Commie for Mayor of London

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 8:49 pm

which is why I'm running for office and you're chasing orifice.

enfieldwhite · Post by **enfieldwhite** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:03 pm

This is rapidly becoming the new 'Knight Nat' campaign.

Can we get one of them petition to No.10 thingies going?

If we combine it with the 'How Scottish are you thread' it would at least get under Brown's nose!

CAPSLOCK · Post by **CAPSLOCK** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:05 pm

communistworkethic wrote:which is why I'm running for office and you're chasing orifice.

Dave Sutton's barnet · Post by **Dave Sutton's barnet** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:12 pm

communistworkethic wrote:VAT will be removed from biscuits

Keep talkin' guv'nor

I'm listenin'

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:32 pm

Snickers will be returned to their proper name - marathon

All chocolate bars will be returned to the size they were when we were kids, not the shrunken versions peddled now.

The words bap, teacake, roll and breadcake are to be banned when referring to what is clearly a barmcake.

Chippies must serve gravy, and not that watery shite they try and pass off as gravy.

Old people who smell of wee will be given free soap and deodorant, this will also be available to special needs cases such as Mich Upton.

Michael Barrymore and Bobby Davro will never appear on TV again.

No more reality auditioning shows will be permitted to be commission and all those responsible for DanceX will be forced to walk barefoot over razor blades while chewing glass and juggling chainsaws.

Jodie Marsh, Ruby Wax, Victoria Beckham and Pete Doherty will be illegal.

Any "singer" who is actually just talking really - the streets, just jack, lily allen and that annoying cockney bird, will be made to perform for free for 30 hours per week to te residents of Broadmoor.

Worthy4England · Post by **Worthy4England** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:35 pm

Dave Sutton's barnet wrote:
communistworkethic wrote:VAT will be removed from biscuits
Keep talkin' guv'nor

I'm listenin'

Hmmm think this might need some work - not sure I'd want to remove VAT from posh biscuits eaten by posh people. There are proper biscuits like Digestives that should be VAT free, but I'm not so sure about Fox's "Big Softies"....

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:46 pm

whoah, you're jumping ahead there W4E!

Do you think that I'd be so silly as to give a taxt break like that to the undeserving without balancing it elsewhere? Oh no....

100% tax on tea that has it's own name , like "earl grey" or "lapsansuchong"

200% tax on doilies and cake stands

cutting sandwiches in to triangular quarters and removing the crusts is to be banned

Worthy4England · Post by **Worthy4England** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:00 pm

communistworkethic wrote:Snickers will be returned to their proper name - marathon

All chocolate bars will be returned to the size they were when we were kids, not the shrunken versions peddled now.

The words bap, teacake, roll and breadcake are to be banned when referring to what is clearly a barmcake.

Chippies must serve gravy, and not that watery shite they try and pass off as gravy.

Old people who smell of wee will be given free soap and deodorant, this will also be available to special needs cases such as Mich Upton.

Michael Barrymore and Bobby Davro will never appear on TV again.

No more reality auditioning shows will be permitted to be commission and all those responsible for DanceX will be forced to walk barefoot over razor blades while chewing glass and juggling chainsaws.

Jodie Marsh, Ruby Wax, Victoria Beckham and Pete Doherty will be illegal.

Any "singer" who is actually just talking really - the streets, just jack, lily allen and that annoying cockney bird, will be made to perform for free for 30 hours per week to te residents of Broadmoor.

Mighty impressed mate - coupla points...

Don't stop at Snickers - please do Starburst as well.

Barmcakes is a sure-fire winner

As well as gravy chippies need to do mushy peas and "pay-wet" barms

Please add Jordan and that tosser she's married to onto the banned list

No more reality auditioning shows will be permitted to be commission and all those responsible for DanceX will be forced to walk barefoot over razor blades while chewing glass and juggling chainsaws. maybe you could put this one on air as the "Last reality show on British TV"

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:12 pm

look like reasonable suggestions to me, consider them done

Worthy4England · Post by **Worthy4England** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 11:03 pm

communistworkethic wrote:look like reasonable suggestions to me, consider them done

In that case, you get my vote

Daxter · Post by **Daxter** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 11:08 pm

Worthy4England wrote:
communistworkethic wrote:look like reasonable suggestions to me, consider them done
In that case, you get my vote

Tremendous!

superjohnmcginlay · Post by **superjohnmcginlay** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:20 am

communistworkethic wrote:Snickers will be returned to their proper name - marathon

All chocolate bars will be returned to the size they were when we were kids, not the shrunken versions peddled now.

