....As soon as free milk appeared on the scene, despite an office full of well paid staff, abuse occurred. They even nicked each others biscuits and food from cupboards and fridges. The fridge became so full of half-eaten items I had to send caustic, all-staff e-mails round , particularly at Bank Holiday times, ie "Please remove any items of scientific experiments, fungus growths or attempts at cheese production etc from the fridge by mid-day tomorrow. Anything not removed will go in the bins" etc.

[Bruce Rioja]

My car won't go above 2,000 rpm. Apparently I've buggered something up!

sounds like a fuel-pump issue or a blocked/knackered catalytic converter (haven't you had CAT problems before with your plumes of smoke??)

(also - make sure nobody has shoved a potato up your exhaust!)

Can't remember if last time it was the CAT or the turbo. It goes into this 'mode' whereby you can't take it above 2000 revs when you've broke something. Definitely no spuddage though

UPDATE: A light's come on now to reveal that I apparently have a 'Fault in the Diesel Particulate Filter' WTFF?

[Bruce Rioja]

My car won't go above 2,000 rpm. Apparently I've buggered something up!

Sounds like the grandad delimiter has kicked in.

Shut it, Grey-head!

[Gary the Enfield]

My car won't go above 2,000 rpm. Apparently I've buggered something up!

sounds like a fuel-pump issue or a blocked/knackered catalytic converter (haven't you had CAT problems before with your plumes of smoke??)

(also - make sure nobody has shoved a potato up your exhaust!)

Can't remember if last time it was the CAT or the turbo. It goes into this 'mode' whereby you can't take it above 2000 revs when you've broke something. Definitely no spuddage though

UPDATE: A light's come on now to reveal that I apparently have a 'Fault in the Diesel Particulate Filter' WTFF?

Same thing happened to me a few month's back. Had to limp it down from Worksop to London in 'Safe Home' mode.

You've got shit in your pipes, son. Have you let the fuel run down too low?

[Bruce Rioja]

You've got shit in your pipes, son. Have you let the fuel run down too low?

Must confess, I squeeze as much as I possibly can in and then only refill when I absolutely have to - will that be it then?

[ohjimmyjimmy]

Might be your fluffel valve?

[Bruce Rioja]

Might be your fluffel valve?

Well initially I suspected the Keighley Trunnion.

[ohjimmyjimmy]

That's assuming the Johnson Rod isn't fouling on the Crankshaft!

Get it to Gradwells, if in doubt.

[Gary the Enfield]

You've got shit in your pipes, son. Have you let the fuel run down too low?

Must confess, I squeeze as much as I possibly can in and then only refill when I absolutely have to - will that be it then?

Could well be. Bugger probably just needs rinsing out. Problem is they usually say they have to dismantle half the engine to get to it. Is it your own car? If so it may be worth calling the AA/ RAC (other breakdown services are available) and getting them to put their expertise to use.

[Hoboh]

If you have the radio code, disconect the car battery for 5 mins reconect and leave a few mins longer this will clear the ECU fault code and allow free reving. Only do this if you are certain there is no major problem. I have found letting fuel run low then filling up kicks in a throttle sensor fault from time to time on my motor.

[Gooner Girl]

My car won't go above 2,000 rpm. Apparently I've buggered something up!

Sounds like the grandad delimiter has kicked in.