Commie for Mayor of London

[Soldier_Of_The_White_Army]

Mayor my arse!!









Commie for Prime Minister!!!!

[Worthy4England]

People permenantly or temporarily domiciled within London Boroughs must always make way for visitors on the Tube.

[Abdoulaye's Twin]

I knew you were the man for the job Commie

All of your manifesto makes perfect sense, however, a small but humble suggestion...

All investment bankers and similar big time charlies may not act like the w**kers they are outside of their offices. Any found being themselves in public will be shot on sight

[Daxter]

How would you deal with the vermin(chavs)?

[Nozza]

Send them to Brighton.

[enfieldwhite]

Send them to Brighton.

Permanently. As the place is already full of them at weekends.

[Dave Sutton's barnet]

Send them to Brighton.

Ah but then Julie Burchill would get all upset about 'outsiders' invading the town she didn't grow up in.

[Daxter]

Send them to Brighton.

Brighton's got enough as it is.

Mind I suppose Sunderland's total hasn't been helped, what with the arrival of Richardson.

[communistworkethic]

Chavs is an issue I would have to deal with once becoming PM.

Chavs predominantly affect Essex, or at least are derived from there. So my suggestion is to isolate the county behind a giant wall topped with electrified razor wire and monitored by armed guards and maneating dobermans.

Then anyone who is a chav will be arrested and transported to Essex for the rest of their natural lives where they will be forced to wear badly fitting fake burbery, eat mcdonalds for every meal, smoke royals and wear a 10lb fake cold chain round their neck and a fake sovereign ring the size of a dinner plate. They will also have "charlie" tattooed across tehir forehead" and be forced to watch "Birds of a feather" for 23 hours a day.

[enfieldwhite]

Chavs is an issue I would have to deal with once becoming PM.

Chavs predominantly affect Essex, or at least are derived from there. So my suggestion is to isolate the county behind a giant wall topped with electrified razor wire and monitored by armed guards and maneating dobermans.

Then anyone who is a chav will be arrested and transported to Essex for the rest of their natural lives where they will be forced to wear badly fitting fake burbery, eat mcdonalds for every meal, smoke royals and wear a 10lb fake cold chain round their neck and a fake sovereign ring the size of a dinner plate. They will also have "charlie" tattooed across tehir forehead" and be forced to watch "Birds of a feather" for 23 hours a day.

''Call me Mr Pliskin''

[Daxter]

Chavs is an issue I would have to deal with once becoming PM.

Chavs predominantly affect Essex, or at least are derived from there. So my suggestion is to isolate the county behind a giant wall topped with electrified razor wire and monitored by armed guards and maneating dobermans.

Then anyone who is a chav will be arrested and transported to Essex for the rest of their natural lives where they will be forced to wear badly fitting fake burbery, eat mcdonalds for every meal, smoke royals and wear a 10lb fake cold chain round their neck and a fake sovereign ring the size of a dinner plate. They will also have "charlie" tattooed across tehir forehead" and be forced to watch "Birds of a feather" for 23 hours a day.

[Little Green Man]

Then anyone who is a chav will be arrested and transported to Essex for the rest of their natural lives where they will be forced to wear badly fitting fake burbery, eat mcdonalds for every meal, smoke royals and wear a 10lb fake cold chain round their neck and a fake sovereign ring the size of a dinner plate.

I don't think you'll have to force them.

While I'm here, do you think you could find space in your manifesto for an minimum depth of head on a pint of bitter/ale/heavy/stout. Nothing less than 7.5mm, please.

[Abdoulaye's Twin]

Then anyone who is a chav will be arrested and transported to Essex for the rest of their natural lives where they will be forced to wear badly fitting fake burbery, eat mcdonalds for every meal, smoke royals and wear a 10lb fake cold chain round their neck and a fake sovereign ring the size of a dinner plate.

I don't think you'll have to force them.

While I'm here, do you think you could find space in your manifesto for an minimum depth of head on a pint of bitter/ale/heavy/stout. Nothing less than 7.5mm, please.

and whilst you're at it get some decent beer down here too

[communistworkethic]

Then anyone who is a chav will be arrested and transported to Essex for the rest of their natural lives where they will be forced to wear badly fitting fake burbery, eat mcdonalds for every meal, smoke royals and wear a 10lb fake cold chain round their neck and a fake sovereign ring the size of a dinner plate.

I don't think you'll have to force them.

While I'm here, do you think you could find space in your manifesto for an minimum depth of head on a pint of bitter/ale/heavy/stout. Nothing less than 7.5mm, please.

