Give an inch ... & take a mile (RANT)

[bobo the clown]

Some while ago I went into Sainsbury's & looked to buy a Pound (lb) of bacon & the snotty bitch serving me said "that'll be 450gms sir".

My response ... well, it was my second option ... the first was to put her hands into the electric slicer & take her stubby little fingers off ... was to reply "I tell you what love, I'll ask for it in pounds, you serve it to me in whatever weight you wish".

"Don't call me 'love' " she replied. My response to that was " ... look, let's cut the conversation out altogether ... just give me ... oh (I placed thumb & forefinger about 2 inches [I've no idea, so don't even ask] apart) ... about THAT much bacon. I don't think we need to speak any further".

The oft foolishly said gift of a reply came back "I've never been so insulted". I didn't disappoint "you MUST have been !!" said I, witholding the additional "you ugly little runt".

Thus was displayed one small, brief, pointless little attempt to remain what I am ... British, awkward & proud of it.

Go on, seriously ... on a hot day do you honestly say "phew, what a scorcher ... must be at least 21 degrees !!" ? Bllx you do. Do you say, when asked your height "Oh, I'm 1m 86cm". Like fck you do. How far apart are goalposts ? ... 8 YARDS !!! How far out is a penalty spot ? 12 YARDS. The 6 YARD box, the 18 YARD line. Where's the metric version of that ?

Well, after 30 years of sniping, threatening, picking & pulling at that great tradition of imperial weights & measures they've finally given up, thrown in the towel, run for cover, bottled it ... shat out. There HAVE to be some French & Italians involved in the decision to surrender.

People were actually jailed for this. Jailed due to sycophanctic, apparatchik, jobsworths who glory in just that little bit of power.

The pound, ounce, inch, foot, yard, bushel, peck, grain, mile, fathom, furlong etc., etc., etc can now stay. Wave your Silvine excercise books in celebration.

They'll have to be used alongside the foreign alien measurements. That's fine ... they can be there ... I can ignore them. I live in Wales for God's sake ... I've a degree in ignoring 50% of official signage. It's easy.

You know, now they've dropped the campaign to rid us of our heritage ... I may just take a look at the metric options.

They only had to ask !

[enfieldwhite]

A chain, the length of a wicket. Stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it, Johnny Foreigner.

Now, maybe we can drive on the RIGHT side of the road when we visit your countries!

[cowdrill]

how come its only our country out of the whole of the EU that kicks up a fuss?


just a thought

[bobby5]

how come its only our country out of the whole of the EU that kicks up a fuss?


just a thought

A valid thought aswell. I must say, I'm a Kg and Km man myself. Can't be doing with all these fathoms, spans and furlongs.

[Pete]

how come its only our country out of the whole of the EU that kicks up a fuss?


just a thought

Because we're the only ones who use ridiculous measures. Although, saying that, a pint is most definitely better than a half litre.

[mummywhycantieatcrayons]

Yes, it's interesting that the Fourth Reich have yielded on this one. It's sad that one of the original metric martyrs, Mr Thoburn, isn't around to witness this rare victory against the bureaucrats.

Anyway, I'd better make myself scarce before I'm accused of being right wing again...

[cowdrill]

most of the people who cause a problem are market traders and grocers etc that refuse to have scales showing both the metric weight and the ....other weights ( )


thats all theyve been told to do by the government but they just give it the old "IM NOT BEING PUSHED AROUND BY THESE BLOODY FOREIGNERS! MY DAD DIDNT FIGHT IN THE TRENCHES SO THAT BLAH ......."

[communistworkethic]

all well and good but I bet when it's hot you use Farenheit, but when it's cold you use celsius

[TANGODANCER]

Come on Bobo (chance for a good rant here) , you know we must do what our continental cousins say. Britain has no unique identity now. Apart from the measures: our flag is controversial, we can't say Christmas anymore, ornamental crucifixes offend er "others", no more Irish, gay (or other) jokes, our sausages and cucumbers have to fit through templates and we have no English in corner shops, chipshops or taxis firms. Light bulbs last half-an-hour and washing machines, fridges and cookers are programmed to pack up the day after the warranty runs out. Telephone calls used to be things of privacy (remember huddling in those "space-helmet" things and whispering?), now everybody shouts their business out loud into mobiles on the 8-0 train to Manchester and points NSEW.

Oh, and writing. Remember when we had no pc's and notebooks and pens existed
for purposes other than writing someone's mobile number on your hand? Now, it's type, file, print and away you go.

Men have no refuges anymore, clubs, sports, societies etc, and wear skin creme and shave their legs. On top of that if "celebrities" like Jane Goody or Posh Beckham walk about looking like a bag of shxt half the country follows suit like sheep (rainbow of course). Can you imagine anyone from our generation walking about in fxxxxxg "Burberry" You can't let your dogs off the lead in parks and er, oh yes, no smoking inside chaps. (had to get that one in)

Great place our home country now, all in the name of progress. Wonder how it got that way? Bring back 1950, coal fires, fog and all. Yeah....

[mummywhycantieatcrayons]

how come its only our country out of the whole of the EU that kicks up a fuss?


just a thought

Because we're the only ones who use ridiculous measures. Although, saying that, a pint is most definitely better than a half litre.

how come its only our country out of the whole of the EU that kicks up a fuss?


just a thought

A valid thought aswell. I must say, I'm a Kg and Km man myself. Can't be doing with all these fathoms, spans and furlongs.