The words bap, teacake, roll and breadcake are to be banned when referring to what is clearly a barmcake.

Chippies must serve gravy, and not that watery shite they try and pass off as gravy.

Old people who smell of wee will be given free soap and deodorant, this will also be available to special needs cases such as Mich Upton.

Michael Barrymore and Bobby Davro will never appear on TV again.

No more reality auditioning shows will be permitted to be commission and all those responsible for DanceX will be forced to walk barefoot over razor blades while chewing glass and juggling chainsaws.

Jodie Marsh, Ruby Wax, Victoria Beckham and Pete Doherty will be illegal.

Any "singer" who is actually just talking really - the streets, just jack, lily allen and that annoying cockney bird, will be made to perform for free for 30 hours per week to te residents of Broadmoor.

WOoah hang on there only you lot call 'em fookin barmcakes. I want that offending item removed from the manifesto.

Worthy4England · Post by **Worthy4England** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:24 am

superjohnmcginlay wrote:
communistworkethic wrote:Snickers will be returned to their proper name - marathon

All chocolate bars will be returned to the size they were when we were kids, not the shrunken versions peddled now.

The words bap, teacake, roll and breadcake are to be banned when referring to what is clearly a barmcake.

Chippies must serve gravy, and not that watery shite they try and pass off as gravy.

Old people who smell of wee will be given free soap and deodorant, this will also be available to special needs cases such as Mich Upton.

Michael Barrymore and Bobby Davro will never appear on TV again.

No more reality auditioning shows will be permitted to be commission and all those responsible for DanceX will be forced to walk barefoot over razor blades while chewing glass and juggling chainsaws.

Jodie Marsh, Ruby Wax, Victoria Beckham and Pete Doherty will be illegal.

Any "singer" who is actually just talking really - the streets, just jack, lily allen and that annoying cockney bird, will be made to perform for free for 30 hours per week to te residents of Broadmoor.
WOoah hang on there only you lot call 'em fookin barmcakes. I want that offending item removed from the manifesto.

Nooooo - a bap is something laydee's have two of, a teacake has currants in it, a roll is a long thin piece of bread and not something that's bin lid shaped and a breadcake has just been made up by someone with too much time on their hands and no intelligence. Barmcake every time please!

Gertie · Post by **Gertie** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:25 am

I'm with the Super John, I've not ever called them barmcakes in my life. They're bread rolls. Cakes have cream and jam in them.

(I've lived in Bolton for most of my life what happened to my upbringing??)

Can only fit and sexy guys be made to work on building projects in the summer wearing tight white vests which they later remove leaving them smooth and bare chested.

thanks

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:33 am

sorry Gertie, I'm all for "inclusion" but I have to draw the line at crackpot ideas like those.

Obviously, SJM is a puppet of Zionist conspiracy, a trumped up poppinjay whose machinations are less than cromulent.

Abdoulaye's Twin · Post by **Abdoulaye's Twin** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:39 am

might I suggest that pubs that server you a pint at 10.59pm and then start shouting at you to drink up at 11.04pm be made to provide free beer between 10.30pm and 11.15pm for a month until they stop such practice

Spaced · Post by **Spaced** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:44 am

2 suggestions... any one who types in txt language consistently or any one who walks round or sits on a bus/train with their phone playing shite music really loudly has the word tw*t branded on their forehead

superjohnmcginlay · Post by **superjohnmcginlay** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:52 am

communistworkethic wrote:sorry Gertie, I'm all for "inclusion" but I have to draw the line at crackpot ideas like those.

Obviously, SJM is a puppet of Zionist conspiracy, a trumped up poppinjay whose machinations are less than cromulent.

Nah, I was just brought up in Yorkshire.

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:53 am

3 very sensible suggestions again there, happy to put them in.

Spaced · Post by **Spaced** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:55 am

communistworkethic wrote:3 very sensible suggestions again there, happy to put them in.

this manifesto is shaping up nicely...commie for mayor in a landslide victory!

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