Things your nan says

General Mannerheim · Post by **General Mannerheim** » Wed May 07, 2008 4:14 pm

Anyone listen to the Russell Brand show on Radio 2? I don’t want a debate on whether he’s a tw@t or not, but they do this feature where people write in with funny tales of what their nan has said, its pretty funny, usually something totally ignorant or stupid, but sometimes an easy mistake, like they had this one nan, who asked her grandson if they could call at a shop on the way home so she could pick up a packet of them durex, 'apparently they're very good'... when actually she meant 'Duracell' for her remote control! They call them Nan-ec-dotes!

So, whats the funniest Nanecdote you've heard you're nan, or any old person say?

enfieldwhite · Post by **enfieldwhite** » Wed May 07, 2008 4:22 pm

My Mum-in-Law (she's quite old and qualifies for Nan status as all my Grandparents died when I was very young) was watching the 'Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert' on TV some years ago and Mettallica were getting seriously down to ' Stone Cold Crazy' when she uttered the now famous (in our household, anyway) "oohh, I do like that Simply Red"

Matty-Sharples · Post by **Matty-Sharples** » Wed May 07, 2008 8:54 pm

'' I wish you wouldn't get your season tickets in that bit near the screen, they are all rowdy!''

Said by my nan after the Madrid home game.

blurred · Post by **blurred** » Wed May 07, 2008 9:44 pm

I find that nans are often good for casual racism that you'd never get away with if you were under the age of 60.

Soldier_Of_The_White_Army · Post by **Soldier_Of_The_White_Army** » Wed May 07, 2008 9:48 pm

blurred wrote:I find that nans are often good for casual racism that you'd never get away with if you were under the age of 60.

Aye, great with a Balti, mind!

jimbo · Post by **jimbo** » Wed May 07, 2008 9:55 pm

My nan likes United. The other day whilst watching the football she said "It won't be fair if Chelsea win the league. They are all animals." My mum (Wanderer) then lost it with her and started on about Evra, sparking another football related fallout between mother and daughter.

How I laughed.

David Lee's Hair · Post by **David Lee's Hair** » Thu May 08, 2008 8:46 am

My gran, bless her cotton socks is coming out with some right pearls at the moment. Mainly due to the cocktail of methadone and ketamin she's on for her cancer, however ones that really stick out fondly are.......

About the lottery. My mum said "I'd be happy winning half a million." my gran replied "Oh, I wouldn't be that greedy, £500k would suit me fine."

Also after a split from an ex, she told me "Don't worry, and keep your pecker up!".

Both I'll add before she started doing a Doherty

General Mannerheim · Post by **General Mannerheim** » Thu May 08, 2008 9:10 am

All round the dinner table when not my nan but my mum wanted to know what 'rimming' was! then beacuse everyone was biting their hands laughing, she got on the phone to my aunt, 'whats rimming? these buggers wont tell me, what is rimming?"

CrazyHorse · Post by **CrazyHorse** » Thu May 08, 2008 10:10 am

General Mannerheim wrote:All round the dinner table when not my nan but my mum wanted to know what 'rimming' was! then beacuse everyone was biting their hands laughing, she got on the phone to my aunt, 'whats rimming? these buggers wont tell me, what is rimming?"

How the hell did the subject of rimming crop up whilst sat round the dinner table?

Worthy4England · Post by **Worthy4England** » Thu May 08, 2008 10:20 am

CrazyHorse wrote:
General Mannerheim wrote:All round the dinner table when not my nan but my mum wanted to know what 'rimming' was! then beacuse everyone was biting their hands laughing, she got on the phone to my aunt, 'whats rimming? these buggers wont tell me, what is rimming?"

How the hell did the subject of rimming crop up whilst sat round the dinner table?

House too near Blackburn?

I had the same thing with "blow-job"......

InsaneApache · Post by **InsaneApache** » Thu May 08, 2008 11:23 am

There's a sauna next to the 'gay' pub in Braford called Rimmers. Always raises a smile from me.

enfieldwhite · Post by **enfieldwhite** » Thu May 08, 2008 12:02 pm

CrazyHorse wrote:
General Mannerheim wrote:All round the dinner table when not my nan but my mum wanted to know what 'rimming' was! then beacuse everyone was biting their hands laughing, she got on the phone to my aunt, 'whats rimming? these buggers wont tell me, what is rimming?"

How the hell did the subject of rimming crop up whilst sat round the dinner table?

Maybe they were discussing who was to eat the 'Parson's Nose'?

boltonboris · Post by **boltonboris** » Thu May 08, 2008 12:23 pm

InsaneApache wrote:There's a sauna next to the 'gay' pub in Braford called Rimmers. Always raises a smile from me.

When you go in?

InsaneApache · Post by **InsaneApache** » Thu May 08, 2008 12:49 pm

boltonboris wrote:
InsaneApache wrote:There's a sauna next to the 'gay' pub in Braford called Rimmers. Always raises a smile from me.
When you go in?

Do you go into rimmers? I thought it was a bit more edgy than that.

General Mannerheim · Post by **General Mannerheim** » Thu May 08, 2008 3:03 pm

CrazyHorse wrote:
General Mannerheim wrote:All round the dinner table when not my nan but my mum wanted to know what 'rimming' was! then beacuse everyone was biting their hands laughing, she got on the phone to my aunt, 'whats rimming? these buggers wont tell me, what is rimming?"

How the hell did the subject of rimming crop up whilst sat round the dinner table?

haha, not sure if this is even worse - she had been on facebook and my brothers status was 'rimming my mother' - he wasnt of course, his mate had changed it when he wasnt looking.

Electric Gretar · Post by **Electric Gretar** » Thu May 08, 2008 3:23 pm

" If you fall off that wall and break your legs, don't come running to me" was one of my favourites when I was a kid.

Milky_Joe · Post by **Milky_Joe** » Thu May 08, 2008 4:42 pm

Apparently, my nan was looking for a new shower curtain rail, she asked one of the guys working in the store what they had. He replied, "all we've got is these poles," to which she replied "we've got enough of those in this country all ready" and promptly walked away....

Its even funnier because one of her best friends is a Polish woman who came over here after the war!

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Thu May 08, 2008 4:47 pm

Milky_Joe wrote:Apparently, my nan was looking for a new shower curtain rail, she asked one of the guys working in the store what they had. He replied, "all we've got is these poles," to which she replied "we've got enough of those in this country all ready" and promptly walked away....

Its even funnier because one of her best friends is a Polish woman who came over here after the war!

That might have been classed as humour rather than senility.

WhiteArmy · Post by **WhiteArmy** » Thu May 08, 2008 9:15 pm

My ex-wife's gran used to say " I've been on the precipice" (the precinct).

Another one was when she was reading the birth announcements and said "well, what a stupid name to call your baby, Caesar Ian" The child had been born by caesarian section.

Bruce Rioja · Post by **Bruce Rioja** » Thu May 08, 2008 9:28 pm

Neither of my Nanas ever said anything even remotely daft. Thank-you!

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