I would actually say "21 degrees" too, but the point Bobo (amongst many others) makes is that it these things shouldn't be imposed on us from above by unelected foreignors!

[InsaneApache]

By unelected foreigners, I trust you refer to Gordon 'gottapickapocketortwo' Brown?

[enfieldwhite]

Just a thought.

Our cousins across the pond use imperial measurements too.

Maybe, like the Kyoto agreement, they refuse to accept metric(ity?) and so we have argued precedent?

They are, after all, oppressing our human rights.

[Nozza]

Mr Thoburn, and his family, are c-un-ts.

[mummywhycantieatcrayons]

Mr Thoburn, and his family, are c-un-ts.

Well, as I say - he died a while back, I think.

Why, what do you know of them? I suppose they were big news up in Sunderland?

[bobo the clown]

Mr Thoburn, and his family, are c-un-ts.

Yes, but they're BRITISH c-un-ts. Every last centimetre of them !!

[cowdrill]

hehe!

[Nozza]

Mr Thoburn, and his family, are c-un-ts.

Well, as I say - he died a while back, I think.

Why, what do you know of them? I suppose they were big news up in Sunderland?

He did, Mr Metric Martyr did die (heart attack) so perhaps me calling him the naughty C word was not very nice of me.

His family milk the publicity now, and still sell in LB's despite being taken to court countless times.

His brother is now setting up a big campaign to "shop" Sunderland Council for "illegally" administering parking tickets. Despite the fact Sunderland Council admitted they made a mistake, and reimbursed something like £300,000 in illegal parking fines and publically apologised to all concerned.

What started off as a simple enough cause has turned into the Thoburns splashing their face across the Sunderland Echo (local rag) at every possible opportunity.

Mind, Mr Thoburn has been given a post humous (sp) pardon by the EU. Which should mean we will see less of them, doubt it though.

Now there is a family that will take a mile if you give them an inch.

[Henrik's fan club]

on a hot day do you honestly say "phew, what a scorcher ... must be at least 21 degrees !!"

I always use degrees centigrade....I honestly wouldn't know the temperature in fahrenheit

[Dujon]

Get over it, Bobo.

Unless you are lacking some cells between your hammers and anvils - and your general postings indicate that you don't - it takes little time to convert your full complement to the new systems. History and tradition is great and things such as £sd were quite obviously designed to exercise the minds of youngsters. Perhaps we can still teach such a mish-mash of systems to our children so that we can laugh at them (a bit like teaching Latin). We use the decimal system in counting; we are even clever enough to recognise zero as a reference point.

4 farthings or two half-pennies to a penny; 12 pennies to a shilling; 2 shillings to a florin; 25 pennies to a half-crown; 50 pennies to a crown; 20 shillings to a pound; 21 shillings to a guinea. No wonder people look strangely at us - and that's only our currency. Inches, feet, yards, rods, perches, roods, acres, furlongs, chains - sheesh! 5280 feet (each of 12 inches) to a mile or, alternatively, 1760 yards. There's no real sense in all those 'historical' measurements. 16 ounces to a pound? Then there's the hundredweight (which is 112 lb). ? . At least the Americans had the sense to have 100 lb to a hundredweight. They then stuffed that up by having 2000 lb to a ton (the short ton). Then we have the displacement ton (35 cubic feet of salt water) and the ton which refers to the internal capacity of ships - I can't recall its name, if it's got one - which refers to 100 cubic feet.

What a shemozzle.

Standard metric for me (if you hadn't already gathered).

[mummywhycantieatcrayons]

Get over it, Bobo.

Unless you are lacking some cells between your hammers and anvils - and your general postings indicate that you don't - it takes little time to convert your full complement to the new systems. History and tradition is great and things such as £sd were quite obviously designed to exercise the minds of youngsters. Perhaps we can still teach such a mish-mash of systems to our children so that we can laugh at them (a bit like teaching Latin). We use the decimal system in counting; we are even clever enough to recognise zero as a reference point.

4 farthings or two half-pennies to a penny; 12 pennies to a shilling; 2 shillings to a florin; 25 pennies to a half-crown; 50 pennies to a crown; 20 shillings to a pound; 21 shillings to a guinea. No wonder people look strangely at us - and that's only our currency. Inches, feet, yards, rods, perches, roods, acres, furlongs, chains - sheesh! 5280 feet (each of 12 inches) to a mile or, alternatively, 1760 yards. There's no real sense in all those 'historical' measurements. 16 ounces to a pound? Then there's the hundredweight (which is 112 lb). ? . At least the Americans had the sense to have 100 lb to a hundredweight. They then stuffed that up by having 2000 lb to a ton (the short ton). Then we have the displacement ton (35 cubic feet of salt water) and the ton which refers to the internal capacity of ships - I can't recall its name, if it's got one - which refers to 100 cubic feet.

What a shemozzle.

Standard metric for me (if you hadn't already gathered).

Again, I'd hate to put words in Bobo's mouth, Dujon, but I'd say that he would happily review the case for using metric measurements on the utilitarian basis you suggest, but is rather less happy to see the system imposed from above (or abroad) by unelected Brussels administrators....

Your perspective on Bobo's plight might be affected by living in a country that still has a sovereign parliament!