Gardens

[Puskas]

What the b@starding feck is the point of gardens? You spend ages digging up weeds, yanking the little feckers out of the ground, only for them to grow back. So you have to do it over and over again.
Then sanctimonious types tell you that it wouldn't be so bad if only you kept on top of it. Well, that would mean I'd have to go out every bloody week and do some gardening. And I want to do as little as possible.
Concreting over the thing. It's the way forward.

And some people actually like gardening. Are they mad? Yes. Clearly, they are.

[Batman]

I live in a very nice flat, with professionally tended gardens that are a joy to sit in.


Thank you.

[communistworkethic]

I live in a very nice flat, with professionally tended gardens that are a joy to sit in.


Thank you.

it's called a "care home" to everyone else batman.

[Batman]

I know.

Meals are on time and a very nice nurse wipes your arse for you, it's paradise,

[freeindeed]

I know.

Meals are on time and a very nice nurse wipes your arse for you, it's paradise,

Especially if the nurse is called Alfred

[Dujon]

Ah, Puskas, you are missing out on the delights of being a gardener. People are not being sanctimonious when they offer advice on those occasions you complain about the drudgery of tending to nature's needs. The pure pleasure that can be gained from maintaining a compost heap, the erotic sensations aroused by pruning and weeding, the sense of achievement at being able, not only to identify but to also spell and pronounce the botanical names of all the hundreds of plants to be found in your personal Eden are but a few of the advantages. There is also the physical fitness aspect to be considered - grabbing a hundredweight of potting mix, throwing it over your shoulder with consummate ease and then lazily ambling around to the potting bench and delicately filling row upon row of seedling tubes without spilling a single atom, or the strengthening of your back muscles with activity hardly noticed when hoeing and digging and, indeed, when harvesting the fruit of your labour.

Then there is the astronomical information that you will inevitably absorb whilst undertaking this wonderful activity. Imagine knowing exactly which part of your garden will be in full sun, partial sun or shade at any time of the year. Imagine having a complicated sundial with an adjustable gnomon. Imagine having a rest for a couple of minutes and surveying the devastation caused by your half finished project and thinking through the tasks yet to be completed.

This, Puskas, is bliss . . . well, my wife says it is.

[Raven]

Delights? FFS!!!

Make sure the concrete is green

[Abdoulaye's Twin]

I know.

Meals are on time and a very nice nurse wipes your arse for you, it's paradise,

She's not called Carol is she? Heard she was into bowels and incontinence these days

Sorry, I'll get me coat

[ratbert]

You can have the joys of a garden without concrete. A nice mix of paving and gravel with a few pot plants solves the problem (or it would do in my jungle)

[TANGODANCER]

You can have the joys of a garden without concrete. A nice mix of paving and gravel with a few pot plants solves the problem (or it would do in my jungle)

Gardens are a delight. Couple of lawns either side of a path, patio area with a gazebo, roses, berberis, mexican orange blossom and the usual annual fuschia, begonias and geraniums in full bloom. Couple of beers and a bit of music in the evening. Marvelous.

[enfieldwhite]

I have a gardener.

He comes in once every two weeks and potters around for a couple of hours.

I then come home, sit on my patio and gaze lovingly over my manicured lawn and borders.

Bliss

[fatshaft]

What the b@starding feck is the point of gardens? You spend ages digging up weeds, yanking the little feckers out of the ground, only for them to grow back. So you have to do it over and over again.
Then sanctimonious types tell you that it wouldn't be so bad if only you kept on top of it. Well, that would mean I'd have to go out every bloody week and do some gardening. And I want to do as little as possible.
Concreting over the thing. It's the way forward.

And some people actually like gardening. Are they mad? Yes. Clearly, they are.

We must have been seperated at birth

[Di Stefano]

What the b@starding feck is the point of gardens? You spend ages digging up weeds, yanking the little feckers out of the ground, only for them to grow back. So you have to do it over and over again.
Then sanctimonious types tell you that it wouldn't be so bad if only you kept on top of it. Well, that would mean I'd have to go out every bloody week and do some gardening. And I want to do as little as possible.
Concreting over the thing. It's the way forward.

And some people actually like gardening. Are they mad? Yes. Clearly, they are.

So I'm sanctimonious. And mad.


Hmmm.

[malcd1]

What the b@starding feck is the point of gardens? You spend ages digging up weeds, yanking the little feckers out of the ground, only for them to grow back. So you have to do it over and over again.
Then sanctimonious types tell you that it wouldn't be so bad if only you kept on top of it. Well, that would mean I'd have to go out every bloody week and do some gardening. And I want to do as little as possible.
Concreting over the thing. It's the way forward.

And some people actually like gardening. Are they mad? Yes. Clearly, they are.

I had the same feeling before approaching middle age and having kids. Your priorities change and come to appreciate the finer things in life. A garden is great to let the children out playing football, mud pies (Yes they still make them) etc. The grass doesn't hurt as much as concrete or astroturf so it is safer. It is much more beautiful to look at especially spring and summer.

As Dujon said you can make a compost heap and convince yourself that you are doing your bit for the environment (My bins only need collecting every 3/4 weeks). Saving money by making your own compost is actually quite rewarding.

I grow a few carrots and pea pods which even my daughter will eat and she think vegetables are disgusting.

If only it wasn't such a time-consuming bitch to keep nice. But it is worth it. I think.