Presumably you require that in an oversized pint glass so you get you pint and head?

I's ban fullers, greene king and pretty much anyth brewed south of stoke unless it came from an independent brewery and I'd personally checked it.

[Little Green Man]

Then anyone who is a chav will be arrested and transported to Essex for the rest of their natural lives where they will be forced to wear badly fitting fake burbery, eat mcdonalds for every meal, smoke royals and wear a 10lb fake cold chain round their neck and a fake sovereign ring the size of a dinner plate.

I don't think you'll have to force them.

While I'm here, do you think you could find space in your manifesto for an minimum depth of head on a pint of bitter/ale/heavy/stout. Nothing less than 7.5mm, please.

Presumably you require that in an oversized pint glass so you get you pint and head?

I's ban fullers, greene king and pretty much anyth brewed south of stoke unless it came from an independent brewery and I'd personally checked it.

Yes, please. It might also be an idea to ban people who take their own tankards to the pub with them. They could all go in the same bill.

London Pride is actually vaguely drinkable up here - possibly due to the fact that it has more than a couple of fart bubbles on its surface. Mind you, why you'd order that instead of Orkney Dark Island et al., I don't know.

[David Lee's Hair]

I'm moving to London and you have my vote!

[communistworkethic]

Tankards banned, got that one.

Also, pubs must show Bolton matches when they're televised (which all away games will be when I'm elected). During matches all Cockneys must be perfectly quiet unless they are a) serving you beer and or commestibles b) apologising for misjudging Bolton and accepting that they are in fact a very good team and deserving of their position in the top 10 of the prem.

Discussing how much you house's value has gone up since you bought it will be illegal.

Caravans will be banned from the roads. Tractors will only be able to use the roads between 3am and 6am on tuesdays, wednesdays and sundays.

anyone caught driving in lane 2 or 3 of the motorway other than for overtaking, will be taken to the hard shoulder and made to walk along it for one mile with their underpants on their head and a carrot up their jacksie.

kids who hang aroundstreets in gangs will be given a choice, form a football team and play in a local league or be placed in stocks and jabbed with pointy sticks by pensioners.

Burglars will be forced to wipe the arses of really fat people who can't reach their own.

any restaurant which doesn't print its menus in English, i.e. that anyone can understand, shall be shut for one month and display a sign saying "pretentious"

restaurants shall also be banned from charging £25 for a bottle of wine that is £4.99 in Tesco

VAT will be removed from biscuits

Kids will not be allowed to leave school until they can cook spaghetti bolognese, caesar salad, pea and ham soup and chocolate cheesecake from raw ingredients

[cophilie]

Tankards banned, got that one.

Also, pubs must show Bolton matches when they're televised (which all away games will be when I'm elected). During matches all Cockneys must be perfectly quiet unless they are a) serving you beer and or commestibles b) apologising for misjudging Bolton and accepting that they are in fact a very good team and deserving of their position in the top 10 of the prem.

Discussing how much you house's value has gone up since you bought it will be illegal.

Caravans will be banned from the roads. Tractors will only be able to use the roads between 3am and 6am on tuesdays, wednesdays and sundays.

anyone caught driving in lane 2 or 3 of the motorway other than for overtaking, will be taken to the heart shoulder and made to walk along it for one miel with their underpants on their head and a carrot up their jacksie.

kids who hang aroundstreets in gangs will be given a choice, form a football team and play in a local league or be placed in stocks and jabbed with pointy sticks by pensioners.

Burglars will be forced to wipe the arses of really fat people who can't reach their own.

any restaurant which doesn't print its menus in English, i.e. that anyone can understand, shall be shut for one month and display a sign saying "pretentious"

restaurants shall also be banned from charging £25 for a bottle of wine that is £4.99 in Tesco

VAT will be removed from biscuits

Kids will not be allowed to leave school until they can cook spaghetti bolognese, caesar salad, pea and ham soup chocolate cheesecake and from raw ingredients

Following on from that how about anyone who says: "You know what,I don't care what people say,I've actually got a lot of time for Bolton,good little team" whilst looking indescribably smug that they've blessed you and your kind should be ceremonially slapped around the head with a wet fish by Lofty?

[communistworkethic]

Hmmm like it, I'll have that too. Never let it be said I'm not prepared to accept suggestions from the common man and there's none more common than cophilie <budumtish>

[CAPSLOCK]

Some cracking policies, but I think we have enough gay men in politics as it is